This weird ass bnha crack
by reneedoesfics
Summary: a crack. I'm so sorry for what you're about to read bakugo swears btw i mean everyone does


There were fucsmbnytmu8.

Flow sand Chris.

They walk in some big ass building or some shit

Thot go up Srairs.

They walk in a cl _ **ASS**_ room.

The teacher walks up and says. "Hi! Welcome to hell! Take a seat!"

"Wo3w! I've always wanted to3 go3 to3 Hell!" Floafa holds out her upside down cross necklace, taking a seat next to some fuck with sticky balls.

"Hi! I'm Midoriya! What are your names?" A green haired boi asks.

"3y na3e is 'Do3n't talk to3 3e o3r I'll sho3ve a bro3o33 up yo3ur ass'. Pleasure 3eeting yo3u." Floafa is salt.

Midoriya looks frightened.

"Cal3 do3wn, Bush bo3y." Floafa laughs. "I'3 jo3king."

"Kinda…" She mutters.

"fLOAFA NO!" Crystal yells.

"Flo3afa yes." Floafa smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.

"So you're Floafa? Nice to meet you!" Midoriya smiles.

"I'3 go3ing to3 eat yo3ur so3ul." Floafa smiles back.

"Uhh…ok?" Midoriya walks over to CRySt. "Hi!"

"O3h yeah that bitch right there is Crystal." Floafa dies inside. "Say hi, Crystal."

"Yeet." Crystal states.

"That wasn't hi yo3u fucking o3range." Floafa narrows her eyes.

"Oh. Hi." Crystal dies inside.

Floafa kinda just approaches the kid with sticky balls. "Why?"

"Why what?" The BALLHEAD AsKS.

She just points to his head. "Why?"

"I was born this way." he said.

"Why?" Floafa repeats, leaning on his desk.

"bECAUSE MY PARENTS DECIDED TO FU-"

"…Why?" Floafa begins sliding down, trying to casually lean on the desk while her body is just giving up.

"BECAUSE THEY WERE **DRUNK**."

"Why?" She repeats.

"Floafa. Stop." Crystal wheezes.

" **W h y?** " Floafa gives a menacing grin, still staring at the poor kid.

Crystal throws a phone at Floafa.

"O3W WHAT THE FUCK?!" Floafa yells. "WHERE DID YO3U GET A PHO3NE?"

Crystal points to a desk at the back of the class.

Gary Oak w/ bleached hair angrily walks over and punches Crystal.

"AY! DO3N'T BEAT UP 3Y BITCH! O3NLY I CAN DO3 THAT, **SHRI3P DICK!** " Floafa yells, standing straight.

"OW wHAT tHE FUCK!" Crystal yells.

"SHUT UP!" Gary oak yells.

"DO3N'T TELL 3E WHAT TO3 DO3 O3R I'LL 3URDER YO3UR FA3ILY WITH A GRAND PIANO3, 3O3THERFUCKER!" Floafa is die.

"GO AHEAD!" He yells, kicking Cryst.

Floafa uses her void powers and summons a gRAND PIANO IN THE CLASSROOM, LIFTING IT ABOVE HER HEAD AND SCREAMING INTENSELY.

"THIS IS ANIMAL ABUSE!" Crystal yells.

"I'm calling Peta." A yellow haired dude says.

Floafa chucks the grand piano out the window, still screaming.

"Where did you get that grand piano?" Midoriya asks.

"3Y ASS!" Floafa yells.

"How would you be able to pull something that big out of your ass?" A red and white haired boi asks.

"KEVLAR AND CO3LO3R PRINTERS." Floafa shrugs, not looking at the kid.

"Wait o3ne fUCKING SECO3ND WHY DO3 YO3U LO3O3K LIKE THE CANADIAN FLAG? A3 I high?!" She turns to face the kid.

He looks annoyed.

"3ERRY FUCKING CHRIST3AS." Floafa tosses peppermints everywhere.

"Why are you throwing peppermints everywhere?" The Canadian flag asks.

"Have yo3u ever even seen yo3ur hair?" Floafa replies.

"...Ouch." He says.

"I'3 diso3wning yo3u." Floafa crosses her arms, sitting down.

"Ok- wait what?" He asks.

She opens an umbrella. "I said: "I'3 diso3wning yo3u."."

"What's your name?" Cryst asks the peppermint boi.

"Todoroki. You?" He asks.

"Shut up, To3do3rk." Floafa laughs, kicking up her feet, umbrella still in hand.

"Shut up, Floafuck." Crystal growls.

"Shut up, Chris." Floafa is still holding her umbrella.

Crystal kicks Floafa.

"O3w." Floafa states.

"What is your name?" Todoroki asks again.

"Her na3e is Crystal. No3w, shut up yo3u can get her nu3ber later." Floafa throws her open umbrella at him.

"Why would I need her number?" Todoroki asks.

Floafa stops breathing and just stares judgmentally at him for about 5 minutes.

Todork waits for an answer.

"Yo3u're _actually_ stupid." Floafa comes to realization.

"Wait wha- oh. OH." Todoroki realises.

Floafa begins clapping. "Yo3u finally figured it o3ut after o3nly…what? 6 3inutes?"

ThEN THE BeLL RINGS AND CLASS ENDS.

Midoriya walks up to bitch. "What are your quirks?"

"Uh…yo3u're 3ido3ri right?" Floafa asks, jotting down names on a piece of paper.

"Just call me Deku." He says.

"I'3 calling yo3u 3ido3ri." She responds.

"Oh. Ok." He says.

"You asked about our quirks right?" Floafa finishes her writing.

"Yes." He states.

"Well I have the po3wer to3 su33o3n anything and everything fro33 the vo3id…and I guess so33eti3es I have wings to3o3." She shrugs. "What's yo3urs?"

"I'm quirkless." He says.

"O3o3f." Floafa laughs.

"What's Crystal's quirk?" Deku asks.

"Crystal's is-…wait…what _is_ yo3ur quirk, Crystal?" Floafa asks, looking over at her.

"i'M ELSA!" Crystal wheezes.

"O3h…right." Floafa laughs. "GIVE UP!"

ThEY Walk over to ball perasos.

Floafa salutes him. "Sauce."

"Stop." He says.

"Why- Wait, no3…ho3w co33e?" She sus.

"You stupid." He responds.

"I ate six feet o3f fruit by the fo3o3t befo3re I go3t here. Do3n't fucking test 3e." Floafa salts.

"K." He leaves.

"W- GET YO3UR ASS BACK HERE!" She salts harder.

"NO." he yells.

Floafa tackles him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He yells.

"I SAID NO3T TO3 TEST 3E!" Floafa is salty salt as salt as the salty salty salt ocean salt.

"LeAVE ME ALONe!" He yells, attempting to escape.

"WHY SHOULD I?" Floafa yells back.

"You HAVE ReTARD." He states.

"YES. I HAVE YO3U IN 3Y PO3SSESSIO3N. WHAT ABO3UT IT?" She replies.

He escapes and fUCKING RUNS FOR HIS LIFE.

"WAIT! I DO3N'T EVEN KNO3W YO3UR NA3E!" Floafa calls after him.

The bell rings and they go to ClASS.

The teacher forces everyone to throw a ball.

"This sucks 3ajo3r ass." Floafa states.

She makes eye contact with Midoriya. "What's that purple kid's na3e?"

"Mineta." He responds.

"Ah." She nods, approaching said grape.

He throws the ball at her.

"O3w." She states. "Thanks fo3r that."

He walks away from her. "No."

"Why do3 yo3u hate 3e?" Floafa frowns.

"You're gay." He states.

"No3 u." She responds.

Mineta fucking leaves.

"Ho3w dare yo3u." Floafa is salt and upset, following him.

"WaNNA SPRITE CRANBERRY?!" Crystal yells.

"I'3 GO3NNA SHO3VE A SPRITE CRANBERRY UP YO3UR ASS." Floafa continues following Mineta.

"SToP!" He yells.

"No3." Floafa smiles mischievously. "I _wo3n't_ sto3p."

"I know how to smoke markers." Crystal wheezes.

"I kno3w ho3w to3 s3o3ke do33ino3s. No3w shut the fuck up." Floafa is being very salty today omg.

"Floafa. Stop." The teacher says.

Floafa groans. "Bitch lasagna."

"T-SERIES IS NOTHING BUT BITCH LASAGNA!" A red haired guy yells.

"Pronounce lasagna like champagne. Lasagne" Floafa states. "Pronounce champagne like lasagna. Champagna."

"Yes." a yellow haired fuk says.

The class ends.

Floafa just appears in front of Grape Soda. "I'3 trying to3 be yo3ur friend, 3ineta."

"A FRIEND DOESN'T CHASE PEOPLE AROUND."

"Crystal chases 3e all the ti3e tho3ugh." Floafa cocks her head.

"Oh shit. I've been bamboozled." He dies inside.

Floafa laughs. "Why wo3n't yo3u accept 3y lo3ve?"

"U gay." He responds.

"I'3 literally the o3nly perso3n who3 likes yo3u." She scoffs.

"Shit…you're right." He responds.

"But no3w I do3n't _want_ to3 be yo3ur friend any3o3re." She blows a raspberry, childishly.

"K." He leaves.

"Yo3u're just no3t bo3thered by anything are yo3u?" She sighs.

"LEAVE ME ALONE." He yells.

"O3ne day yo3u will learn to3 appreciate 3e." She shakes her head, walking back to where Crystal is.

"I wanna go3 ho33e." She says to Crystal.

"K." She says.

The two decide to go home for the day because fuck school amarite?

*TImE SKIP*

The next day they arrivo at the school and go to class I guess.

The teacher announces that everyone will have a dorm room.

"Yaaay." Floafa pumps her fist in the air unenthusiastically, sitting down next to Mineta.

"Owo." Crystal states.

Floafa rests her chin on the desk, tired. "Shut up abo3ut yo3ur furry bullshit."

"Aw." Crystal frowns.

"Where are the dorm rooms?" Todoroki asks.

"Up yo3ur ass." Floafa responds.

The teacher takes them to their rooms.

"O3h, that's nice." Floafa stares into space, wanting Hell to consume her very soul and existence.

"I want die." Crystal states.

"I WANT TO3 BE AN O3O33PA LO3O33PA! TAKE 3E TO3 THE3 SO3 THE DEED 3AY BE DO3NE!" Floafa announces.

"Stop yelling. People can hear you." Cryasdrtr dies.

"Yeah, no3 shit." Floafa responds.

"Wait. Why would you want to be a oompa loompa?" Crystal asks.

"Why no3t?" Floafa answers.  
"Oof." Crystal says.

Then they go back to ass and sit down.

The teacher gives them a board and tells them to write what they want their hero name to be.

 **Floafa doesn't even creative** she just writes "Rogue of Void." on board.

Some pink haired fuck begins clapping.

Floafa looks at them. "Why are yo3u clapping?"

"ThAt's A weE-!" They laugh.

Floafa is just confused. "Wee? Or- Wait…Wii?"

"WIIIII." The bitch states.

"Wii U." Floafa responds.

"Ok. Get the fuck back in your seat." The teacher says.

"Yo3u're no3t 3y 3o33." Floafa wheezes.

"But I am your teacher. Sit down." He says.

"Yeah, but yo3u're no3t 3y parent and o3r guardian so3 I do3n't have to3 listen to3 yo3u." Floafa states.

"Don't make me hit you." He says.

"That's rude." Floafa sits down.

She looks over at Mineta. "Go3o3d evening."

"Die." He salt.

"Nice to3 see yo3u to3o3, Grape Juice." She smiles at him.

Mineta gets called up. "Uhh…GRAPE JUICE!"

Floafa snorts. "O3h3yfuckingGo3d."

"Wow thanks." Mineta says.

Floafa slams her face against her desk. "I didn't expect yo3u to3 use that."

"mY DiCk FELL OFf!" Mineta yells.

Floafa just begins laughing **hard** er than ever.

The teacher calls Crystal up.

"Uhhh…Ices?" Crystal dies inside.

"Cho3colate is very high." Floafa states.

"WhAT?" A bitch from the back of the class yells.

"Adapt with yo3u, Father." Floafa smiles.

"Midoriya. Get your ass up here." The teacher looks like he wants to die.

"What is fo3o3d?" Floafa laughs.

"My hero name is going to be Deku!" Deku smiles.

"Has he left again? Go3o3d luck." Floafa groans. "I do3 no3t want to3 clo3se the device no3w."

"Ok. Go back to your seat." The teacher says.

Floafa smiles at Mineta. "Why did yo3u co33e o3ut an ancho3r?"

"Why are you asking so many questions?" He asks.

"Because I lo3ve yo3u." She smiles at him.

"Epic victory royalle." Mineta wheezes.

" **Never3ind.** " She cringes.

The teacher callass Todoroki up.

"Go3o3d luck, To3do3rk." Floafa gives a thumbs up _like Daryl_.

"...Shoto." Todoroki states.

"I PUT 3Y DICK IN 3INETA!" Floafa stands on her desk.

"NO- wait." Mineta looks up her skirt.

"420!" She gestures angrily at the clock.

"Y E S." Crystal dies.

Floafa cheers, still standing on her desk _**wearing a skirt**_.

Crystal walks over to her and pushes her off.

"Fuck-" Floafa uses her flying to not die.

 **Mineta is still being a total perv.**

"mY GIRAFFE'S NOSTRIL IS FALLING OFF!" Crystal yells.

"It's been falling o3ff fo3r years, Crystal." Floafa states.

"No. IT wIlL aCTUAllY Fall OfFfFFfffF!" Crystal is holding a giraffe toy.

"Why the fuck did yo3u bring that?" Floafa asks, sitting on Mineta's desk.

"SHE IS NOT A 'that'!" Crystal yells.

"Yo3u're Gay." Floafa facepalms.

"Aw." Crystal frowns.

And then the bell rinds.

Floafa approaches Mineta, smiling. "I kno3w yo3u were lo3o3king up 3y skirt in class, **Perv.** "

"Shut up." Mineta salts.

"Well, I ho3pe yo3u like the taste o3f 3y fist because I'3 go3ing to3 sho3ve it so3 far do3wn yo3ur thro3at yo3u'll-" Floafa begins.

Then the teacher announces who will be fighting who.

Floafa smiles at Mineta, cracking her knuckles. "Are yo3u and yo3ur Frubbles prepared fo3r this?"

Crystal looks at a Todork. "I'll kick your ass."

"CAN I HAVE A PEPPER3INT?!" Floafa yells.

"YOU CAN HAVE A PEPPERMINT!" Crystal yells back.

Floafa pulls out a chainsaw. "YO3U CAN RUN BUT YO3U CAN'T HIDE!"

"Nopenopenopenopenopenope." Mineta fucking runs.

Floafa is chasing him with a chainsaw.

"NONONONONONONO!" Mineta is running for his fucking life.

Floafa is laughing maniacally, still chasing him with her chainsaw. "GET BACK HERE, YO3U BITCH!"

Mineta trips. "OOF."

Floafa holds her chainsaw over him **menacingly**.

"Don'tkillmeplease." He is frighten.

"Then bark." She smirks, revving the chainsaw again.

"Bork." He state.

"LO3UDER!" She yells, threatening him with her chainsaw.

"...why?" He asks.

"JUST **BARK**." She snarls.

" _ **ARFARFAR**_ _ **F**_ _ **A**_ _ **G**_ _ **ARAFRAGRFAFAFGAFAFAR!**_ " He yells.

 **She then proceeds to beat the shit out of him for good grades.**

After that she drags him out of the…arena? Idfk.

"Get up o3r I'3 giving yo3u CPR." Floafa pokes his corpse him.

Krusty Krab and Todork walk into the arena thing.

Crystal throws a peppermint at him.

There is a long uncomfortable silence as he just stares at it.

He punches Crystal in the face.

"O3O3F!" Floafa yells from somewhere.

Crystal pounces on him and bites him, stabbing him with ice.

He kicks her off of him, salty. "No!"

The fight goes on for what feels like forever, as Floafa just kinda pokes Mineta periodically.

Todoroki beats the shit out of Crystal.

Floafa is standing over Mineta's body _**still wearing a skirt.**_

She splashes him with water, **causing him to stop being dead.**

Pizza crust and Peppermint walk out of the arena.

"Get up." Floafa snarls.

Mineta doesn't get up. "No."

"Yo3u're sick. Y'kno3w that?" She is salt.

"What fuck?" Crystal is confoos.

"What?" Floafa raises a brow, looking at her friend.

"Is he dead?" Crystal asks.

"…No3. He's alright." Floafa gives an ok hand.

"Are you sure?" Crystal oof.

"Well, he's lo3o3king up 3y skirt like a perv so3 I assu3e he's alright." Floafa responds, looking him dead in the eyes.

Todoroki walks over. "Hi."

Floafa grabs Mineta by the collar of his shirt, picking him up. "Use yo3ur fucking legs, Grape Juice."

"Wait…what's your name?" Totodile asks Flof.

She turns, still holding Mineta. "Yo3u…do3n't kno3w 3y na3e?"

"No." Dodo birb says.

She inhales deeply, then just screams. "IT'S FLO3AFA."

She drops Mineta on the ground because a bitch heavy.

"OOF." Mineta dies.

"Shut up." Floafa responds to him. "Yo3u're heavy as shit."

"wHY THE FUcK WOULD YOu CaRrY ME IF I'M HEAVY?!" He salty.

"Because-…shit I'3 no3t even sure." She ponders it. "…THAT DO3ESN'T 3ATTER- when are we eating fo3o3d?"

"…Unlike when we _don't_ eat _food?_ " Crystal asks.

"I 3ean I co3uld just eat pussy." Floafa responds.

"Or in 3ineta's case _**dick.**_ " She adds, coughing.

"N O." Mineta dies.

"Yo3u kno3w yo3u like the idea o3f it." Floafa snorts.

"My dick fell off." He states.

"Interesting." Floafa stares into the sun. "SO3 ArE WE Go3Ing to3 eAT o3r ARE we JUST Go3nnA StARVE!?"

"We starve and die." Crystal says.

" _ **L o y.**_ " Floafa is dying inside.

Todoroki just leaves.

"Wait so3 do3 we actually eat o3r a3 I just go3nna have to3 s3uggle fo3o3d in?" Floafa asks, probably high.

"YoU GeT YOur own FoOd." Mineta dies.

"O3o3f so3rry we left befo3re fo3o3d yesterday." Floafa puts her hands in the air.

Adnt hee bell.

"fO3O3D?!" Floafa yells.

"OWo." Crystal states.

"Nein." Floafa slaps Crust.

~Owo timeskieprt I guess~

There's food.

Don't ask how.

There's just **food**.

"UwU." Crystal states.

Floafa has a juice box in her hand and is trying to poke it with the straw to drink from it. "FUCK!"

"What are you trying to do?" Mineta asks.

"I'3 TRYING TO3 PENETRATE…grape juice." She stops and looks at the juice box. " _ **O3h 3y Go3d.**_ "

She just hands him the box and the straw. "Help3eeee!"

"Grape juice is so3 delicio3us but I'3 just no3t used to3 o3pening juice bo3xes. Theydo3n'texisto3n3yplanet." She whines.

He stabs the straw into the box. "There."

"3y hero3!" She smiles.

"Die." He says.

Floafa frowns. "Aw."

"I do3n't understand yo3u." She narrows her eyes at him, sipping her juice box. "I 3ean, o3ne 3o33ent yo3u tell 3e to3 leave and that yo3u hate 3e and the next yo3u lo3o3k up 3y skirt. What is WITH yo3u?"

"The demons told me to." Mineta wheezes.

" **AH.** " Floafa stares into space. " _ **LO3VELY.**_ "

"WEEEEEEE." The pink haired girl returns.

"Hello3, Wii." Floafa smiles.

"WIIIIIIIIIi- hi." The bitch wheezes.

"Why are yo3u here?" Floafa asks.

"Why not?" Wii asks.

"…Shit yo3u right." Floafa throws her arms in the air.

Wii sits down.

"So3 what even _is_ yo3ur na3e?" Floafa sips on her juice.

"Mina." Mina wiis.

Floafa is so shocked she expels grape juice out her fucking nose. "DID YO3U JUST SAY NINA O3R 3EENAH?!"

"Whothefuck?" Mina asks.

After Floafa stops coughing and dying on her juice she responds. "Flo3afa."

"Kink kong." Mina wheezes.

"Kinky do3ng." Floafa responds.

"kINKY DONG!" Mina yells, scaring everyone.

Floafa holds a sword up to her crotch, stands up on the table and yells. "I'3 GO3ING TO3 UNSHEATHE 3Y **SEXCALIBUR!** LO3O3K O3UT, BITCHES!"

Crystal begins laughing and dying.

Floafa sits back down peacefully and drinks like her 5th box of juice for the day, stabbing it open with scissors. "Viva la revo3lutio3n."

"KFC." Deku states.

"Kentucky fried fuck 3e up the ass." Floafa responds, putting Mineta in a friendly headlock.

Then THe BeLL RiNGs

Floafa stops murdering Mineta.

"Oh shit oh fuck." Mina dies inside.

"? ﾸﾏO3P IT." Floafa yells.

"TWIST IT!" Deku yells back.

"PULL IT!" Crystal shrieks.

"ShAKE IT!" Mineta yells.

"YAAAAAAAAY!" Floafa announces. "Wait…what do3 we have next?"

"History." Mina dies.

Floafa wheezes. "I'3 go3nna see ho3w 3any grapes I can fit in 3y 3o3uth before I have to3 spit the3 all o3ut."

"Stop." Mineta wheezes.

"That turns yo3u o3n do3esn't it?" Floafa snorts.

"nO!" He yells, blushing.

"Just ad3it yo3u want this ass and save yo3urself the tro3uble." Floafa laughs.

"Ew your ass is gay." Mineta cringes.

"Yo3u're o3ne to3 talk." Floafa crosses her arms.

"SHOULDn'T WE GET TO CLASS?!" Crystal yells.

"O3h shIT." Floafa yells.

They all rush to the fuckgjfugngh csaassss.

Crystal runs in the classroom and yells. "CAN I HAVE A PEPPERMINT?!"

Floafa smacks Crystal, hopping into her desk and yelling. "FUCK YO3UR PEPPER3INT!"

"Waitwhat?" Todork asks.

"CRYSTAL WANTS THE DICK!" Floafa yells.

"nO!" Crystal cringes.

Mineta shamefully sits down.

"Whythefuck?" Todoroki is dying inside.

Floafa hands Mineta a piece of paper that has a shitty poem on it.

"What the fuck?" Mineta dies.

It reads.

Violets are violet

Roses are red

I can't do poetry

But I can give you head

"Oh." Mineta says, bloosh.

"mY NAME Is MIDNIGHT!" The teacher yells.

"cAN I HAVE A PEPPERMINT?" Crystal yells.

"TO3DO3RK IS A PEPPER3INT." Floafa responds.

"What?" Todork is confusion.

"SI3O3N SAYS: NO3 TO3UCHING YO3URSELF IN CLASS." Floafa yells, glaring at Mineta.

"What the fuck?" Midnight asks.

"UPSIDE-DO3WN CRO3SSES 3AKE BETTER DILDO3S. BECO33E A SATANIST TO3DAY AT YO3UR LO3CAL TESCO3." Floafa announces.

Crystal stands on top of Peppermint's dest, t posing.

"HIT O3R 3ISS. NAZIS STILL EXIST!" Floafa yells, standing on her own desk.

"HUH?" Crystal yells back.

Floafa begins playing "Never gonna give you up" on a recorder.

Bakugo walks up to Crystal and pushes her off.

Floafa roundhouse kicks Bakugo in the face. " _ **FUCK THE DUCK UNTIL EXPLO3DED!**_ "

"Owie-" Crystal is dying on the ground.

"LO3O3K O3UT, WO3RLD! I'3 HARD AND I'3 CO33ING!" Floafa yells, standing triumphantly atop her desk.

Mineta slams his face against his desk.

"Whythefuckdidyoupushme?!" Crystal is dying.

Floafa locks eyes with Mineta. "I'3 GO3NNA TREAT YO3U LIKE 3Y PINKIE TO3E AND BANG YO3U AGAINST EVERY PIECE O3F FURNITURE I O3WN!"

"ClASS DiSMisSED GEt OUT OF MY CLASSROOM." Midnight yells.

"Wait but we haven't even started-" Floafa points out.

"GEt OUt!" Midnight yells. "GO To YouR ROOM!"

"Yo3u're no3t even allo3wed to3 kick us o3ut." Floafa laughs.

"I DON'T caRE. GeT oUT! GO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS OR SOME SHIT!"

Everyone stays silent for a second and then they all just fuckin run out of the room.

"HO3LY FUCKING SHIT IT'S CO3LD!" Floafa yells.

"No it's not." Crystal says.

"WELL EXCUSE 3E FO3R BEING CO3LD BLO3O3DED." She snaps.

"Boi you're not a lizard." Crystal snaps back.

"NO3. BUT I'3 A FISH, YO3U LIBTARD." **She hugs Mineta.**

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" An angry Bakugan asks.

"Are yo3u blind?" Floafa asks.

"Can I have a peppermint?" Crystal wheezes.

"Can we go3 the fuck inside befo3re I dIE?!" Floafa salt.

"Why?" Todo asks.

"Because I...do3n't want to3 die?"

"But it's not even cold out." Todoroki says.

Floafa is murdering Mineta with love. "I a3 **co3ld blo3o3ded** and Christ3as is appro3aching bITCH IT'S CO3LD."

"LEt's Go INSiDE ThEN." Crystal says.

Floafa grabs Mineta's wrist and **absconds**.

Crust and Todork follow.

They go into the dorm room and Floafa shoves Mineta onto her bed. "Sit please."

"That's gay." Mineta says.

"Are yo3u still upset abo3ut 3e chasing yo3u with a chainsaw and then beating the everlo3ving Christ o3ut o3f yo3u?" Floafa boops her nose to his cheek. "Because I'3 so3rry."

"F u." He salts.

"Ho3w can I 3ake yo3u happy?" Floafa whines, sitting next to him, her nose still on his cheek.

He turns his head to face her, their faces only centimeters apart now.

They stare at each other for a bit, not moving.

Mineta feels his pants getting a little… _ **tighter**_. ;)

"mY DICK FELL OFF!" He yells.

"Nice…" Floafa sighs, standing up and moving towards the Crystal.

She whaps Crystal on the head with a newspaper and sits back down.

 **What a cunt.**

"You bitch." Crystal growls.

"Takes o3ne to3 kno3w o3ne." **Floafa nonchalantly wraps an arm around Mineta.**

A girl walks in, wearing an oversized maroon sweater. "Hey, uh, do you guys know where my dorm room is?"

Floafa raises a brow at her. "Yo3u do3n't?"

The girl shows them a small piece of paper with a number on it.

"O3k…well, first thing's first." Floafa facepalms. "It's upside do3wn because 'E' isn't a fucking nu3ber."

"Thanks so much!" The bitch turns it around, then says "Also I have a question. Do you have a baby carrot?"

"No3. But I have a regular sized carro3t I'3 go3nna sho3ve up yo3ur ass if yo3u do3n't get o3ut o3f here." Floafa snarls.

The person leaves.

Floafa sharply inhales, stands up, and jumps out the window.

"Oh shit." Todork says.

"I'3 GO3NNA SNEEZLE IN YO3UR SPAGHETTIO3S!" Floafa yells from outside.

"WHY DID YOU JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW?!" Crystal yells.

"FUCK YO3U THAT'S WHY!" Floafa yells back, climbing back in through the window.

The girl walks back. "Do you know where the…anything here…is?"

Floafa, covered in broken glass and dead leaves, sighs. "What do3 yo3u want to3 find?"

"Um, are you ok, miss?" The bitch asks.

"DID YO3U jUST ASSU3E 3Y GENDER?!" Floafa yells.

"Sorry…you...BYE!" Bitch runs off, tripping over her hoodie a lot.

Floafa slams her face on the bed, screaming. "I'3 GO3NNA FAIL NO3 NUT NO3VE3BER!"

The door is bROKEN when someone kicks it open with a kazoo in their hand. "DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY NO NUT NOVEMBER?!"

"O3H 3Y FUCKING GO3D, HENRY, GO3 AWAY!" Floafa wheezes.

"Who the fuck is this?" PP asks.

"This is Hen-" Floafa begins.

Henry begins doing the default dance.

"HENRY NO3!" Floafa begins laughing.

Crystal begins laughing HARd.

"HENRY I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO NUT IN YOUR CHEERIOS!" Floafa threatens. "go3o3O3O3O3 AwaaYY, HennRY!"

"Who is he?" Todork asks again.

"HE'S 3Y FAILURE O3F A BRO3THER!" Floafa yells.

"SWIGGITY SWAGGITY YOU WERE ADOPTED!" Henry yells, doing orange justice.

"HENRY NoO." Crystal dies.

Floafa is just screaming into a pillow. "GETO3UT!"

Crystal walks up to Henry and looks him in the eyes.

She kicks him in the nust.

Floafa shoves Henry out the door, slamming it behind him. "AND DO3N'T LET THE DO3O3R HIT YO3UR CO333UNIST ASS O3N THE WAY O3UT!"

Todoroki laughs at this.

Mineta is dying inside.

Floafa sighs with relief. "Finally that hentai-lo3ving 3o3therfucker is go3ne."

"hE'S UNDERAGE-" Crystal wheezes.

"I'3 GO3NNA GO3 WALK O3N LEGO3 BRICKS FO3R THE REST O3F THE DAY!" Floafa announces, doing a 360 and heading towards the door.

"K." MinetA responds.

"And I'3 gO3NNA SHO3VE SO33E UP YO3UR ASS WHILE I'3 AT IT!" Floafa leaves the room.

"N O!" He yells.

The BITCHES FoLEOw FiShsticks.

Floafa has somehow miraculously changed into another outfit in like 3 seconds.

She is now wearing a violet skirt, a **fairly deep v neck shirt** , and rainbow fucking socks.

"MEGA OOF-" Crystal runs into a wall.

Floafa chuckles, turning to face the HOES or more specifically Mineta. "So3… _Yo3u're_ fo3llo3wing _3e_ no3w?"

"Waitwhat?" He asks.

She smirks. "3y, ho3w the tables have turned."

"Shut up. I was just following everyone else." He tsunderes.

"Whatever yo3u say." Floafa shrugs, chuckling. " _ **Darling~**_ "

"SANS DELTARUNE FUCKED MY MOM!" Crystal yells.

"Yo3u just kno3w ho3w to3 ruin anything." Floafa laughs.

"How the fuck did you change clothes so fast?" Todoroki asks.

"Dead memes." A Henry says.

"Why the fuck do3 yo3u care abo3ut 3y clo3thes?" Floafa asks.

"V neck." Crust states.

"Yes." Floafa responds, raising a brow.

"Why?" Crystal asks.

"Why no3t?" Floafa shrugs.

"MMM TASTY FISHSTICKS!" Mineta yells.

Todoroki cringes.

Floafa's face turns bright violet. "O3H."

"THAT'S GAY!" Crystal yells.

Floafa isn't sure what to do or say in this situation so she just makes an awkward squealing noise. "O3h 3y fucking Go3d."

"Gay." Crystal points at Floafa.

Floafa just covers her face with her hands, internally screaming.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" An angry Bakugo yells.

"Shutthefuckup, BAKUHO3E!" Floafa yells, still blushing.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He hits Flof.

Floafa beats him over the head with a baseball bat.

Deku is just there, clapping.

Floafa drops the bat on his corpse body and walks back into the dorm, flustered.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD HE FUCKING DEAD!" Mina yells from her window.

A loud yell of dissatisfaction comes from Floafa's room.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Mineta dies.

~Timeskip to midnight I guess idfk~

Floafa is just wandering around after midnight, like she does, and she decides it would be a good idea to just be weird and apologise to Bakugo right here right now because Floafa doesn't have a functioning brain.

She is delighted to find that his window is unlocked.

She quietly enters his room, watching him sleep peacefully for about a minute or so.

"Bakugo3?" Floafa lightly shakes him, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Bakuhoe jolts up, spoped. "Wh- How did you get in here?!"

"Yo3ur windo3w was unlo3cked." Floafa smiles, getting onto her hands and knees, still on the bed.

"Why are you here?" Bakugo is just done.

"I…I just wanted to3 apo3lo3gize." Floafa says nervously.

"For going through my window?" He asks

" **No3.** Fo3r, o3h, I dunno3 _**beating yo3u o3ver the head with a baseball bat?**_ " She snorts.

"Oh. Yeah." He laughs.

"So3…I'3so3rry." She gets up and begins walking back towards the window.

"Wait." BAak says.

Floafa stops. "Yes?"

"Stay." He demands.

She tenses at the words. "Stay?"

" **S T A Y.** " He says.

"W-Why wo3uld yo3u want 3e to3 stay?" She turns to face him.

Bakugo's face turns as red as a cucumber. "J-just stay."

"Alright." Floafa smiles, sitting back down on his bed.

"Noodle." He states.

"Wh- o3kay?" Floafa raises a brow.

Bakugo is holding a raw noodle. "I have no friends."

"Gee I wo3nder why." Floafa snorts.

"How many fRieNdS DO you HavE?" He yellow.

Floafa slaps her hand over his mouth. "First: be quiet it's, like, 2 in the 3o3rning. Seco3nd: I have 3o3re friends than yo3u."

"Who?" HE asks.

"Deku, Crystal, To3do3ro3ki, 3ina…the list go3es o3n." She swings her legs.

"Why are you friends with that dumb half and half bastard?" Bakuhoe is angery.

"Why no3t?" Floafa smiles.

"Why are you friends with him?" He asks again.

"Why no3t?" Floafa repeats.

"I just hate him." He salt.

"Why?" Floafa asks, smiling.

"I just do." He salts.

"There has to3 be a reaso3n fo3r it." Floafa cocks her head to the side.

"Hebeatmeinafight." Bakugo says.

Floafa laughs. "He beat yo3u in a fight?"

"Yes." He is angerey.

"So3, uh…" Floafa tries to conversate.

"What?" He asks.

"Shouldn't we…sleep?" Floafa suggests.

"yES." He yells.

Floafa shuffles uncomfortably. "Sho3uld I…leave?"

"NO!" He yells.

Floafa is startled by him yelling. "Who3a, o3kay."

Pokemon Go sits on the floor.

"What are yo3u do3ing?" Floafa asks.

"BEGIN THE RITUAL!" Bag yells.

"WHAT?!" Floafa is shock.

"GET THE NOODLES AND THE RICE!" He yells.

Floafa throws a bag of noodles at him and spills the rice on the ground.

He makes a pentagram with them and begins chanting. "SATAN! SATAN! MAN, HE ROCKS.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM YOU CAN SUCK MY COCK!"

Floafa joins in with chanting.

Deku kicks the door open. "Why are you so lou- what are you doing?"

They stop chanting and look at Deku.

Floafa waves happily. "We're su33o3ning Satan with the po3wer o3f no3o3dles!"

"Why are you here?" He asks Floafa.

Floafa doesn't know how to respond. "UH."

"Leave." Deku says.

"Bakugo3 wo3n't allo3w it." Floafa is dying inside.

"Leave. Go back to your own dorm." Deku says, throwing a rock at Bakugo.

"O3h no3." Floafa mutters.

"FUCK!" Bakugo yells, attempting to murder Deku.

Floafa grabs his shirt and yells. "NO3! WE aRE GO3NNA SLEEP BEFO3RE WE **D I E**."

"FINe." He yells, going into his bed.

Floafa lays next to him, smiling.

She hugs him, kissing his cheek. "Night."

His face is a cucumber.

Floafa's face turns as violet as a tomato.

NExt day owo

Bakugo opens the window and yells. "I SUMMONED SATAN WITH NOODLES AND RICE!"

Floafa is just kinda there. "Sto3p."

"No." He walks out of the room.

Floafa jumps out the open window and decides that she needs to change her clothes.

She just kinda decides against it and enters her dorm room through the shattered window.

She jumps on Crystal and yells. "WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND RAZO3R BLADES!"

"OW WHAT THE FUCK?!" She yells.

"GET UP IT'S TI3E FO3R ASS!" Floafa tugs the blankets off Crystal.

"NO." Crystal covers her face with her pillow.

Floafa defenestrates Crystal.

She jumps down after her, meeting up with the squad.

"Oof." Crystal mutters.

"Hello3, Squado3." Floafa salutes.

"Are you okay, Crystal?" Deku asks.

"Crystal's fiiine." Floafa scoffs.

"I'mdying." Crystal wheezes.

"See? Fine." Floafa smiles. "NO3WLET'SGO3TO3CLASS!"

"Hewwo. OwO." Todoroki walks over.

Floafa raises a brow. "To3do3ro3ki, are yo3u feeling alright?"

"YeS I'M fInEE!" He SmoiLEs.

"aNYWAYS CO33E O3N LET'S GO3 TO3 CLASS!" Floafa yells, walking at an absurdly fast pace.

Todoroki runs in. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Floafa paps Bakugo on the head and sits down.

"OK tOdAY WE WILL BE WoRKInG IN PARTNERS."

"Wat?" Floafa is spook.

"WHO Do YOU WaNT To BE PARTNERS WITH?" Midnight yells.

"FLOaFA!" Bakugo yells.

Floafa slams her face on her desk. "E."

"YEs!" Mignidht yells.

"wHAT?!" Crystal shrieks.

"YOuR PartnerR WIlL be tO **doOR** OKI!" Midnigg yells.

~Timeskip to after everyone is partnered up~

Everyone goes to meet up with their partners.

Floafa happily skips over. "3o3rning!~"

"No." Bakuhoe is saltshaker.

"Hey! _Yo3u're_ the o3ne who3 wanted to3 wo3rk with _3e._ " Floafa smiles, crossing her arms.

"Shit you're right." He says.

"WHAT IS thIS?" Todoroki is high.

"What?" Floafa is confuse.

"WAHT ARE We SUPPOsED TO DO?" He yells.

There is silence as nobody says anything.

"Yo3ur3o33." She wheezes.

"I fucking hate you." Todoroki is angery.

"Thanks." Floafa smiles, giving a thumbs up.

"WHATTHEFUCKISTHIS?!" Crystal gestures to Floafuck and Bakuhoe

"Why the FUCK ARE YOu WEARiNG PAjaMAs?" TOdoroki yells.

"Why no3t?" Floafa asks.

"Bitch lasagna." Todo states.

"Hey, Bakugo3?" Floafa smiles.

"T SERIES IS NOTHING BUT bITCH LASAGNA." That same kid yells again from the distance.

"What the fuck?" Bak is confuse.

"Bakugo3?" Floafa beams at him. "Do3 yo3u want a kiss?"

"GET a ROOM!" Mina yells.

"No." He says.

Floafa feels part of her soul die.

"Well, yo3u're getting o3ne anyways." She hands him a Hershey kiss.

"Oh." He says.

"O3h! And also3~" She kisses him.

"OK prESeNT YoUr FUCkiNG PRofJECt!" Midnigt yells.

Floafa just kinda steals Bakugo and goes up to the front.

"We will add a pen to3 o3ne po3int until we kno3w it." She states, going back to her seat.

"OK WHO'S NEdXt?" MIdnight yells.

Crystal and Todoroki walk to the front.

"HIT OR MISS? I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS hUH? yOU GOT A BOYFRIEND I BET HE DOEsN'T KISS YA! MWAH! HE GON FIND ANOThER GIRL AND HE WON'T MISS YA! HE GON SKRRT AND HIT THE DAB LIKE WIZ KHALIFA!" Crystal yells.

Floafa just kinda passes a note to Bakugay that says "What do you think?"

~fuckit it's lunch now because fuck u~

The squado is sitting together like normal and Floafa is still unsure of how everything works on Earth.

The maroon Hoodie comes back, this time wearing a hoodie that only sleeves are too long, it also has a picture of a hamster eating pizza on it.

"Uh…hello3?" Floafa questions.

Assfuck pulls out a chair and stands on it "Slumber party at my dorm Saturday, all girls plus this person," she points to Floafa "are welcome."

She gets off the chair and leaves.

"A3 I no3t a girl?" Floafa asks the table.

"Die." Cryst states.

"THAT'S NO3T AN ANSWER!" Floafa yells.

"K." CRfysd jefskLd.

A fish-looking person with long, wavy, blueb hair walks over, silently asking if she can sit down.

"Yo3u wanna sit here?" Floafa asks.

The pershon nods, taking a seat.

Floafa gives a thumbs up.

Hamster Pizza comes back. "Can sit here? You all seem sooo cool. Cooler than me anyways."

"Go3 fuck yo3urself with a lego3 brick." Floafa smiles. "This 3ay be an ever gro3wing squad but we o3nly accept o3ne perso3n a day."

"Understood." The girl check her phone, shrieks and runs off.

"So3 what's yo3ur na3e anyways?" Floafa asks the new inmate.

They stay silent, looking at the ground.

"NICE TALKiN WITH YA!" Floafa dies inside.

The hamster girl comes shrieking after a hideous hamster like thing that is flying.

Floafa begins screaming. "O3H3Y FUCKING GO3D WHAT IS THAT THING?!"

"KILL IT!" Crystal yells.

Floafa pulls out a spear at the table and lunges at it. "AAAAAAAAAA!"

"OwO." Todoroki states.

After about a minute of Floafa trying to murder that _**thing**_ , she gives up and sits back down, attempting to open a juice box.

"Peppermint has the big gay. OwO." Bakugo states.

"wHEREDIDYO3UCO33EFRO33?!" Floafa is spooked.

"The heavens." He responds.

"I ho3pe yo3u hit co3ncrete o3n yo3ur way do3wn!~" Floafa smiles.

"Oof." He says.

She laughs. "Why do3n't yo3u jo3in us?"

"No." He jumps high in the air. "MY PEOPLE NEED ME-"

Floafa forces him to sit down, by flying. "Yo3u leave yo3u die."

"Ono." He says.

"Just kill him." Todoroki says.

"This is why o3nly Crystal lo3ves yo3u." Floafa salts, forcing Bakugo to sit and **never** get up.

"Waitwhat?" Todo asks.

"sHIT I'VE BEEN EXPOSED!" Crystal yells.

Dicku is uncomforTABLE, Mina is high and Mineta is salty.

"HITleR?" Todoroki is high.

"Crystal is no3t Hitler." Floafa questions.

"Hitler is gay." Crystal wheezes.

Floafa nods in agreement.

"Hitler was gay?" Deku asks.

"No3. But yo3u are." Floafa responds.

"Oh." Deku says.

"You look gay." Bakugo says to Floafa.

"Wait what?" Floafa is just confused.

"You. Look. Gay." He repeats.

"I…can't tell if yo3u're insulting 3e o3r co33pli3enting 3e." She raises a brow.

"Gay." He points at Floafa.

Mineta just leaves.

Then duddenly villains.

"HI WE'RE HERE TO MURDER YOU!" The dude with hands on his body yells.

They begin stabbing the children.

"Excuse 3e I'3 trying to3 o3pen 3y juice bo3x, please fuck o3ff." Floafa states.

"FUCK YOUR JUICE BOX." He destroys the juice box.

Floafa is just triggered. "HO3W DARE YO3U TAKE THIS SQUISHY FISHY'S JUICE BO3X AWAY!"

Henry is just there, doing the default dance.

"KILL hENRY FIRST!" Floafa yells, pointing to her retarded, gay brother.

"WAIT WHAT NO!" Henry yells.

"YES! HENRY SHO3ULD FUCKING DIE!" Floafa is salt. "I'LL FUCKIN DO3 IT 3YSELF IF YO3U WANT!"

"What the fuck." The villain bitch ask.

"What?" Floafa questions. "I have a swo3rd; I co3uld do3 it!"

"Do it then." The villain says.

"No don't. That's bad." Todoroki says.

"Yeah, no3 shit. It's 3urder." Floafa responds.

"But if you murder someone you will be kicked out of the school then arrested." Deku says.

"Shit." Floafa states. "What if I kill the3 and no3bo3dy kno3ws?"

"They will find out." Deku says.

"Ho3w?" Floafa asks.

"With the power of investigation." He says.

"Yeah, but what if I cover my tracks?" Floafa questions him.

"They will still find you." Todoroki says.

"Shit I killed, like, 13 peo3ple befo3re entering this scho3o3l." Floafa says, awkwardly.

"Well don't murder people!" Crystal yells.

"But what if I go3 to3 a secluded area with no3 video3 ca3eras o3r po3ssible witnesses and put duct tape o3ver the perso3n's 3o3uth, then stab the3 to3 death with an icicle, which wo3uld leave no3 fingerprints o3r DNA fo3r the3 to3 3atch?" Floafa cocks her head to the side.

"Are you gonna kill him or not?" The villain asks.

"No3no3no3. I'3 just asking what if I kill so33eo3ne and no3bo3dy finds o3ut? Will I still be kicked o3ut?"

"Well no but murder is still bad!" Deku yells.

"Yeah, but I do3n't really care." Floafa states.

"Ok. Then kill Henry." Crystal snarls.

"Well, I can't no3w!" Floafa puts her hands on her hips.

"And why's that?" Crystal growls.

"Well, because yo3u guys'll kno3w and that's bad." Floafa scoffs.

"I'3 go3nna have to3 develo3p a plan." She mutters under her breath.

"Are you going to kill him or not?!" The villain yells.

"Well I do3n't really want to3 get kicked o3ut so3 I guess I'3 no3t go3nna kill hi3…sadly." Floafa shrugs. "So3rry, Dude."

"Pussy." The villain says.

"I didn't 3ake the rules here." She responds.

"Fuck you." The villain leaves.

"Right back at yo3u." Floafa is salt.

"If you're really planning on killing someone, then you can just join the villains." Deku says.

"Ho3w is it evil to 3urder tho3ugh?" Floafa asks.

"IT'S AGAINST THE LAW!" Deku yells.

"Earth has shit laws then." Floafa scoffs. "I wo3uld've been able to3 kill hi3 in a heartbeat o3n Alternia."

"WhAT?" Deku asks, angery.

"Yo3u hu3ans are a bunch O3' pussies." Floafa states.

"But I'm not human-" Crystal dies.

"Yeah but yo3u helped 3e co333it a 3ass ho33icide." Floafa states. "Hu3ans are pussies who3 can't handle the truth."

Crystal went silent.

"You…killed people?" Deku asks Crystal.

"I 3ean it was 3ainly 3e." Floafa answers for Crystal. "I lo3ve watching the streets run red with the lo3w blo3o3d yo3u po3ssess."

Crystal begins growling.

"3y drea3 is to3 o3ne day live up to3 3y Ancesto3r's legacy!" Floafa yells, so excited. "TO3 CRUSH THE FILTHY PEASANTS BENEATH 3Y FO3O3T AND WATCH THE TO3WN BE PAINTED WITH THEIR BEAUTIFUL RAINBO3W BLO3O3DS!"

She begins laughing maniacally.

"No." Crystal snarls.

Floafa clears her throat, blushing. "O3r- o3r so33ething like that…"

Deku gets ready to kick ass.

"What are yo3u do3ing, Deku?" Floafa asks.

He punches Flof in face.

"O3W! 3O3THERFUCKER!" Floafa is angery. "WHY!?"

"YOU WERE _JUST_ SAYING THAT YOU WOULD KILL EVERYONE!" He yells.

"YO3U DIDN'T HAVE TO3 HIT 3E! THAT WAS RUDE!" Floafa salts.

"NO SHIT!" Deku yells.

Floafa gasps. "WATCH YO3UR PRO3FANITY, YO3UNG 3AN!"

"WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?!" He yells.

Floafa literally shoves a bar of soap in his mouth, putting him in a headlock. "NO3 SWEARING IN THIS **FUCKING** SCHO3O3L! NO3 SWEARING **EVER!** "

He tries to resist but she forces him to keep that damn soap in his mouth.

Crystal attacks Floafa, biting her arm.

Midnigg walks in. "Hello- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!"

They all stop fighting and just look at her.

"Hello3." Floafa says awkwardly, still holding Deku in a headlock.

Crystal is still biting her arm.

There is silence.

"Ho3w's yo3ur day go3ing?" Floafa asks Midnight, trying to make this less awkward.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Midnight asks.

"DEKU STARTED IT!" Floafa yells, letting him go and pointing to him.

"FUCK YOU!" He yells, spitting out the soap.

"DO3N'T 3AKE 3E PUT THAT SO3AP BACK IN THERE, YO3U LITTLE-" Floafa moms.

"GO TO YOUR DORMS! ALL THREE OF YOU!" Midnight yells.

Floafa groans, splapping Bakugo as she passes him.

Crystal leaves.

Floafa climbs through the broken window, dying on her bed.

She just doodles pictures of fruits and waits for the day to end.

At sometime around midnight she produces her own light to continue drawing.

Bakubitch climbs through the broken window, cutting himself on the broken glass.

"Ow. Fuck." He says.

Floafa sighs, slamming her book shut. "Why are yo3u here?"

"I wanted to visit you." He smiles.

Floafa throws her covers over herself, salty. "No3."

"Why not?" He asks.

"Go3 away." She stops glowing, not facing him.

"Oh. Ok." He begins leaving.

"Wait! O3ne last thing!" Floafa urges, sitting up.

"What?" He asks

She leans close to him and whispers. "I'3 breaking up with yo3u."

She gets back into bed and waits for death to consume her.

Bakugo leaves.

After 3 long, painful days Floafa returns to class like normal, not knowing how to tie a tie.

Floafa sits down in her desk, slamming her face against it.

Everyone sits down.

The teacher announces that everyone will get their hero costumes today.

"What about the people who are suspended?" Todoroki asks.

"They get their costumes after their suspension is over." The teacher explains.

Floafa is still dying inside.

"Oh. Ok." Todoroki says.

"Why do you even care, Todo?" Mina asks.

"Because he's in lo3ve with Crystal." Floafa states, not moving her head away from the surface of her desk.

"He is?" Mina gasps.

Floafa gives a thumbs up to Mina.

Mineta is concerned about Floafa **for once.** "Are you…okay?"

"No3!" Floafa responds, smiling.

"Are you sure about that?" He asks.

"…Yes?" Floafa is confused. "I'3 sure I'3 no3t o3kay?"

"K." He says.

"But-…never3ind." She blushes, looking down.

"M **mMMMmmmmm** TODOROKI IS KATY PERRY!" Mina yells.

"I seco3nd that no3tio3n." Floafa raises her hand.

The entire class nods in agreement except Dodoroki.

"Stop." Todo wheezes.

"Yo3u have ascended into3 co3tto3n candy." Floafa smiles.

"pEPPERMINT COTTON CANDY?!" Mina yells.

"Yeet." Floafa dabs. "So3 are we go3nna do3 shit with the co3stu3es o3r just co3ntinue yelling abo3ut pepper3ints?"

" YE S." Mina says.

"That didn't answer 3e." Floafa states.

"Y ES." The teeacher says.

Floafa just screams.

"Get outside." The teacher demands.

"Ass." Floafa states.

"No u." Mineta states.

"Please sto3p talking abo3ut 3y ass, 3ineta. I kno3w yo3u like it but no3t right no3w." Floafa snorts.

"Ew that's gay." He cringes.

"And yo3u like it." She smirks.

"SHUT UP!" An angry Bakugo yells.

"Eat 3y ass- wait." Floafa stops herself.

She gives an evil smile. "Yo3u can't."

"Oh…" He dies inside.

They abscond outside.

"Use quirk. Don't break your costume." Teacher die.

"Wait what?" Floafa is corn.

All the children have to put clothes on.

After that shit they're all back and just kinda looking at each other's costumes.

Floafa happily squishes Mineta's face. "Squishy grape."

"What are we supposed to do?" Mina asks.

"Ew don't touch me. I don't want your eBOLA." He salts.

"But yo3u're 3y li'l squishy grape." She hugs him.

"Stop touching me or I'll give you diabetes." He bloosh.

"It's wo3rth it." She smiles.

"I'll give you-"

She kisses him on the cheek. "Squishy grape."

"I'LL GIVE YOU CANCER!" He yells.

"Still wo3rth it~" She giggles.

Mina squirts acid.

TodOdorki does ice.

"MY BALLS ARE STICKY!" Mieta throws his balls at people.

"Yes I'3 aware." Floafa hugs him tighter.

"That's gay." Mina cringes.

"Sure. I'3 gay fo3r 3ineta." Floafa states.

"E W." Nina cringes **harder.**

"Fuck o3ff." Floafa flips her off.

"No u." Todord says.

Flof hugs Mineta defensively, murdering him slowly.

THw CLAsSS Ends

Everyone gets out of their costumes and absconds.

Floafa picks Mineta up bridal-style, carrying him to the next class.

"HELlO cLLASSs!" Midnight yells.

Floafa drops Mineta right next to his desk, sitting down at her own.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Midnight salts.

"CHU CCHU- WAIT THAT'S A TRAIN." Midnight yells.

"Wait what?" Floafa is confuse.

She writes ship names on board.

Todorystal and Floneta are among them.

Todo begins blooshing **hard.**

Mineta slams his face on his desk, bloosh.

Floafa's face fins wiggle happily/nervously.

"YEET! GO KiSs tHE PeRSoN YOu'rE SHIPPEd WiTH!" Midnug yells.

"Crystal's suspended!" Todoor blosh.

Floafa very happily and p **ass** ionately kisses Mineta.

"GO VISIT crYstAL THEn." Midjug says.

"Are we being graded on this?" Hard dude asks.

"YES!" Midhigh says.

"NOW GO TO the ROOOom cRusst is In." Mid is high.

Floafa woots.

Todo gets up and leaves.

Mineta screeches.

"K NoWw gO AmKE SurE TOdO ACTUALLT DoeS IT." Mid smiles.

Floafa salutes, leaving the room and taking Mineta.

Mina follows.

"Why are we doing this?" Mina asks Floafa.

"Because I want good grades." Floafa responds, holding Mineta's hand.

Todo stops walking. "Why are you following me?"

"Because we need to3 3ake sure yo3u fo3llo3w thro3ugh!" She yells, pumping both her and Mineta's fist in the air, still holding his hand.

Todo walks over to door.

Floafa laughs. "Hey, 3ineta?~"

"What?" He asks.

"Why do3n't yo3u ever visit 3e?~" She purrs.

"Because you're gAy." He says.

"To3night." She states.

"N o." He says, bloodsh.

"O3r I'll just visit yo3u~" Floafa smirks.

"No." He says, moar bloosh.

Todo is just staring at the door, not knowing what to do.

He just fucking kisses her with no warning or explanation.

Then he leaves.

Floafa is too close to Mineta for Mina or Todo's comfort.

Floafa kisses Mineta's cheek and Mina just yells. "EW!"

"O3h, gro3w up, 3ina." Floafa scoffs.

She leans close to Mineta and whispers. "If yo3u do3n't sho3w by 12:07 I'3 co33ing o3ver."

"Nein." He says.

"I'3 glad we've reached an understanding." Floafa lightly slaps him.

"AAAAAAAAA!" He yells.

~Tiem Septa for the ass has ended~

Floafa spartan kicks Crystal's door open. "I HAVE THE PO3WER O3F GO3D AND ANI3E O3N 3Y SIDE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"THANOS SNAP!" Crystal yells, startle.

"Haha yo3u're still **sus** penbeb." Floafa does Orange Justice.

"Get out." Crystal dies inside.

"Why sho3uld I?" Floafa asks, doing the default dance.

"No Fortnite allowed."Crystass says.

Floafa calls Henry with a dog whistle.

Henry just opens the window and climbs in. "I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT!"

"jESUS CHRIST!" Crystal yells.

"No3. That's Henry." Floafa responds.

"Oh- wAIT WHAT?" Crystal is confuse.

Floafa begins aggressively T-posing at Crystal.

Crystal is frightened.

Henry is now also T-posing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Crystal yells.

"Wait what ti3e is it?" Floafa asks.

"Ass." Henry says.

"That's no3t a ti3e, yo3u fucking giraffe." Floafa is salt.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOOooM!" Crystal yells.

"WHAT TI3E IS IIIITTTTT?!" Floafa yells.

"12:00!" Crystal is angery.

Floafa skidaddles. "SHIT!"

She dives onto her own bed, casually turning on the lights from literally almost across the room.

~I guess 7 mintures later~

After she got stood up she just kinda saunters outside, not wearing a fUCKING SHIRT BECAUSE iT'S fLOAFUCK.

She just kinda goes to Mineta's window and breaks the lock on it, climbing in. "Go3 co333it Ko3o3l-Aid."

"No u." He responds. "Get out."

"Eat 3y ass." She smiele.

"No." He says.

"I to3ld yo3u I was co33ing o3ver if yo3u didn't sho3w up by 12:07." Floafa states.

"I said no." He is angery.

"And I do3n't care." Floafa is salt.

"Oh." He says.

She sits on his bed.

"waIT wHY AREN'T YOU WEARiNG A SHIRT?!" He blood leakage from face.

"Why sho3uld I?" She asks.

"GAY!" He yells, trying to stop blod.

"That wasn't an explanatio3n. So3 I do3n't have to3 put a shirt o3n." She smirks.

"Get out!" He yells.

"No3." Floafa pulls him **really** close to her.

An angry Bakugo kicks the door open and yells. "PUT A SHIRT ON!"

Mineta shrieks, frightened.

Floafa just kinda shoves him out of the room. "Go3 co333it to3aster bath."

She slams the door, locking AND bOLTiNG it ShuT.

"Leave me ALOFNEw!" Mineta yells.

"Well, I can't o3pen the do3o3r no3w so3 I'3 no3t leaving." Floafa crosses her arms.

"FUCK YOU!" Mineta 7.

"I'3 sure yo3u'd like to3." Floafa snickers.

Mineta opens the window. "Get out."

Floafa bear hugs him. "No3!"

"Get. Out." He is angry.

"But I do3n't wannaaa!" She whines, hugging him tighter.

"GET OUT!" He yells.

"I'3 no3t leaving yo3u." She pouts. "I refuse."

"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!" Mineta yells.

"But yo3u're waaaar3." She frowns. "Can I pleeease stay?"

"I DON'T KNOW CAN YOU?" He yells.

"Yes. Yes I can." Floafa smiles, sitting back down on his bed. "And with that I will."

The teacher breaks the door down and yells. "GO BACK TO YOUR DORM, FLOAFA!"

Floafa is so startles her fucking wings just exist. "o3H 3Y FUCKING GO3D! WHERE DAFUQ DID YO3U CO33E FRO33?!"

"GO OR I'LL DRAG YOU THERE!" He yells.

"DRAG 3E THEN!" Floafa yells.

The teacher grabs her arm and drags her to room.

"WHEEE! AGAIN!" Floafa yells.

"No." The teacher is angery.

"Aw." Floafa frowns, entering her room.

The fucking broken window is making the room cold as balls.

~Dyatiem: Deku i finally non-suspenp~

Floafa gets up and just doesn't follow the dress code because fuck you.

She puts on some more pyjamas and just jumps out her window.

She meets up with the squad and strikes a pose. "Eatass."

"Oh." Deku says.

"O3h, hey." Floafa salutes Deku.

"Where's Crystal?" Dicku asks.

"Suspended until to33o3rro3w." Floafa smiles. "What's o3ur first class?"

"Why were you yelling about Fortnite last night?" Todoroki asks.

"Why were yo3u in the Girls' do3r3 last night?" Floafa asks. "What the fuck is o3ur first class?"

"Homeroom." Todoroki doesn't answer question.

"O3h." Floafa smiles at the sun. "And why were yo3u in the Girls' do3r3?"

"Do I have to answer?" He asks.

"Yes." Floafa dies.

"I was gonna visit Crystal." He says.

"To3 fuc?" She asks.

"NO!" He yells.

"Haha I go3t kicked o3ut o3f 3ineta's ro3o33 last night." Floafa says, gesturing to said grape.

"Fuck you." Mineta salt.

"I'3 sure yo3u'd like to3." Floafa responds, smiling.

"Ew no." Todoroki cringes.

Mineta just blosh salitly.

"EW." Mina cringes.

"I 3ean, it wasn't a no3." Floafa laughs, bloshh.

"IT WASN'T A YES EITHER!" Minet yells, vloosh hard.

"Judging by ho3w red yo3ur face is: I'd say it was a silent yes." Floafa laughs, beaming.

"AAAAAAAAA!" Mineta yells, blooshing **harder** than ever.

"Let's go3 to3 class!" Floafa smiles.

"K." Deku dies inside.

They all abscond, sitting in seat.

The teacher rolls in with a sleeping bag.

"Shit what?" Floafa is spooked.

"I can't get out help." He says.

Floafa just bursts out laughing, slamming her face on the desk. "I sWEar tO3 go3D!"

"How did you get stuck in a sleeping bag?" Mina laughs.

Floafa just can't fucking control herself.

"The zipper won't work." The teacher responds.

Floafa just kinda **destroys** the zipper. "O3o3ps."

"Thank you?" The teacher snaps.

Floafa just salutes and sits back down.

Todoroki just slams his face on his desk.

Floafa's gaze moves towards Mineta. "Hi."

"Floafa, get away from Mineta." The teacher says.

"Eat 3y assu." Floafa responds.

"OwO" Todo dies.

"Mineta, why won't you just admit you love me?" Floafa asks, snorting cocaine.

"You're. Gay." He says.

"So3 yo3u wo3n't admit yo3u lo3ve 3e because I'3 gay? Well, go3o3d news, I'3 no3t gay. Yo3u can ad3it it no3w." Floafa smiles.

"I don't love you either." He salts, blosh.

"Yo3u can't say that if yo3u blush whenever I bring it up~" Floafa smiles.

"Floafa leave him alone." The teeacher says.

"Eat. 3y. Ass." Floafa glares at him.

"Ono." The teacher gasps.

"Go away or I'll get a restraining order." Mineta salts.

"Yo3u wo3uldn't do3 that. Yo3u lo3ve 3e to3o3 3uch." Floafa laughs, kicking her feet up.

Bell ring OWo

The children all go to History ass.\

They take seat and wait for teeaachr.

Midnight runs in. "I'M GONNA FORCE SOME MORE CHILDREN TO LOVE EACHOTHER!"

Floafa cheers. "Yaay!"

"Oh no." Todo says.

"Shit." Mineta is salt.

"alRighT!" Fortnite yells. "Go fiND THe PERSoN YOU'RE ShIPpeD witH and HUg THEM."

Floafa smiles, literally just papping Mineta's head and realizing her mistake when she feels how **sticky** it is. "Fuck."

Mineta sighs, hugging her.

Floafa is about to fucking cry.

Mineta smiles.

Mina **gasps.** "Whoa! Was that a smile?!"

Mineta blooshes, hugging Floafa **harder.** "Shut up."

"Yo3u're hurting 3e." Floafa smiles, dying.

"Good." He says.

Floafa just kisses him on the cheek. "Whatever yo3u say."

Midnight is quietly shipping it in the background.

"ToDO, GO LoVEe CrYSTATO." Fortnite says.

"Crysto3do3?" Floafa asks.

"YES!" Midnight smiles.

"No." Todo bloosh.

"Mineta can you please let go of me I'm dying." Floafa states.

He lets go then does Orange Justice.

Floafa just screams, blushing intensely, and putting her face in her hands. "Sto3-o3-o3-o3p!"

Todo leaves the room.

Floafa just stops Mineta from sinning and wheezes. "Never again."

Todo just stands outside of the classroom.

Floafa is just holding Mineta's arms up, staring him in the eyes.

"Ew that's gay." Mina cringes.

Floafa passionately kisses Mineta's neck, causing his face to turn as bright red as a blueberry.

He quietly moans, alarming people who heard it.

"NO FUCKING IN CLASS!" Midnight yells.

"I tho3ught that was the po3int o3f this class." Floafa states, still **very** close to Mineta.

Todo finally leaves.

"NO FUCKING!" Midnug yells.

Floafa just continues her act, making Mineta moan **louder**.

The red haired bitch leaves. "NOPE."

Floafa leaves a hickey on Mineta's neck, smiling at her work.

She pats him on the head. "Go3o3d bo3y."

Mina nearly vomits. "EW."

"I'm not a dog." Mineta says.

"No3. But yo3u are 3y bitch." Floafa smirks.

"I'm not a bitch either." He says.

"That's no3t what I said. I said yo3u're **3y** bitch." She leans closer to him.

"Oh." Mineta blosh.

"I'll give yo3u that o3ppo3rtunity to3 visit 3e again~ O3nly if yo3u want." She whispers, smirking.

"No." He wheezes, bloooooosh.

"Alright, fine." She sighs. "But o3ne day yo3u'll take 3e up o3n it."

"K." He says.

The bell rings for launch.

All the choldden abscond to luch.

"E." Mina says.

"I seco3nd that." Floafa states.

There is a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Man, lunch just isn't the same without Crystal." Todorki says.

"Shut up abo3ut yo3ur crush o3n Crystal." Floafa states, drinking a juice box.

"SO." Deku states. "WhAt hAPPEned in clAss was…INTERESTING."

"Don't bring that up when we're eating, Deku." Mina says.

"Yo3u're a pussy." Floafa states, still drinking her grape juice.

 **Mineta is turned on by this.**

 _ **r.**_

Mina slams her head on the table.

Todo gets up and leaves. "Fuck that shit."

"What?" Floafa asks.

"Raging boner." Mineta wheezes.

"Wh- O3H!" Floafa blushes. "WHAT WHY?!"

"Juicebox." He says.

"O3h…" Floafa laughs. "Yo3u sure yo3u do3n't want to3 reco3nsider 3y o3ffer?~"

"Yeet." He says.

"Alrighty then." She laughs. "Have fun with that. We've still go3t 4 perio3ds left in the day."

Ten bell ring.

"o3KAY Let'S Go3!" Floafa gets up, yeeting her empty juice box.

The children go to- ENGLISH CLASS?! OWO?

"YEEEE!" The teacher yells.

"O3h no3." Floafa mutters.

Mineta is awkwardly covering his **massive erection**.

"I literally had no3 idea English class was a thing until no3w." Floafa states. "Huh."

"WELL NOW YOU KNOW!" The teacher yells.

"Yeah, no3 shit." Floafa responds.

"WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!" He yells.

"Watch yo3ur back." Floafa threatens.

"What?" He asks.

"Yo3u do3 **no3t** want to3 fuck with 3e." Floafa glares at him.

"Are you threatening me?" He asks.

"No3. I'3 warning yo3u." She states.

"Oh." He says.

"NOW GO TALK TO SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER TALKED TO BEFORE!" He yells.

Floafa approaches that red haired hard motherfucker and just says. "Hey, what the fuck is yo3ur na3e?"

"Kirishima." He smiles.

"…fuck that's lo3ng." Floafa states.

"You can just call me Kiri." He says.

"Alright, Siri." She gives a thumbs up.

"I'm not even mad." Kiri laughs.

"We're friends no3w." Floafa chuckles.

"Yes." He says.

"Wanna jo3in 3y cult?" Floafa asks, pointing to some friends.

"HELL YES! LET'S SUMMON SATAN!" He yells.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OVER THERE?!" Mineta yells.

"I'M JOINING THE CULT!" Kirishima smiles.

"yeAH!" Floafa pumps a fist in the air.

She kinda just brings Kiri over to the rest of the squad, who has gathered around the general area of Mineta's desk.

"Ho3w're ya ho3ldin up?" Floafa asks Mineta with a sympathetic smile on her face.

"Shut up." He bloosh.

"I'3…so3rry?" She says, confused.

"What?" Kiri is confuse.

"Mineta's hard-" Floafa begins.

Mineta just slaps a hand over her mouth, blosh. "SHUTUP!"

"Oh…OH." Kiri realises.

"Wait." Floafa just removes Mineta's hand. "Isn't yo3ur quirk getting hard o3r so33ething?"

"Yes!" Kiri's arm gets hard.

Floafa snorts. "O3h3yfuckinggo3d."

"Why are you laughing?" He asks.

"Yo3ur quirk…is **getting hard**." Floafa snickers.

"Is that a bad thing?" Kiri asks.

Floafa just sharply inhales and leaves it at that.

"…Wait." He says.

"There's also someone in the squad who's **suspended**." Todork states.

"Who?" Kiri asks.

"Shut the fuck up abo3ut yo3ur crush o3n Crystal fo3r two3 seco3nds, To3do3rk." Floafa salt.

"Who's Crystal?" Kiri asks.

"That wo3lf fuck." Floafa responds.

"Oh. Why's she suspended?" He asks.

"Because she bit 3e…wait, did yo3u really no3t no3tice that 3 kids were 3issing fo3r abo3ut 3 days?" Floafa asks.

"No. I noticed." He says.

Mineta looks like he's gonna explode.

"Mineta are yo3u fucking go3o3d? Like, do3 yo3u actually need help?' Floafa asks.

" **Help?** " Mineta asks. "What are you gonna do? Give me a fucking handjob?"

"Stop." Todo wheezes.

"I 3ean I was thinking o3f a blo3wjo3b but sure." Floafa snorts.

"S T O P." Todo repeats.

"Eat 3y assu." Floafa states.

"No." He says. "That's gay."

"Yeah, I'3 pretty **fucking** gay fo3r 3ineta." Floafa states.

"Oh." Todo says.

"Who are you gay for Todo?" Kiri asks.

"To3do3rk is gay fo3r Crystal." Floafa responds.

"Oh. Did they kiss yet?" He smirks.

"Yeah." Floafa gives a thumbs up.

"OwO." Deku states.

Floafa wraps an arm around Mineta's shoulders, sitting on the edge of his seat.

THeN BELL RiNg.

They all go to…Homeroom?

"AAAAAAAAAA!" Kiri yells.

"Cal3 the fuck do3wn, Siri." Floafa is spooked.

"Aw." Kiri frowns.

They all take their seats.

The deather is just done with life as he enters the room.

"…Fuck you all." The teacher says.

Floafa looks offended. "Well, fuck yo3u to3o3, Aizo3wo3."

"I'm already Tracer." Aizawa says. "Now go do your own thing."

Floafa touches Mineta's shoulder. "Yo3u o3kay?"

"No." He says.

Floafa gives a thumbs up. "Alright…do3 yo3u need help? "

"No." He blosh.

"Get away from the grape." Aizawa says.

Floafa just kisses Mineta in spite of Aizowo.

Aizawa is triggered by this.

Mineta is a red grape.

"Fuck you." Aizawa says.

Floafa flips him off in return.

He gasps. "Rude."

Floafa climbs onto Mineta's chair on her knees, facing him.

Kiri T poses.

Floafa pulls Mineta in for a **deep** kiss.

"Ew no." Kiri says.

Aizawa just leaves.

Mineta is internally screaming.

Floafa quietly whispers to Mineta. "Can I please sleep with yo3u?"

"No." He gays.

"Pretty pleeease?" She whispers, kissing his neck.

"No." He blosh.

"But yo3u're so3 war3." She whines. "And I'3 so3 co3ld."

"Then stay cold." He says.

Floafa frowns. "Yo3u're 3ean."

"K." He says.

"I tho3ught yo3u lo3ved 3ee." She nuzzles the crook of his neck.

"My Roblox girlfriend is better-" He wheezes.

Floafa smacks him. "Alright. No3w that yo3u're go3nna sto3p being a hardass."

"Oof." He says.

Floafa is upsetti spaghetti. "Why? Why wo3n't yo3u sleep with 3e?"

"Because I don't want to." He says.

"What's the har3 in it?" She is uspet.

"My virginity." He says.

"wHAT?!" Floafa is startled. "WHY THE FUCK WO3ULD THAT?!-"

"Fuck you that's why." He says.

"What do3 you even think I 3eant by 'sleeping with 3e'?" Floafa is trying to understand Mineta.

"Fucking?" He wheezes.

Floafa snorts. "O3f co3urse that's what yo3u were thinking."

"I 3eant 3o3re o3f, uh, literally sleeping…because I'3 co3ld blo3o3ded…and 3y windo3w bro3ken?" She bloosh.

"I'm not sleeping with you." He salt.

"Aw." Floafa is upset.

The bell rings for launch again beasue fucki.

"Have fun with yo3ur bo3ner." Floafa laughs, absconding for food.

"K." He dies inside.

~Lungh~

Everyone is quietly doing lunch.

Floafa is drinking more grape juice because honestly fuck Mineta.

Mina slams her face on the table.

"Please sto3p. I'3 go3nna spill my juice." Floafa says calmly.

Deku T poses. "I'm gonna say the N word."

"Sto3p it. Think abo3ut 3y juice." Floafa is sad.

"THAT'S RACIST! YOU CAN'T SAY THE N WORD!" Todo wheezes.

"I SAID I WANTED A GLASS O3F JUICE NO3T 'GAS THE JEWS'!" Floafa yells, still drinking her grape juice.

"NI-" Deku begins.

Todo throws a noodle at him.

Floafa just wants to die.

She approaches hoodie bitch.

"Hey, can we bring a friend to3 that party shit yo3u were talking abo3ut?" Floafa asks her, still holding her juice box.

"…Sure?" Hoodie motherfucker responds.

"Kthanksbye." Floofa walks back to the table and sits down, wrapping an arm around Mineta.

Kiri stands on the table. "I ALSO WILL SAY THE N WORD!"

Floafa is tired of existing.

"NO!" Mina pushes him off the table.

Floafa just sets up a karaoke machine right there and then. "Yeet."

"What are you doing?" Kiri asks.

"I'm doing karaoke." Floafa smiles.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because I want to3." Floafa laughs, standing up with the microphone.

Mineta is just scared.

She just ends up singing. "Hooked on a feeling" and gets applause after she finishes.

Then other people start doing karaoke too and it's just a thing.

"I don't love you." Mineta is dying inside. "Not anymore."

"Yo3u can't just say that after Histo3ry." Floafa smirks.

"Fuck you." He salts.

"Yo3u'd like that. Wo3uldn't yo3u?" Floafa smirks, kissing him.

"No." He salts.

"Co33e o3n! Be 3o3re jo3lly! It's al3o3st Christ3as!" Floafa puts her hands at the corners of his mouth and forces him to smile.

"It's November 25th?" He salty salts.

"Wait…iT IS!?" Floafa gasps, excited.

"I thought it was December." Todo states.

"mY WIGGLING DAY IS TOMORROW!" Floafa cheers.

"What is a wiggling day? Is it an episode of The Wiggles?" Todo asks.

"No3! It's the day I hatched!" Floafa yells. "It o3nly co33es once a sweep which is like…FOREVER!"

"Wait...hatched?" Mina asks.

"Yeah…hatched?" Floafa cocks her head. "Why?"

"Nevermind." Mina says.

"Why? Aren't hu3ans hatched to3o3?"

"No." Mina says.

"wHAT?!" Floafa is confused. "Ho3w- What?"

"3INETA?!" She looks at him for answers.

"What?" He asks.

"YO3U'RE A PERVERT. WHERE DO3 S3ALL HU3ANS CO33E FRO33?!"

"Their mother." He says.

"Wh- WHAT?!" Floafa is trying to understand. "HO3W DO3ES THAT EVEN WO3RK?!"

"Babies come out of their mother." He says.

"Waitwaitwait…HU3ANS CO33E FRO33 O3THER HU3ANS?!"

"But they only come out of girls." He says.

"I do3n't understand…is hu3an anato33y…different?"

"I guess so?" He says.

"Okayokay. So you are raised by people who share your genes…and you also emerge from those people?" Floafa asks.

"Unless you're adopted, yeah." He says.

"W H A T." Floafa is just confused. "SO3 HU3ANS WILL TAKE IN O3THER, UNWANTED HU3ANS?"

"Yes." He says.

"I do3n't understand…ho3w do3 yo3u even kno3w who3 yo3ur ancesto3rs are?" Floafa asks, trying so very hard to understand.

"I lived with them." He says.

"So3…no3 jo3urney o3r anything? They were just…there?" Floafa asks.

"Yeah. They are just there." He says.

"Shit. When yo3u hatch o3n alternia yo3u're sent o3ut into3 the wild and an ani3al takes care o3f yo3u fo3r pretty 3uch yo3ur entire life. O3r 3urdered for being defective." Floafa ponders.

"What the fuck?" He asks.

"Yeah. You just have to hope any animal actually wants you and that your blood isn't turned into paint from a grub."

"That's fucked up." He says.

"Yo3u also3 have to3 3ake yo3ur o3wn hive at a very yo3ung age and are fo3rced to3 live in that thing forever. And go3d fo3rbid yo3u're a sea-dweller, like 3e. DO3 YO3U HAVE ANY IDEA HO3W FUCKING HARD IT IS TO3 3AKE A HO3USE UNDERWATER?!"

"No." He says.

"And then there's actually gro3wing up. THEY EXPECT YO3U TO3 FUCK SO33EO3NE BY 13!"

"Oh." He says.

"No3 wo3nder yo3u hu3ans are all so3 relaxed." She hugs him, sighing.

"OwO." Kiri states.

"Hey, uh." Mineta bloosh. "About your…request to, uh…sleep together?"

Floafa looks at the grape, tired and intrigued.

"YoU reQUEstEd to slEeP wiTH hiM?!" Mina is shock.

"I'll…I'll consider it." His face is as red as a dinosaur.

"E W." Mina says.

"Not in _that_ way, you pervert." Mineta salt.

"sTILL! EW!" She says.

"Why are yo3u so3 i33ature?" Floafa asks.

"Why are you so gay?" Mina asks.

"Because 3ineta's ho3t." Floafa smirks.

"WEE." Mina yells.

"Weed." Floafa responds, still hugging Mineta.

"WEED!" Mina yells.

"I'3 so3 tired I co3uld just die." Floafa rests her head on Mineta's shoulder.

"Then die." Mineta salts.

"I'3 so3 happy that yo3u lo3ve 3e." Floafa laughs, kissing his cheek.

Mineta dies inside.

~Timeksiep to nightt~

Floafa is just changing into pyjamas when Mineta awkwardly tries to climb in through the **widnow** without cutting himself.

He cuts himself anyways.

"Are yo3u o3kay?" Floafa asks, rushing over.

"No." He fucking dies.

"Are yo3u bleeding?" She's scare.

"Yes." He says. "A lot."

"O3h no3. This is bad." Floafa is frighten.

She proceeds to medical care.

"Kill me." He says.

"Never." Floafa finfishes her medical work. "Why didn't yo3u just use the do3o3r?"

"Doors suck." He says.

Floafa laughs. "Well, I did the best I co3uld o3n yo3ur wo3und fo3r no3w."

"Hahaha I want to die." Grape says.

"I do3n't want yo3u to3 die." Floafa gives a thumbs up. "No3w…I just want to3 sleep…and-"

Mineta kisses her.

He dies on the inside.

Floafa smiles. "Yo3u're so3 frickin cute!"

"Shut up." He blosh.

Floafa kisses him on the forehead. "Yo3u're 3y precio3us little grape."

"They did surgery on a grape." Mineta wheezes.

"Yo3u're so3 cuute and precio3ussss!" Floafa is high.

"I'm not cute!" He pouts.

"Yo3u're the cutest." She smiles, her fins fluttering with joy. "And I lo3ve yo3u!~"

"Gay." He laughs.

"That 3akes yo3u gay to3o3." She beams, obviously tired.

"Oh no." He gasps.

They both begin laughing.

"We…should probably get to sleep?" Mineta asks, blushing.

"Yeah." Floafa smiles.

"After you." Mineta gestures to the bed.

Floafa chuckles, getting in. "What a gentle3an."

He gets in after, immediately hugging her.

She smiles. "Yo3u're very war3 and so3ft."

"G A Y." He wheezes.

"No3 u." Floafa laughs.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He yells.

"Shut up!" Floafa pie. "We need sleep!'

"NoBO!" He is high.

"I'3 GO3NNA DIDGERIDO3O3 YO3U IN THE ASS!" She yells.

"…T-Series." He cringes.

"Can we please just sleeeep?" Floafa asks, smiling.

"Yes." He wheezes.

Floafa hugs him **tight**. "Night~"

"Night, BITCH!" He DDIeS.

~Morming~

Floafa is just bouncing a rubber ball around the room.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Mineta fucking dies.

Floafa just silences him with her ball. "We sho3uld pro3bably get up and get to3 class."

"KKK." He says.

"I'3 go3nna fucking kill yo3u." She hops out of her window.

"Oof." He says.

Then the entire squad meets up (Including Crystalll)

"Ay." Floafa soups.

"No." Crystal dies.

"Ass lego3!" Floafa announces.

"Shut up." Crust growls.

"O3o3f, yo3u sandwich." Floafa laughs, clearly high.

"K." Crystal dies inside.

"Lettuce to3 go3 class!" Floafa isurnges.

"...Die." Crystal says.

"Why are yo3u so3 3ean to3 3eee?" Floafa sad.

"You succ." Crystal says.

"Yo3u swallo3w." Floafa respondo.

"No u." Crystal states.

"No3 Henry." Floafa smiles at the sun.

"Oof." Crystal says.

"Canwepleasejustgo3to3class?" Floafa asks.

"Yee." Crystal says.

The squado abscondo to classo.

Mr. Owo anin't there.

"Yo3 is he ever go3nna fuckin sho3w up?" Floafa asks.

"No. He's never gonna come." Crystal growls.

Floafa begins snickering.

"Why are you laughing?" Mina asks.

"He's never go3nna cu3." Floafa snorts.

Kiri slams his head on his desk. "NO."

"YES!" Floafa yells.

"Who the fuck?" Crystal glares at Kiri.

"This is Siri." Floafa states. "The newest **3eme** ber o3f the cult."

"Siri is a dumb name." Crystal laughs.

"No3t du3ber than Crystal." Floafa laughs **harder.**

"I fucking hate you." Crystal snarls.

"Alright." Floafa gives a thumbs up. "Yo3 did the teacher get stuck in his sleeping bag again o3r so33e shit where is he?"

"What?" Crystal asks.

"Shit. Siri, yo3u explain." Floafa passes it off.

"Aizawa got stuck in a sleeping bag." Kiri says.

"wHO?" Crystal is confused.

"Aizo3wo3 is the teacher." Floafa respondo.

"OwO?" Crystal asks.

"UwU." Todo states.

"Please sto3p yo3ur ro33ancing in class." Floafa salt.

"That shit's nasty." Mineta adds.

They fist bump.

"Says you!" Crystal growls.

"You don't even know." Deku cringles.

"I don't even know what?" Crystal asks.

"You don't wanna know." Mina cringes.

"Wait what?" Crystal sis confuse.

"o3H HEYSHIT IT'S 3Y WIGGLING DAY TO3DAY!" Floafa yells.

"You're adopted." Crystal blows Todoroki a party horn.

"Yeah." Floafa responds. "That do3esn't really wo3rk as a put-do3wn fo3r 3e."

"18 NAKED CREEPERS IN THE BIOMES OF MINECRAFT!" Crystal yells.

"S TO3P." Floafa yells.

The teacher finally shows his ass up.

"Sweet Satan. Were yo3u stuck in yo3ur sleeping bag again o3r so33efin?" Floafa asks.

"I wanna be Winston." He says.

"FUck." Floafa states.

"FUCK YOU I'M ALREADY WINSTON!" Crystal yells.

"Aw." Aizawa frowns.

"O3h shit." Floafa laughs. "O3h fuck."

"I guess I'll be Genji." Kiri says.

"S T O3 P." Floafa wheezes.

"I'm already Genji." Todo wheezes.

"Then I'll be Mcree." Kiri says.

"I already took Mcree." Todo says.

"I have an idea." Mina dies.

"What's your idea?" Kiri asks.

"You should be-" Mina begins.

"I'm not gonna be Mercy." Todo wheezes.

"Can we just start class?" Floafa asks, dying inside.

"Yes." Aizawa says. "Do nothing."

"Teacher o3f the year." Floafa gives a thumbs up.

"OwO." He states.

Floafa just appoaches te grapeo.

"Leave him alone, Floafa." Aizawa says.

"He lo3ves 3e tho3ugh." Floafa smiles.

"I don't care. Leave him alone." He says.

"Die." She responds, kissing Mineta.

"Don't make me go over there." Owo glares.

Floafa, just in spite of Mr. Owo, moans into the kiss.

Crystal is confused and scared.

"WHATTHEFUCKISHAPPENING?" Crystal is scare.

Desku wants to die. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Mr. Owo hits Floafa with a yardstick.

"O3w." Floafa states. "That's rude."

"No shit." He says.

Floafa is salt. "This is why no3bo3dy lo3ves yo3u."

Mr. Owo is hurt.

The hamster girl comes back, this time she has a red hoodie covered in small hamster decorations.

"So can I join your cult?" She says sweetly.

"No3. We just let Siri in." Floafa says, gesturing to Siri.

"Well I am gonna follow you anyways." Annoying hamster bitch says.

"Fuck. Alright." Floafa groans. "Go3 away."

"Also I read on online that gingers are 'Big Gay'. What's big gay?" She looks really confused.

Floafa wheezes. "GO3 AWAY!"

"Ok. Just also nice hair! Its looks good!" She then runs off.

"That's gay." Floafa wheezes harder. "Hey, Cake? Yo3 can we just, like, skip to3 to33o3rro3w o3r so33e shit because I do3n't really wanna deal with to3day."

Cake gives a thumbs up. "Yeet. But first birthday."

"Shit." Floafa states, repairing the fourth wall.

Bitch hamster is chasing after a hideous creature animal.

"I go3tta celebrate 3y wiggling dayyy!" Floafa yells.

"K. Go die." Crystal salts.

"Yo3u do3n't understand. If we celebrate 3y wiggling day we can just get to3 to33o3rro3w instantly." Floafa states. "We just basically need to3 do3 hu3an shit to3 celebrate that I'3 turning 7."

"Wait. 7?" Crystal asks.

"Yes. I'3 turning 7." Floafa responds. "Why?"

"7w7." Crystal states.

"7?" Mineta ass.

"YES. 7." Floafa yells.

"You're underage." He says.

"What?" Floafa asks. "7 is underage? FO3R WHAT?"

"Relationships." He states.

"But yo3u're suppo3sed to3 fuck so33eo3ne by 6- WHAT?!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" He yells.

"O3N 3Y PLANET AT 6 SWEEPS O3F AGE YO3U'RE SUPPO3SED TO3 HAVE FILLED A BUCKET WITH SO33EO3NE O3R YO3U **DIE**." Floafa yells.

"WELL WE'RE NOT ON YOUR FUCKING PLANET!" He yells.

"Yo3u hu3ans are so3 weird." Floafa shakes her head. "6 Sweeps is a to3tally reaso3nable age to3 fuck!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A SWEEP?!" He yells.

"WAIT. HO3W DO3 YO3U 3EASURE AGE?" Floafa yells in response.

"YEARS!" He yells.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YEARS?!" Floafa is confues.

"365 DAYS!" He yells.

"O3H 3Y GO3D WE'VE BEEN ARGUING ABO3UT DIFFERENT TI3E 3EASURE3ENTS!" Floafa yells. "THERE ARE 783 DAYS IN A SWEEP!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mineta yells.

"SO3 I'3 15!" Floafa yells. "AND YO3U'RE FO3RCED TO3 PAIL AT 13!"

"Can we change the subject?" Deku asks.

Floafa addresses the camera.

~Timeskip to next day I guess~

The squado is talking and then they remember hamster bitch's party shit.

Floafa grabs Mineta's arm and absconds.

Crystal steals Todork's ass and follows.

They arrive at the shit with their friends.

"Ay. We bro3ught friends." Floafa salutes, walking in with her sex slave Mineta.

"OwO." Crystal states.

"That's not what I meant by friends-" Hamster bitch begins.

"Shut up o3r I'll crucify yo3ur balls." Floafa salts.

She is proudly wearing a reindeer onesie with a little tail and everything.

Crystal is wearing a Haku onesie.

Mineta is wearing grape themed pyjamas, and his arm is being murdered by Floafa.

Todo is wearing fire and ice pyjamas.

Everyone sits down together and just kinda looks at who's already there.

"Sooo what now?" Crystal asks.

"I have a nice pair o3f dice." Floafa shrugs.

"You have a nice pair of something else too." Mineta wheezes.

"Stop." Mina wheezes.

Floafa snorts. "O3h3ygo3d."

"So are we going to do something or are we just gonna sit here?" Crystal asks.

"I'3 telling yo3u I have a pair of dice and you can do so much weird shit with a pair of dice." Floafa states, holding out the dice.

"Like what?" Crystal asks.

Floafa hands the rulebook for a game to Crystal. " **That** kind o3f weird shit."

"Nononononono." She closes the book.

"What?" Mineta ass.

Floafa hands the book to him.

"YES!" He yells, blosh.

"What game are we gonna play?" Todo asks.

Floafa gives copies to everyone.

"Why?" Todo's face is cuc.

"Because I kno3w yo3u want to3." Floafa laughs. "With yo3ur **huge** crush o3n Crystal and all."

"Can't we just play another game?" Mina asks.

"Truth o3r dare?" Floafa suggests.

"Sure?" Mina says.

Floafa and Mineta exchange looks.

"Ono." Crystal says.

"Who3's go3nna go3 first?" Floafa asks.

"You go first." Mina says.

Floafa locks eyes with Mineta. "Truth o3r Dare?"

"TRruth." He dies.

"When was a ti3e yo3u were so3 turned o3n yo3u co3uldn't stand it?" Floafa asks, blooshin.

"JUICEBOX!" He yells.

Floafa bursts out laughing, covering her face with part of her onesie. "NO3!"

"It's yo3ur turn…" She mutters, blushing.

Mineta is bloosh. "Todo. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Todo says.

"Someone feeds you M&Ms or other small chocolate candy and you have to say, "Thank you, Daddy," after each one." Mineta snickers.

Crystal begins laughing so hard she cries.

Literally everyone with a sense of humor is laughing.

Todo blushes. "Who's gonna-"

"CRYSTAL!" Floafa yells.

"Oh shit oh fuck." Crystal says.

Floafa throws a bag of M&Ms at Crystal. "Nut."

She just kinda shoves one in his mouth.

"Thank you… **daddy**." Todo cringes, blosh.

Crystal nearly vomits.

Floafa is filming this.

"I fucking hate you, Floafa." Crystal growls.

Floafa and Mineta fist bump.

After about 5 M&Ms Crystal just shoves the bag in Todo's mouth.

"Thank you, Daddy." He dies inside, his voice muffled by the bag.

Floafa cuts off her filming. "YES!"

"Mina, truth or dare?" Todo asks.

"Truth." Mina responds, frighten by the last dare.

"Who do you like?" He asks.

"Myself." Mina says.

Floafa claps.

"Floafag, truth or dare?" Mina asks.

"Truth." Floafa smiles.

"Are you Tracer in disguise?" She asks.

"Yes-" Floafa responds.

"hOLY SHIT YOU WERE TRACER THIS ENTIRE TIME?!" Mina yells.

"I had to3 keep 3y identity a secret." Floafa strikes a pose

"OH!" Mina yells.

"3INETA! TURTLE O3R DARE?!" Floafa yells.

"DARE!" He yells.

"I dare yo3u to3…" Floafa smirks, pausing for dramatic effect.

"Yes?" Mineta excite.

"Call 3y 3o33 and tell her why yo3u lo3ve 3e." Floafa laughs, pulling out a phone.

"But she isn't your real mom." Crystal says.

"Yeah, but fuck o3ff." Floafa responds.

Mineta's hopes are dreams have been dashed.

He calls Luna.

Luna: Hello?

Mineta: I LOVE FLOAFA!

Luna: What?

Mineta: I- I LOVE FLOAFA BECAUSE-

Luna: YOU WHAT?!

*Background laughter*

Mineta: I LOVE FLOAFA BECAUSE SHE'S HOT AND- AND STUFF!

Luna: IS THIS A FUCKING PRANK?!

Floafa *Background*: Do3es 3o33 really think no3bo3dy wo3uld lo3ve 3e?

Crystal *Background*: Yes.

Mineta: I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I LOVE FLOAFA BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY HOT AND COOL AND OTHER STUFF LIKE THAT!

*Luna hangs up*

Everyone is laughing their asses off while Mineta just blushes.

"I'3 so3rry, 3ineta." Floafa laughs, hugging him.

"Shut up." He blushes, hugging back.

"CRYSTAL! TRUTH OR DARE!" He yelsldl,

"Dare?" Crystal says.

"Let Todoroki do whatever he wants for two minutes with your phone." Mineta smiles.

"Fine…" She hands Todo her phone.

He immediately begins fucking with messages.

Todoroki: Hey there did you know I'm secretly a cow?

Henry: Yes. I knew that since day 1.

Todoroki: Did you know you're gay?

Henry: Yeet *Does Orange Justice*

Todoroki: I found a bacon strip in your sock last night, Henry.

Todoroki: What were you doing with that bacon strip, Henry?

Henry: You don't need to know that.

Todoroki: What if I told you you got fucked by a toothbrush at midnight?

Todoroki: By a pigeon.

Henry: I'd tell you to stop ssnorting crack.

Todoroki: I really wanna fuck Todorokthy6j7rgthy6j77k8udtynh

Henry: You wanna fuck who?

Todoroki: TODOROKI!

Floafa: yeES

Todoroki: NO

Henry: Wtf?

Floafa: EAT MY ASSU!

Henry: Floafa, get off Crystal's phone.

Todoroki: I'm not Floafa!

Henry: Oh. Who are you then? OwO?

Todoroki: SHIT I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT!

Floafa is fighting with Todo.

Then a message comes in from Crystal's dad.

Floafa gazes over Todo's shoulder as he writes to Crystal's dad.

Todoroki: Yee yee yee you already know who it is. It's ya boi fuck me up the ass.

Tyler: Crystal. Lay off the crack, ok?

Todoroki: Henry is masturbating with bacon.

Tyler: I already knew that.

Todoroki: I really want Todoroki's ass

Tyler: Who? You want who's ass?

Todoroki: This hot and cold kid at my school.

Floafa: MM HE TASTy

Tyler: Wow.

Floafa: HE WILL BARE MY CHILDREN

Tyler: What?

Todoroki: Todoroki will bare my children.

Tyler: But you're underage.

Todoroki: IT DOESn'T FUCKING MATTER, DAD.

Tyler: WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!

Floafa: YES I'M GONNA GET THE SEX ON TONITE

Tyler: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Todoroki: I'll use protection!

Tyler: Still NO.

Floafa: YOU're nOT MY DAD

Tyler: Crystal, are you ok?

Floafa: NO! I'M SORE FROM ALL THE FUCKINEGRHTJY67KTUR RJ6JBR7K67VJ5EJ

Tyler: WHAT?!

Crystal: HELP I'M BEING SLANDERED!

Floafa: MMT ODOROKI dAMn

Todoroki: HOT

Tyler: ...

Floafa: I'M HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX IN SOMEONE ELSE'S DORM ROOM TONIGHT

Tyler: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Mineta: EAT MY ASS

Tyler: BITCH THAT'S GAY!

Todoroki: IT'S GETTING KINKY WE'RE USING

Floafa: PEPPERMInTS

Tyler: Jesus Christ.

Floafa: AND CHERRY JELL-O

Floafa: HIGHLY MICROWAVED BEATS HEADPHONES

Tyler: Floafa no.

Floafa: Shit how did you know?

Tyler: You say gay shit.

Floafa: Most of it wasn't me though it was Todoroki

Crystal: TWO MINUTES IS UP THANK THE LORD!

They resume their game like normal.

Hamster bitch rings a cow bell "I HAVE CAKE, 11 DIFFERENT TYPES OF PIE AND 10 DIFFERENT TYPES OF ICE CREAM AT MY TABLE! COME FOR DESSERT!"

She wears dino hamster onesies.

She walks over to Floafa "Can I join your cult now?"

"When I lo3se 3y virginity." Floafa laughs.

"You will never lose your virginity." Crystal says.

"That can be arranged." Mineta responds to Floafa.

Floafa blushes, laughing. "O3h 3y Go3d."

"Tododdodo, truth or dare?" Crystal asks.

"Dare." He responds.

"What's 'virginity'?" Hamster bitch is confused and Canary is retarded.

"Basically when I fuck 3ineta yo3u can jo3in. Which will be to3night if yo3u allo3w it~" Floafa responds.

"What do you mean by 'bad word for fudge'. Isn't that just a mean word?" Hamster bitch.

"No3. It 3eans…sex?" Floafa is confused by her confusion.

"NOPE NOPE NOPE!" An older boy comes running in screaming.

"Let us fuck o3r yo3u can't jo3in the cult." Floafa smirks, pulling Mineta close.

"I WANT TO JOIN SO DO WHATEVER!" Hamser bich yell.  
"SIS! WHHYYYYYYY!" Brother hamster is upset.

"WHO3A WHERE THE FUCK DID HE CO33E FRO33?!" Floafa is alarmed by the stranger.

"Talk to your hand like you're making a game plan to sleep with someone else who is in the room." Crystal dares Tododo.

"Brother leave my dorm and get a life. Also get some hamsters. I like hamsters." Hansetr bitch is sus.

"I know sis. You never shut up abou-" Brother hamster asks.

"DEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY ISSUES LATER I'M TRYNA GET LAID!" Mineta yells

Floafa just dies of embarrassment.

"Room to the left." Hamster bitch says calmly.

Brother hamster just leaves.

"Who should I…plan for?" Todoroki blooshes.

"Crystal." Floafa laughs.

He looks at his hand. "oH BOY!"

"FirST I'M Gonna…uh…kiSs hEr?" He tries to articulate love.

"CAN I HAVE A TURN?!" Hamster girl squeals.

"And tHEn I'm GonNA seX?" Todoroki is not okay.

Floafa begins clapping. "Yeet."  
"MY PARTY SO I AM GONNA GO!" Hamster bich yells.

"FINE! HAMSTER BITCH TRUTH OR DARE?!" Todo is angry.

"My name's Kala…" Hamster bitch sigh.

"HAMSTER BITCH TRUTH OR DARE?!" HE repeats.

"Hey, 3ineta~ Guess what?~" Floafa whispers to Mineta, purring.

"W-What?" Mineta bloosh.

"I can stro3ke yo3ur ego3 and yo3ur co3ck~" Floafa whispers, gingerly touching his crotch.

 _ **r**_

"Truth!" Ham fuck redpondo.

"WhO do YOu liKE?!" Todo yells.

Hamster bitch rUNS.

"Shit…" Todo is angeryrg. "uH…FLOAFUCK TRUCK OR DARE?!"

"Dare." She responds, waaaay too close to Mineta.

"yOU HAVE TO SIT ON MINETA'S LAP FOR THE NEXT 5 TURNS BUT YOU CAN'T DO OR SAY ANYTHING ROMANTIC/SEXUAL UNLESS DARED!" Todo is disgrust.

"Alright. 3ineta, truth o3r dare?" She asks, sitting on his lap.

"D-Dare." He blooshes.

"Yo3u have to3 wear handcuffs fo3r the rest o3f the ga3e." She smirks, holding them up.

Mineta smiles, blushing. "Alright!"

As Floafa is cuffing him he states. "Crystal. Truth or dare?"

"Truth." She says.

"What? Are yo3u scared o3f the daaares?" Floafa asks.

"Yes." She says.

"That's cause yo3u're a **little bitch**." Floafa is too close for comfort.

Crystal growls at her.

"Do you love Todoroki?" Mineta manages to get out, currently being stimulated by Floafa.

"Yee." She says.

"Peepreremint. Truth or dare?" Crystal asks.

"DARE!" He respondo, still not scared.

"Trade clothes with your partner." Crys die.

"Are you my partner?" He asks.

"I don't know. Am I?" Crystal asks.

"Yes." Floafa responds to them.

"K." Cystral dies inside.

They proceed to swap the clothes.

"Alright. Todoroki, you suck ass at this so I'm gonna take over." Mina sahys.

"K." Todo says.

Mina looks around at everyone and tries to decide who to ask. "mINETA!"

Mineta is dying inside.

"TruthT ORd ARE!?" Mina is high.

"TRUTH!" He yells, dyiiing.

"What's the most embarrassing time you've gotten turned on?" Mina laughs.

"RIGHT NOW!" He yells, blushing furiously.

Floafa laughs. "Well, yo3u have to3 wait until the party ga3es are o3ver~"

"TRUTH OR DARE, FLOAFA!" He yells, his face as red as a grape.

"Dare~" She coos.

"I'm gonna need to be uncuffed for this." He laughs.

She calmly uncuffs him.

"Now. Call a friend while I give you…pleasure." Mineta smirks.

"Shit. I'3 go3nna video3 call Deku." Floafa laughs.

Crystal goes over to be in the video call.

Floafa rangs.

"HELLO!" DeKu yells.

"H-HI!" Floafa yells back.

Mineta kisses her…you don't wanna know.

"OWO." Deku says.

Floafa's face turns bright violet. "Ngh!~"

"WHat?" Deku asks.

"S-Shit!~" Floafa is trying to keep her cool. "Why is this so3… **HARD?!~** "

"OwO XD." Crystal states.

"Nghaaa!~" Floafa moans, her face turning a deeper violet.

"What the fuck?!" Deku ass, concorned.

Mineta proceeds to undo buttons on her onesie.

"WHY IS CRYSTAL WEARING TODOROKI'S Pasjsdjaszm.

"BeCause they're fUCKING!~" Floafa responds, being stimulated once more.

"wE ARE NOT!" Crystal yells.

"But yo3u want to3 be." Floafa laughs.

"No." She blosh.

"Yes-" Todoroki begins. "WAIT SHIT."

"So3o3o3~ Deku!" Floafa is tryyying to stop her moaning.

"Yes?" Deku asks.

"H-Ho3w's it go3ing?" Her face descends into a violet not previously known to mankind.

"I'm dying inside." He says.

"THAT'SLO3VELY." Floafa is using all her might to not moan anymore.

Mina is just laughing in the background.

Mineta takes a moment to realize how weird troll anatomy is.

"What the fuck is happening?" Deku asks.

Floafa just moans as Mineta…I'M NOT SAYING THAT NOTHANKS NOT IN THIS CRISHTEN HOUSHEHOWLD.

"K bye." Deku hangs up.

Floafa buttons her onesie back up, blooooshing.

"ALRIGHT! CRYSTALTRUTHO3RDARE?!" Floafa yells, still bloosh.

"Dare." Cryst says.

"Kiss yo3ur way fro33 To3do3ro3ki's neck do3wn to3 his…yo3u get the idea." Floafa laughs, sitting back on Mineta's lap.

Crystsa is dyig inside. "UHHH BURGER?"

Crystal walks over to Todo. "Do I have to?"

"YEs." Floafa yells. "I WAS JU3ST SEXUALLY STI3ULATED O3N A VIDEO3 CALL WITH DEKU!"

"Fine." She begins kissing the Todo.

Todo blosh.

E Kepps Kissled Todo BirD.

She stops once she's at his dICK.

"tODO TURTH OR DARR?"

"T-truth." He blosh.

"What's a deep dark secret of yours?" Crysaslsl aks.

"My mom dumped boiling hot water on my eye." He says.

"o3H!" Floafa yells. "HO3W LO3VELY."

Mina finally speaks up since she died. "MiNetA truTh or Darrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

"Dare." Mineta responds.

"I dare you to choose a partner to watch a porno with. But it's muted so you have to dub it yourselves." Mina laughs evilly.

"aND IT WORKS BECAUSE **I HAVE A BONER**." Mineta is dying inside.

Floafa giggles. "Yo3u're cute. Y'kno3w that?"

"fUCK OfF." He bloooosg.

Floafa smiles at him, lightly caressing his cheek.

"You ArE MY pArTNER FOr tHIS!" He yells, blushin harder.

He throws her onto a bed, getting on top of her.

Mina turns on the porno aT FULL BLAST. "WHO EVEN PUTS THE VOLUME UP THIS HIGH?!"

They all struggle to turn the volume down.

The two purple ones proceed to poorly dub the porno, EvEN the seX sCenEs.

Little did everyone else know…all the noises were real ;)))))

"OwO." Todo says.

"DESPACITO3!~" Floafa yells.

After the porno is over Mineta just says, breath taken. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Floafa smiles, getting off Hamster bitch's bed

"Sing ME A SERENADE!" He yells.

Floafa proceeds to sing "Hold on, we're going home."

Hamster bitch returns just before the song. "What just happened?"

"Beauty." Floafa responds. "Beauty just happened."

"wELL IT'S FAR PAST MIDNIGHT SO WE NEED TO SLEEP!" Hamster bitch is just done.

"OWO." Mina dies.

Floafa hugs Mineta close to her. "That's fine."

Floafa finally deals with Mineta's **raging boner**.

"So3~" Floafa coos. "Wanna sleep to3gether to3night?~"

"No." He says.

"3ineta. I literally _**just**_ gave yo3u a handjo3b. The least yo3u co3uld do3 in return is sleep next to3 3e." She chuckles.

"No." He repeats.

"Alright." Floafa shrugs, upsetti spaghetti on the inside.

Floafa gets in an open sleeping bag because it's fucking Floafa.

She zips it up and caterpillar wiggles towards Mineta.

"Hello3." She smiles, a caterpillar.

Mineta snickers. "What the fuck?"

"SINCE I STILL NEED YOU TWO TO FORANTICTAE sO I CAN GET IN. EVERYONE CHOOSE A SLEEPING PARTNER!" Hamster bitch Kala screeches

"Are yo3u high?" Floafa asks her.

People are deciding their partners.

"No3w yo3u're fo3rced to3 sleep with 3e, 3ineta!~" Floafa chirps happily.

"Who says you're gonna be my partner?" Mineta asks.

"Everyo3ne else already has a partner." Floafa smiles.

"Besides. Yo3u lo3ve 3e _to3o3_ 3uch to3 cho3o3se anyo3ne else!~" She continues, kissing him on the cheek.

He blushes, not responding to that. "Let's just get this over with."

Crusty is dying inside.

Floafa stares Mineta in the eyes while aggressively pouring a glass of grape juice.

"Floafa no." Crystal says.

Floafa aggressively chugs all the juice.

"Floafa no!" Crysyesad yells.

Floafa moves close to Mineta and whispers "Fuck yo3u."

"Ew gay." Mina says.

Mineta hugs Floafa. "Stop it. Get some help."

"YOU TWO BETTER FORNICATE!" Hamster bitch yells.

"That won't be a problem." Mineta smirk.

"If I have eno3ugh to3 drink." Floafa laughs.

"DIE." Crystal says.

"You're just jealous." Mineta high.

"Ew no." She is disgrust.

Floafa just becomes a caterpillar once more.

"I wanna be Tracer." Crystal says.

"Fuck yo3u I'3 Tracer." Floafa responds.

"What about Widowmaker?" Crystal asks.

"3r. Stark I do3n't feel so3 go3o3d." Floafa respondo.

"...I'm already Widowmaker." Mina wheezes.

"Windo3w 3aker." Floafa chuckles.

"WINDOW MARKER!" Todo yells.

"ShLEeeEeP!" Hamstrr bitch yells.

"SHUT UUP!" To-do list yells.

Floafa pupates from her sleeping bag. "Why do3n't _**yo3u**_ shut up, To3-do3 list."

"sNIFF!" Crystal yells.

Floafa sharply inhales. "EAT 3Y ASSU!"

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Crystal yells.

"sAUSAGE STEALER!" Floafa is _**ß**_.

"wHAT THE FUCK IS A SAUSAGE STEALER?!" Todo yells.

Floafa sips on grape juice. " _ **Why are grapes so3 fuckin tasty?**_ "

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Todo yells.

"Answer 3e." Floafa is salt.

"BItcH I DON'T KNOW!" Todo is angery.

"3ineta. Why are grapes so3 tasty?" Floafa asks, looking into her juice.

She just sips it more.

"MmMM tHAT'S HOT." Mineta dies.

Floafa does a spit take. "O3H 3Y FUCKING GO3D!"

"Stop." Crystal wheezes.

Hamster bitch is screaming.

"Jesus. Fine we'll sleep." Floafa is salt.

"NO!" Crystl dies.

" _I'll_ sleep." Floafa corrects herself.

"BUT YOU AND MINETA NEED TO FIRNICTITACTE." Kala is saltttttttttttttT.

"DIE!" Crystal dies.

~Morming tiiime~

Crystal T poses. "I DIDN'T SLEEP!"

Floafa is just too tired to care.

She is hugging the grape boi.

"Bitch lasagna." Crystal kicks Flof.

Floafa just ignores her, still cuddling the grape.

Crystal kicks the grape.

"Ho3w fucking dare yo3u." Floafa hugs grape tighter.

"OwO." Crystal states.

"I lo3ve this grape do3n't yo3u dare to3uch it." Floafa protecc.

"THEY DID SURGERY ON A GRAPE!" Crystal yells.

"Do3n't har3 3y grape o3r I'll har3 yo3ur face." Floafa is protecc.

"Go ahead, PUSSY." CrysT dies inside.

Floafa patiently waits.

Crystal kicks grape again.

Floafa pulls out a chainsaw. "ALRIGHT! IT'S CLEAR YO3U WANT TO3 DIE!"

Crystal kicks Floafuck.

Floafa chainsaw.

Crystal kicks the grape again but **harder**.

Floafa attempts to murder. "I'3 GO3NNA FUCKIN-"

They both stop what they're doing.

"sHIT WE HAVE TO3 VISIT PARENT." Floafa yells.

"N O!" Todo yells.

Floafa just steals Mineta. "LEGO3!"

"CaN I GO tOO?" TDIOoSDF asks.

"YEAH, YO3U'RE CO33ING." Floafa responds, absconding.

"Oof." Crystal says.

They go to house and Floafa murders door.

Luna opens door. "WAht?"

"FBI O3PEN UP!" Floafa rushes inside with her grape.

"WHO ARE THEY?" Luna ask.

"ThIS IS 3Y GRAPE." Floafa drops Mineta on couch.

"K. WHOS S the RED aND wHiTRE Kid?" Luna is high.

"THE PEPPERMINT IS CRYSTAL'S FUCK BUDDY." Floafa is dying.

Crystal T poses on the kitchen counter.

"I regret coming here." Mineta states.

"Wait aren't you that motherfucker who prank called me last night?" Luna salt.

Mineta bloosh, hugging Floafa close. "Protect me."

"KICK HIS ASS!" Crystal yells.

Floafa hugs grape. "I pro3tecc."

"BITCH NO." Tyler runs in.

Floafa squeezes Mi? ﾸﾏeta ? ﾸﾏ ?.

"WHO IS THIS BitCH?" Tyler ? ﾸﾏ.

"Your daughter?" Floafa suggests.

Crystal stubs her toe. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Tyler points at Todo. "Who?"

"To3do3ro3ki." Floafa states.

Tyler narrows his eyes.

Floafa snorts.

"So yoU're thE one WHo'S FUCKINg My dAUGhTEr?" tyler asks.

"Actually. We're the o3nly o3nes who3 have fucked." Floafa hugs grape.

"You are a disgrace, Floafa." Luna shakes her head.

"Thanks, dad." Floafa laughs.

"I'M NOT YOUR DAD!" Luna yells.

Mineta just screams, blooosh.

"SHUT UP." Crystal yells at grape.

"NO U." Mineta salt.

Tyler gets a gun.

Floafa protecc her grape.

Tyler points gun to grape.

"STO3P." Floafa is upsetti spaghetti. "Do3n't har3 3y grape!"

He points gun at peppermint.

Floafuck puts a red light on her nose and yells "I'3 RUDO3LPH!"

Tyler shoots floor.

" **rUDOLPH WITH THAT ASS SO TIGHT!** " Mineta grabs her aSS. " **WON'T YOU RIDE MY FACE TONIGHT?!** "

"Stop." Luna says.

Floafa's face is bright violet. "3INETA I SWEAR."

Tyler kicks Mineta.

"Ow." Mineta states.

"Oof." Crystal states.

Floafa snorts. "I'3 go3nna fuckin die."

Crystal goes to her room.

"So3…" Floafa says awkwardly.

"What?" Luna is salty.

"wELL, I THINK WE'VE O3VERSTAYED O3UR WELCO33E." Floafa steals Mineta, leaving the house.

TODo DrAGsS CrSYt OUt Of Room.

They all go back to the school.

"Peppermint." Crust whezes.

Floafa kicks a garbage can. "Do3n't cho3ke o3n a pepper3int."

Crystal chokes on a peppermint.

"Yo3u bitch." Floafa narrows her eyes.

"The cold never bothered me anyway-" Crystal dies.

Floafa wheezes. "No3."

"Yes." Crystal says.

"I can't wAIT FO3R CHRIST3AS!" Floafa yells.

"Yeet." Crystal states.

"Die." G **rape** says.

Floafa hugs him. "Yo3u're perfect."

"No he isn't." Crust salts.

"Yo3u're perfect _to3 3e_." Floafa corrects herself.

"Bitch he ugly." Todo states.

Floafa just glares at Todoroki.

He glares back. "Fight me bitch."

"I just 3ight." She protecc her grape.

Grape bloosh.

"I'll kick your ass." Todo says.

"I'll snap yo3u in half like the candy cane 3o3therfucker yo3u are." Floafa is protection.

"I'd like to see you try." Todo salts.

Floafa picks up her grape.

"Kinky dong." Crystal states.

Floafa smirks, staying silent.

"Wanna sprite cranberry?" Crystal wheezes.

"When's it go3nna be Christ3as?" Floafa asks.

"Tomorrow?" Mineta says.

"To33o3rro3w is No3v 28th, yo3u **nut.** " Floafa responds.

"Bitch I totally knew that." He says, bloosh.

~tiemskep to Dec 18th (Cake's birthday)~

"E." Mineta states.

Floafa laughs, applying winter gear.

Crust doesn't put winter gear on and just runs outside.

"O3h heck." Floafa states.

"YEET!" Todo jumps out of the window.

Floafa doesn't want to go outside.

Crystal runs back in and throws snow at Floafa.

"YO3U ASS!" Floafa is salt. "I'3 CO3LD-BLO3O3DED!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Crystal runs back outside.

Floafa is salt so she follows, taking Mineta.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Crystal yells.

Floafa aggressively chucks a snowball at Crystal.

Crystal fucking dies. "OOF."

Floafa is salty. "Die."

Crystal throws more snow at her. "No."

Floafa sighs. "I33a kill-"

Todo throws snow and ice at flof. "YEET!"

Floafa just throws ice at Todo.

Just a huge thing of ice.

Todo fuckin dead.

"I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Crystal yells.

Mineta is just standing there, watching.

Floafa throws a snowball at him. "WE ACCEPT YO3U! WE ACCEPT YO3U! O3NE O3F US! O3NE O3F US!"

"Oh." He says.

"Jo3in the sno3wball fight!" Floafa yells happily.

"Why?" He asks.

Floafa 2hispērs something to him. "If yo3u do3 I'll give yo3u a blo3wjo3b."

He blushes, perking up.

He throws snowballs at her.

She laughs, shielding herself. "Is that a yes?"

"yOU BET!" He blushes, throwing a snowball at Crystal.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Crystal yells.

Mineta is frighten so he hides behind Floafa.

"Crystal is gay." Mineta says.

Floafa snorts. "O3h 3y go3d."

"YOU'RE GAY!" Crystal yells back.

Floafa picks the grape up like a cat.

"FU-" Crystal trips.

"Let's all go3 back inside." Floafa suggests, still holding her grape.  
Crystal fucking attacks them with ice and snow.

Floafa runs inside with grape.

"Can I join your cult?" Hamster Kala bitch is sauce.

"As lo3ng as I'3 a virgin…NO3!" Floafa is salt.

"I WILL LOCK YOU IN A ROOM! JUST FUDGE ALREADY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Bitch be dying

"Being lo3cked in a ro3o33 with 3ineta wo3uldn't be so3 bad~" Floafa purrs.

"Ok than. It's settled. I am locking you in a room!" She smiles, super happy.

"Waitwhat?" Mineta is concerned.

~I guess a little timeskip~

Floafa and Mineta are doin the dirty ;)))))) d

~MORESKIPP NO SIN THX~

Crystal is T posing.

Floaf and Grape approach the Christ and Peppermint.

"AAAAAAAA!" Crystal yells.

"A." Floafa states, dabbing.

"Aaa." Todo states.

"E." Mineta smiles.

"Shut up, Mineta." Crystal growls.

"Eat 3y ass, Crystal." Floafa salt.

"Shut. Up." Crystal growl more.

"No3. 3ineta is 3y cute little grape and I refuse to3 let yo3u har3 hi3!" Floafa pouts.

"What if I harm you then Mineta?" Crystal asks.

"Then I'll 3urder yo3u first." Floafa responds.

"Then you would get arrested." Crystal says.

"I care abo3ut 3y grape 3o3re." Floafa hugs him.

Mineta is tearing up with happiness.

"He's weak and pathetic." Crystal snarls.

"Yes. But he's 3ine and I lo3ve hi3." Floafa smiles.

"He doesn't stand a chance in battle! He would probably be the one to die first." Crystal growl.

Mineta is an angery. "yOU WANNA GO?!"

"Sure. Fight me." Crystal says.

Long story short: Mineta wins.

"Sorry. Who'd be the first to die?" He smirks.

"Shut up." She growls, salty.

Floafa's fins wiggle excitedly.

"At least I'm not a coward!" Crystal snarls.

"I can be brave when I want to be." He is an condescending.

Crystal bites him.

"fO3R FUCK'S SAKE, CRYSTAL!" Floafa just fuckin zooms over. "STO3P BITING PEO3PLE!"

She kicks Crystal in the face.

Crystal bites harder.

Floafa is trying to pry the two apart.

Mineta is screaming and cry.

Floafa is trying her **hard** est to separate the two.

Crystal tears a large piece of his arm off.

Floafa nearly vomits.

She quickly tends to his wounds, trying to comfort him.

Crystal growls. "WHO'S WEAK NOW?!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, CRYSTAL!" Floafa growls, starting to glow. "THIS ISN'T ABO3UT YO3UR FRAGILE EGO3 ANY3O3RE!"

"YO3U JUST CRO3SSED THE LINE." She continues. "YO3U JUST HURT SO33EO3NE! SO33EO3NE I CARE ABO3UT!"

"I-I-" Crystal begins.

"I SAID: SHUT UP!" Floafa snarls.

There is a long silence.

"But I-" Crystal begins.

"No3." Floafa interrupts, helping Mineta up. "Co33e o3n, 3ineta…let's go3."

"What is wrong with her?" Mineta asks.

Floafa sighs. "I'3 no3t sure."

"Let's just see if I can help yo3u with that ar3…alright?" She smiles at him.

Crystal leaves.

Floafa takes Mineta to her dorm room, where she tends to his **destroyed** arm.

"Ow…" He winces.

"Hey, 3ineta?" Floafa sighs, staring at the damage.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Are yo3u o3kay?" She cups his cheek. "Crystal really did a nu3ber o3n yo3ur ar3 and you were… _no3t_ very happy at the ti3e."

She chuckles, remembering the incident.

"Do I look ok to you?" He salts.

"S-So3rry." She chuckles. "I'3 just trying to3 3ake light o3f the situatio3n…"

Mineta is salty.

Floafa finishes bandaging him up. "No3w, I'3 go3nna need yo3u to3 check in with 3e every 1 - 3 days so3 we can see if it's healing o3r no3t. O3kay?"

"Okay." He says.

She lightly pats him on the head. "Let's get yo3u back o3ut there. Ho3w's that so3und?"

"What?" He asks.

"We're…go3nna leave 3y do3r3 ro3o33…if yo3u're o3kay with that." Floafa bloosh. "O3r we co3uld just stay here."

"Ok. Let's go." He says.

Floafa smiles. "Alright."

They go to hISTORY CLASS.

"How?" Midnight points at Mineta's arm.

"Uh…" Mineta isn't sure how to respond. "I was attacked…"

"By who?" Midnight asks.

"CRYsTAL!" Deku yells.

Todo dies inside.

"She bit someone _again?_ " Midnight asks.

"Yes." Floafa responds.

"EVErRYONE INVOLVED GO TO GUIDANCE COUnSEloR!" Midnight yells.

Crystal, Floafa, Todo and Mineta leave.

"Get in." A furry says.

The children enter.

"Sit." He growls.

They all take seats.

"Now explain to me what happened." He says.

Floafa clears her throat. "I guess I'll begin."

"Ok." Furry says.

"Crystal was telling 3ineta ho3w useless and weak he was when he declared a battle. After Crystal lo3st that battle she go3t upset and bit 3ineta's ar3. I was 3erely the o3ne tending to3 his wo3unds." Floafa explains.

"Oh." He says. "Is this the first time she bit someone?"

"No3. Abo3ut a 3o3nth o3r so3 ago3 she bit 3e as well." Floafa responds.

He turns to Todoroki. "Did you see this happen?"

"Yes." Todo says.

"K." Dog boi says.

"Why did you bite him?" dog ask Crys.

"He wasn't subscribed to Pewdiepie-" Crystal says.

"Oh. Did he subscribe after?" Dog asks.

"WHAT?!" Mineta yells. "THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH T SERIES OR PEWDIEPIE!"

"Subscribe to Pewdiepie." Dog says.

"I _am_ subscribed." Grape responds.

"Good." Dog says.

He turns to Cryst. "Why did you _really_ bite him?"

"HE wAs BeInG A BITch." Crystal growls.

"That is no excuse to bite someone." He says.

"I know." Crystal says.

"Will you bite someone again?" He asks.

"No…maybe." Crystal **mutt** ers.

"I to3o3k two3 NyQuil befo3re I go3t here." Floafa states.

"Why?" Dog asks.

"Because I'3 sick." Floafa responds. "And I co3uldn't find any dayquil."

"Oof." Todo says.

"Does Crystal need a muzzle?" Mineta laughs.

"Yes." Floafa chuckles. "I've been suggesting it fo3r years no3w."

"NONONONONONO!" Crystal yells.

"Wouldn't she be able to take it off though?" To-do list asks.

"Use a key." Floafa responds.

"NO." Crystal salt.

Floafa yawns.

"You may now leave." Doggo says.

Everyone leaves, now changed as people.

They go to the next class which is…Heroics.

"Go use your quirks." All Might says.

"Excellent teaching." Floafa rolls her eyes.

Everyone goes outside to quirk.

Floafa is surrounded by a fort of green cubes in under 5 minutes.

"What the fuck?" A pikachu asks.

"Who3 go3es there?!" Floafa shoves one of her cubes out of the way to look at the person.

"Kaminari." He says.

"Well, Cala3ari." Floafa responds. "Bego3ne! I have wo3rk to3 do3!"

Crystal makes an ice igloo.

Floafa stares at it. "What."

"I got bored and didn't know what to do." Crystal says.

Floafa nods. "Yo3u like 3y fo3rt?"

"Yeet." Crystal states.

Floafa covers the hole back up with a cube and ends up falling asleep from the NyQuil.

Crystal surrounds Floafsads's fort with ice.

Mineta is angery but he just kinda waits outside of the fort for a bit.

Todo looks over and laughs.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A random kid yells.

Floafa awakens and recognizes that there is ice surrounding her fort.

However, it is Floafa so she just uses void powers to kinda just…wormhole out of there.

She puts her hand on Crystal's shoulder from behind her and whispers. "Hey."

"wHAT THE FUCK!?" Crystal yells, s **turtle** d.

Floafa slaps Crystal. "Do3n't fuck with 3e again."

"bITCH WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!" Crystal yells.

"Hell." Floafa responds.

"Seems legit." Crystal wheezes.

"OwO." A pikachu stat.

Floafa smiles at Calamari.

"UwU." Crystal states.

"OWO!" All Might yells from a distance.

Floafa screams in fear.

"AYO3! WANNA JO3IN O3UR CULT?!" She yells at Calamari, snapping at the sky.

"YES!" Calamari yells.

Hamster bitch is in distress.

"aW YEAH!" Floafa is excite.

"YEe!" He says.

He stops being brainded. "Yes."

"Haha o3kay." Floafa laughs.

"WHO'S IN THE CULT?!" He yells, a happy boyo.

"3ina, Deku, Crystal, To3do3, 3ineta, Kiri…and I think that's it aside fro33 3yself!"

"HECK YEAH I'LL JOIN!" He a happy boi.

"pikacHU." Crystal points at Kami.

"What's yo3ur na3e again?" Floafa asks him.

"Kaminari." He smile.

"Right. Cala3ari." Floafa gives a thumbs up, chuckling.

He sharply inhales. "No."

"Fish puns!" Floafa yells.

"Oh." He says.

"Since I'3 never re3e3bering yo3ur na3e is there anything else I can call yo3u?" **Fi-she** asks, smiling.

"Denki." He smiles.

Floafa snorts, putting a grape flavored sucker in her mouth.

Denki cringes. "Ew grapes are gross."

"Grapes are 3y favo3rite." Floafa glances at Mineta.

"Ew." Denki says.

"Whaat?" Floafa whines.

"Mineta is a disgusting perv." A random girl states.

"Yeah." Floafa responds. "But he's _3y_ disgusting perv."

"You have bad taste." The girl says.

"Actually I have no3 taste. I used to3 go3 o3ut with Bakugo3." Floafa smirks.

"At least Bakugo is better than Mineta." The girl says.

"Debatable." Floafa shrugs.

"Mineta literally harasses all of the girls. How the fuck do you like him?" Mina asks.

"O3ne acro3ny3. Fo3ur letters." Floafa smirks. "BDS3."

"You're disgusting." The girl says.

"Thank yo3u!~" Floafa beams.

The girl walks away to talk to Todo.

"ASSFUCK!" Denki yells.

"Yo3u are 3y new best friend." Floafa laughs.

"Ow." Crystal says.

"Oof." Denki states.

"LO3O3K O3UT WO3RLD! I'3 HARD AND I'3 CO33ING!" Floafa yells.

"WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT NERF IS GONNA LET ME IN-!" All Might yells.

"So…do they want to _help_ Nerf or fuck him?" Mineta adds.

"NERF BASTION!" Todo yells.

Floafa just grabs some fuckin crown thing out of nowhere and says. "What do3 yo3u think is go3nna happen when I put this o3n?"

"You die." Crystal salt.

"Anyo3ne o3ther than Crystal?" Floafa asks.

"Die." Todo says.

"Well then I guess we'll just see if I die." Floafa puts it on.

"OwO." Denki states.

There is an awkward silence as nothing happens.

"Well, I guess-" Floafa begins.

Then Psionics.

"oH." All Might is shock.

Floafa is laughing giddily, like a child that just got a new toy.

"She crazy." All Might wheezes.

Floafa takes the crown off, stowing it away for safe keeping.

tHEN BOOM VILLAINs ATTACC.

"Hello3, Bad To3uch 3an." Floafa waves at the villain.

"Hello, Fish Bitch." He replt.

Floafa does finer guns.

"Are you gonna join us and be a villain yet?" A girl asks.

"Nah **no3t to3day.** " Floafa brushes it off.

"Aw. But why?" The girl frowns.

"I do3n't feel like it." Floafa cronches her sucker.

"When are you going to join us?" bitch asks.

Floafa shrugs. "I kinda have a busy schedule."

She looks at her wrist, remembering she doesn't own a watch.

"Floafa, do you want to be a villain?" All Might is mad.

"H33…" Floafa ponders. "I 3ean…no3t really? I'3 kinda drawn to3 po3wer by nature but I want to3 attend this scho3o3l so3…"

"Yes or no?" All Might glares at her.

Floafa thinks about a list of pros and cons and paces around.

"Come on! Join us!" The evil girl smiles.

"But there's o3nly a week o3r so3 until Christ3as." Floafa states. "And…I have plans so3…no3. So3rry."

"Can't you join us after?" **Girl** asks.

"I want to3 attend this scho3o3l tho3ugh." Floafa E.

"Why?" Bad touch asks.

"Because yo3u never actually have to3 pay attentio3n in class." Floafa responds. "And yo3u can just 3ake friends which I think wo3uld be pretty hard to3 do3 as a villain."

"Fine. I'm Toga by the way." Toga says.

Floafa gives a thumbs up. "Flo3afa. Pleasure 3eeting yo3u."

"YEET!" Toga yells, throwing a knife.

The knife hits Crystal in chest.

Floafa applauds.

Todo screms and runs to help chris.

"Is assisted suicide o3kay?" Floafa asks All Might.

"No." He says.

"But it's legal in Canada." Floafa responds.

"Only in Canada." Crystal wheezes.

"Shit. But it's no3t a bad thing to3 do3." Floafa is confuse. "Like if the perso3n is ill physically o3r 3entally and they want to3 die but they do3n't have the nerve o3r the power to3 kill the3selves."

Toga just walks over to Crystal and stabs her again.

"Well suicide is not a good thing." All Might states.

"Yes. But if so33eo3ne is ill they 3ight need to3 die." Floafa responds. "And in 3y o3pinio3n it wo3uld be 3o3re hero3ic than letting so33eo3ne live in pain until they finally have the nerve to3 pull the trigger."

"Oh shit you're right." All Might says.

Crust is just dying on the ground.

"What's even so3 wro3ng with 3urder?" Floafa sits down.

"Are you stupid? Because killing innocent people is bad!" All Might yells.

"Is there really any 'playing Go3d' when yo3u _are_ Go3d?" Floafa asks. "With 3y high place in Alternian so3ciety, 3y Go3d tier and the fact that I literally helped create yo3ur entire universe I do3n't think there _is_ really 'playing Go3d'."

"Shut up." All Might says.

"I created all these lives." Floafa glares into the sky. "So3 why can't I destro3y the3 to3o3?"

The villain fucking leave.

All Might goes to help the Crystal.

Floafa sighs. "I need help."

She hugs Mineta, letting herself just become a noodle. "Weh."

Kiri walks over to Floafa. "What the fuck happened?"

"What do3 yo3u 3ean?" Floafa asks, still hugging Mineta.

"I mean, what happened just now?" He asks.

"With what?" Floafa asks, smiling.

"Why is there blood?" He asks.

"Crystal go3t stabbed." Floafa responds, hugging Mineta tighter.

"Is she gonna be okay?" He asks, concern.

"I'3 no3t sure. To3ga _did_ just launch a knife into3 her chest." Floafa shrugs.

"Oh shit. That sucks." Kiri frowns.

"But I'3 sure the plo3t ar3o3ur she has will pro3tect her." She laughs.

"Plot armour?" Kiri asks.

"Do3n't ask." She responds.

"So she'll live?" Kiri is confusion.

"Yeah." Floafa responds. "She'll live."

"That's good." He smoil.

"Sure. Whatever." She shrugs.

Todo is angery. "Isn't Crystal your friend?"

"Yeah, but I do3n't really care." She yawns.

"You don't care about your friend?" Todo is angry.

"No3pe." Floafa responds, eating a bag of skittles.

Todo steals and burns her skittles.

Floafa punches him in the face. "FUCK YO3U!"

"I'd fuck me too." He says.

Floafa is disgusted. "Ew. No3bo3dy but Crystal wants yo3ur pepper3int ass."

"And nobody but that ugly grape bitch wants your ass." He says.

"Bakugo3 wants 3y ass." Floafa responds.

"I DO NOt!" Bakuhoe yells, salty that Flof don't love him.

"Bakahoe is gay." Todoroki wheezes.

Bakugo looks like he's gonna beat Todo's ass.

Floafa just grabs herself more skittles from fuckall nowhere. "Hell! Even the villains want 3e o3n their tea3."

Mineta is salt.

Then CRystaL walks over, not being die.

Floafa just puts her skittles away, fearing that she might also destroy them.

"Bitch wot?" Crystal asks.

"Do3n't to3uch 3y fucking Skittles. To3do3 already destro3yed a bag o3f 3y Skittles." Floafa hisses.

Todo burn her.

"O3W! yO3U cUnT!" Floafa is upset so she chucks a bRICK at him.

Todo falls and dIES FRoM brICK iMpACt.

"O3h shit did I kill hi3?" Floafa asks.

"Uh." Crystal walks over to his corpsE. "No."

"Why don't you guys just gET ALONG?!" Mineta yells. "SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE IF THIS HATRED KEEPS uP!"

"That was the smartest thing you have ever said." Todo laughs.

"Sadly, I have to3 agree with To3do3." Floafa nods.

"Thanks..?" Mineta says.

"3ino3ru 3eans "to3 bear fruit"." Floafa responds, smiling.

"Oh." Crystal says.

"Do3 yo3u bear fruit, 3ineta?" Floafa asks.

"Look at the top my god damn head, bitch." He salts.

"Grapes are berries." She responds.

"Oof." He says.

Floafa is just dying inside. "Well…"

She clears her throat. "A grape is a fruit, bo3tanically a berry, o3f the deciduo3us wo3o3dy vines o3f the flo3wering plant genus Vitis. Grapes can be eaten fresh as table grapes o3r they can be used fo3r 3aking wine, jam, juice, jelly, grape seed extract, raisins, vinegar, and grape seed o3il. Grapes are a no3n-cli3acteric type o3f fruit, generally o3ccurring in clusters."

She lightly touches the grapes on his head.

"No." He bloosh.

"N-No3?" Floafa raises a brow. "No3 what?"

He swats her hand away. "No."

"O3h! So3rry, Do3ll!~" She giggles.

"Don't call me that." He bloosh **hard.**

She places her lips against his forehead. "Alright, Darling."

Todo fucking tRIPS CRYSTal.

"O3h no3! To3do3 has fallen and he can't get it up." Floafa says unenthusiastically.

Mineta snickers.

Todo hugs the pupper.

"Ew that's GAY." Floafa cringes.

"Helpme." Crystal is dying.

"Wait isn't this scho3o3l? WHERE THE FUCK IS THE TEACHER!?" Floafa yells.

"In class." Todo says.

"To3do3 are you retarded?" Floafa asks.

"No." He says.

"Shit he just left us." Floafa is salt.

She just changes into a cat onesie but like without flashing anyone.

Crystal is just dying in Todo's grip.

"To3do3, let go3 o3f the po3o3r so3ul." Floafa sighs.

"Wait how the fuCK DID YOU CHANGE INTO THAT?!" Mineta yells.

"No. I won't let go." Todo says.

"LET IT GO3!" Floafa yells. "LET IT GO3O3O3O3!"

"CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!" Mineta yells.

"Stop." Todo says.

"LET IT GO3!" Floafa continues. "LET IT GO3O3!"

"TURN AWAY AND SLAM THE DOOR!" Mineta adds.

"I DO3N'T CARE WHAT THEY'RE GO3ING TO3 SAY!" Floafa yells.

"LET THE STORM RAGE ON!" Mineta is high.

"THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAYS!" They both sing.

"STOP!" Todo is upset.

"Yo3u're go3nna kill her!" Floafa yells.

"How?" Todo asks.

"HER WO3UND ISN'T CO33PLETELY HEALED, YO3U NUT!" Floafa facepalms.

"Oh…" Todo loosens his grip.

Floafa sighs. "What's the next class?"

"Math?" Crystal is still dying in Todo's grip.

"Wo3w I lo3ve 3eth class." Floafa gives a thumbs up.

bRing Brign goes tha beLL.

Todo just picks Cryst up, refusing to let go.

Floafa gives Mineta a piggy-back ride.

The quad go to Math class.

Floafa drops Mineta off and just waits for everyone + the teacher.

Crystal is a salt.

The teacher walks in. "What the fuck?"

Floafa stands up and yells. "lO3CK EYES FRO33 ACRO3SS THE RO3O33! DO3WN 3Y DRINK AS THE RHYTH3 BO3O33S! TAKE YO3UR HAND AND SKIP THE NA3ES! NO3 NEED HERE FO3R THE SILLY GA3ES! 3AKE O3UR WAY THRO3UGH THE S3O3KE AND CRO3WD! THE CLUB IS THE SKY AND I'3 O3N YO3UR CLO3UD! 3O3VE IN CLO3SE AS THE LASERS FLY! O3UR BO3DIES TO3UCH AND THE ANGELS CRY! LEAVE THIS PLACE GO3 BACK TO3 YO3URS! O3UR LIPS FIRST TO3UCH O3UTSIDE YO3UR DO3O3RS! THE WHO3LE NIGHT WHAT WE'VE GO3T IN STO3RE! WHISPER IN 3Y EAR THAT YO3U WANT SO33E 3O3RE AND I _**JIZZ IN 3Y PANTS**_."

She sits down calmly.

"Shut up." The teacher says.

"PUTMEDOWNYOUASS." Crystal is a salty bitch.

"Floafa, why?" Deku asks.

"Why no3t?" Floafa asks, kicking up her feet.

"THAT'S NOT SCHOOL APPROPRIate!" A tall boi does the 'boi' thing with with hand.

"YO3UR FACE ISN'T SCHO3O3L APPRO3PRIATE!" She yells in response, sitting upright.

"WHAT? MY FACE IS SCHOOL APPROPRIATE!" He yells.

Floafa cringes. "I was **jo3king**."

"WHO EVEn ARE YOU?" Crystal dies.

"Yeah, no3bo3dy kno3ws who3 the fuck yo3u are." Floafa adds.

"Oh. Well, I'm Tenya Iida." He says.

Floafa tries to think of a way to make fun of his name.

"Kenya Lid?" Crystal asks.

"IIDA HO3E!" Floafa yells, pumping her fist in the air.

Iida looks angery.

"I FUCKIN DID IT!" She laughs, clapping.

Todo finally puts Cystral down.

Mineta swiftly kisses Floafa, almost as if he's marking his territory.

He grabs the tail on her cat onesie, pulling her closer, a blush on his face.

"Stop." Iida says.

"Eat ass." Floafa responds, hugging her grape.

"STOP!" Iida yells.

"Whaat?" Floafa coos, getting uncomfortably close to Mineta.

"Stop." He separates them.

"Co3ckblo3ck." Floafa pouts, putting her hands on her hips. " _ **I'3 go3nna beat the legal shit o3ut o3f yo3u.**_ "

Crystal is laughing her ass off. "OHMYFUCKINGGOD!"

"FFFFFFFFrick you." Iida says.

"Ew. I hate yo3u already." Floafa cringes.

Crystal is dying. "STOP."

"Why are you laughing so hard?" He asks Crystal.

"Because she's a cUC." Floafa responds.

Crystal laughs at this. "STOP."

"Bing bong class start." The teacher says.

"Are yo3u high?" Floafa asks.

"Iida." Todo says.

"Yo3u're also3 a cuc." Floafa states, getting into her seat.

Todo T poses on his desk. "Fuck you, Iida."

Floafa begins screaming. "R. A. P. E. GET YO3UR HANDS AWAY FRO33 3E!"

tHEn A Random girl begins laughing HARd.

"WhO3 thE fuck aRE yO3u?" Floafa asks.

"UrArAkA!" The girl wheezes.

"wE SHO3ULD START CLASS BEFO3RE WE ALL FUCKING DIE!" Floafa yells.

"No." Teacher says.

"wHAT?!" Floafa yells, standing up on her desk. "WELL, FUCK! I GUESS I'LL JUST GO3 DO3 3Y O3WN THING THEN! I'LL JUST JU3P O3UT THE GO3DDA3N WINDO3W! SEE YO3U ALL WHEN I FINALLY-"

Crystal is just fuckindying so loud.

"CRYSTAL, SHUT THE FUCK UP. IIDA, STO3P BEING A CUNT. TO3DO3RO3KI, GET DO3WN FRO33 THERE. EVERYO3NE JUST **STO3P**." Floafa is not okay.

"Why should we listen to you?" Crystal asks.

Floafa punches Crystal in the gut. "THAT'S WHY! ANY 3O3RE QUESTIO3NS?"

"WHY DID YOU PUNCH HEr?!" Todo is angery.

"NO3BO3DY QUESTIO3NS 3E!" Floafa yells, shoving him off the desk.

"OW FU-" He hits his head.

"NO3W LET'S BEGIN BEFO3RE I HAVE A FUCKING ANEURYS3!" She yells.

"Really, why the fuck should we listen to you? You're not a teacher!" Crystal yells.

"BECAUSE I HAVE A CHAINSAW AND NO3 SELF CO3NTRO3L! NO3W SHUT UP AND SIT DO3WN!" Floafa is salty.

"NO!" Crystal yells.

Floafa just kinda defenestrates her. "O3KAY! NO3W WE CAN BEGIN!"

She notices the lack of a teacher. "3O3THERFUCKER!"

Crystal crawls back through the window.

Floafa grabs Crystal and Mineta and leaves to go find the teacher. "THAT SO3N O3F A BITCH BETTER HAVE A GO3O3D REASO3N FO3R LEAVING!"

"Pleaseputmedown." Crystal says.

Floafa drops Crystal.

Iida stops to help cRtsdr.

Floafa is just dragging Mineta along, muttering angrily.

The teacher is standing in the hallway.

Floafa lets go of Mineta and fuCKIN RUNS TOWARDS HIM AGGRESSIVELY, HOLDING A KNIFE WITH ONE HAND AND DOING THE OK HAND WITH THE OTHER.

The teacher tries to run but he trip.

Floafa holds the knife close to him. "YO3U BETTER HAVE A GO3O3D REASO3N YO3U LEFT!"

Mineta, Crystal and Iida join Floafa.

"OK I'LL GO BACK JUST DON'T HURT ME!" The teacher yells.

Floafa snarls. "Go3o3d."

They go back to class.

Floafa is holding her knife to his back the entire time they are walking, and only after they enter the classroom does she put it down, jabbing him lightly to signal him inside.

Todo is still unconscious.

Floafa just kinda goes back to her school uniform.

"No3w." Floafa states. "Do3 yo3ur jo3b."

"WHAT'S 9 + 10?!" The teacher yells.

Floafa glares at him.

"21!" He is frightened.

Floafa scoffs, still giving him the death glare.

Mineta turns her head to face him, smirking

"Why don't you ever dominate _me_ like that?~" He kisses her neck.

"Ho3w do3 yo3u kno3w I do3n't like being the sub3issive o3ne?~" She purrs.

Imagery flashes through Mineta's mind, causing his pants to become…tighter ;))))))

He bites his lip, a smile spreading across his face.

"Ew gross." Mina cringes.

They ignore Mina's immaturity and just **love**.

Todo finally stops being dead.

Floafa kisses **Minta** passionately.

Todo punches Flof in gut.

Floafa is pissed off. "SeriousLY?!"

She kicks Todo in the face. "I'3 GO3NNA FUCKING KILL YO3U!"

He burns her. "Nah."

Floafa doesn't even care, continuing to attack him with anything and everything.

"Floafa stop." Cryst growl.

"HE STARTED IT!" Floafa yells, angry.

"I don't give a shit. Stop." Crystal snarls.

Floafa growls, balling her hands into fists and throwing blind punches at Todoroki. "NO3! NO3NO3NO3NO3NO3NO3NO3NO3!"

"Stop or I will bite you." Crystal snarls.

"GO3 AHEAD!" Floafa yells. "SEE IF YO3U CAN! SEE IF I EVEN CARE!"

"Stop attacking him." Crystal says.

Floafa is just continuing her attack, not caring about the consequences.

Crystal attacks Floafa.

Mineta covers his eyes.

Floafa and Crystal are just fighting.

Crystal bites Floafa's arm.

Floafa yanks her arm away, tearing a large amount of it off, causing it to ooze blood.

Crystal bites her again but harder.

Floafa continues punching and pulling her limbs away when she gets bitten, leading to large amounts of her body to be torn apart.

Crystal tears her arm apart.

Floafa holds her arm. "I. Regret. No3thing."

Mineta looks terrified.

Floafa sits down, surrounded by her own blood that is soaking her uniform.

Her breathing becomes shaky as she looks at her arm.

Crystal stares at her.

Floafa sighs. "If I die like this…then so3 be it."

She just lets death take her soul as she sits there, cold and contempt.

Mineta is angry. "YOU- YOU KILLED HER."

Floafa chuckles. "No3t dead yet, sadly."

She just kinda…saunters over to him, leaning on him for support. "It's o3kay, 3ineta. Everything is o3kay…"

She smiles at him. "Yo3u just have to3 be stro3ng and…re3e3ber that I will always lo3ve yo3u…no3 3atter what."

And with that she leaves the world.

Mineta is a sad boi.

He mourns the death of the only person who actually liked him **ever**.

He grabs a pair of scissors and stabs Crystal. "GET OUT!"

He keeps cutting her until she leaves.

The entire class is dismissed because sOMEONE JUST FUCKING DIED.

Crystal goes to her dorm, bleeding.

Mineta cries himself to sleep.

Crystal just lets herself bleed.

~Morning time~

The squad meets up like normal…minus a certain fish.

"Why did you kill her?" Mineta is still angery.

"I didn't mean to kill her." Crystal frowns.

"BUT YOU DID!" Mineta is sad and angry.

"But I didn't mean it…" **Crstal** is upsetti.

"Well, maybe you should've thought about that before you tore her apart!" Mineta grits his teeth.

"I'm sor-" Crystal begins.

"WELL, SORRY DOESN'T FIX ANYTHING!" He yells, choking on tears.

"Mineta. Leave her alone." Deku says.

"NO! SHE **KILLED** FLOAFA!" Mineta sniffles.

"She didn't mean to kill her though." Deku says.

"BUT SHE STILL **DID**." Mineta yells. "AND NOW THANKS TO HER FLOAFA IS **GONE**."

"Should…I leave?" Crystal asks.

"Yes." Mineta responds.

"Mineta. She didn't mean to kill Floafa. Leave her alone." Todo says.

And so he walks away, still upset about everything.

Todo tries to comfort the sad floofy pup.

Everyone has to go to class.

The class is unusually quiet aside from Mineta quietly sobbing at his desk.

Crystal leaves the classroom.

The rest of the day is pretty dull from that point on, with almost nothing going on.

Nothing interesting happening.

Nothing.

It continues like this for the next day.

And the next.

Everyone is trying to be in good spirits for the holiday season, but nobody can really seem to be happy.

Not after what happened.

Crystal just stays in her dorm room.

Around day 5 Mineta has just cut off all communication to people, not talking to anyone at school and locking all his doors and windows when he gets back to his room.

Then on day 6 (2 days until Christmas) something strange happened.

There was a hole in one of the school walls.

It was just there, chillin.

Doing it's own thing.

Nobody fucking cares though.

Poor hole ;(

The day continues like normal but everything is decorated for Christmas because fuck every other religion amarite.

Mineta returns to his room.

But the window is wide open.

He just stares at the window for a bit before trying to close it.

The window, however, is a stubborn bitch and doesn't want to close.

He eventually slams it shut and sighs.

"Do3 yo3u want to3 kno3w an interesting fact abo3ut wo3o3d chippers?" A familiar voice asks from behind him.

Mineta perks up, swiftly turning around to face the fish.

She waits for a response.

His heart skips a beat, his eyes welling up with tears.

He runs over, **murdering her with hugs**. "I THOUGHT YOU DIED?!"

"Yeah." Floafa responds, patting him on the back gently. "I _did_."

He hugs her tighter. "But-…then how are you here?"

"Er…it's a lo3ng sto3ry…" She laughs, trying to comfort her little grape. "And I do3n't _really_ feel like telling it."

He sobs into her shirt, happy. "I'm just glad you're back!"

"Yeah…3e to3o3." She laughs, pappin da grapes on his head lightly. "We sho3uld go3 tell the o3thers-"

"No." Mineta hugs her tighter, cutting her sentence off. "Stay here forever."

She smiles. "I guess I can wait until to33o3rro3w…"

"Forever!" He repeats, forcing her onto his bed.

She sighs, laying down. "Alright. I'll stay fo3rever then."

He hugs her, resting his head on her chest. "Never leave me again!"

"Never." She confirms. "Never again."

There is a long, comfortable silence between them as they just hold each other.

"So3 do3 yo3u want to3 kno3w the fact abo3ut wo3o3d chippers o3r no3t?" Floafa asks, still hugging him.

"Sure…?" He responds.

"The fact is that if a living being go3es thro3ugh the wo3o3d chipper it will si3ply pass thro3ugh just like a lo3g instead o3f getting stuck like it always sho3ws in 3o3vies." She smiles at the ceiling.

Mineta quietly questions why she knows this, but decides not to ask any questions about it.

After a small pause Floafa begins singing "Somewhere over the rainbow" quietly, drawing circles on Mineta's back with her thumb to soothe him.

They both end up falling asleep in each other's embrace.

~Moooooorning time~

Floafa yawns, sitting up and stretching.

She looks down at Mineta, who is still sleeping peacefully.

"Wakey wakey, Little Grapey~" She coos. "We go3tta get up!"

She just kinda picks him up, waking him up.

"bITCH WHAt THE FUck?!" He yells.

"Yo3u're awake!~" She smiles at him. "…Finally."

"OwO." He states.

"Sto3p." She replies.

"CAn We Go OUtSiDe?" He asks.

"Sure." She gives a thumbs up.

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO." All Might yells.

Floafa shrieks. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"TWT." He states.

Floafa is frightened. "WHERE DID YO3U EVEN CO33E FRO33?!"

He leaves.

"…Let's go3 o3utside no3w." She just kinda hops out the window.

Minty fresh follows. "YEET!"

Floafa starts blasting Ram ranch outside from a boombox she's holding above her head.

Crystal begins laughing to the fpoind ter. "StOP."

Floafa begins yelling about how the sun is a deadly laser.

"AaaaaaaaAaAaaAAAAAAAAAA!" Mina yells.

"How are you not dead?" Todo asks.

"THAT'S A LO3NG STO3RY!" Floafa yells, still blasting Ram Ranch. "FO3R ANO3THER DAY."

"SHE A ZOMBIE FISH!" Mina yells.

Floafa wheezes. " **cARL.** "

"CARlLLL THAT KILLS PeOPLE!" Crystal wheezes.

"SHIT I CAN'T SNAP!" Denki yells. "I JUST WANTED TO BE THANOS!"

"I'3 already Thano3s." Floafa snaps.

"WHERE ARE THE STONES?" He is confosoe.

"UP 3Y ASS!" Floafa yells.

"hOLY SHIT SHE REALLY IS THANOS!" Danko yells.

Floafa gives a thumbs up.

"ORANGES ARE GAY!" He yells.

"O3h no3." She responds, throwing an orange at him.

"OwO." He states.

"Sho3uldn't we…get to3 class?" She asks the squad.

"No." Mina says.

"Why no3t?" Floafa asks.

"UhHHHHHHHHHHHHH...Burger." Mina snaps.

"Well then…let's go3 to3 class!" Floafa yells, absconding.

"THANOS IS GAY!" Mina yells.

They arriev at the classo and wait for Aizowo.

Nobody really seems to notice Floafa at first.

Mr. Owo walks in and sees the zombie fish. "What?"

"What what?" Floafa responds.

"How?" He is confused.

"How?" She repeats, confused at his confusion.

He points at Floafa. "How are you alive?"

"It's a secret." She snickers.

"biTCH TeELL Me." He says.

"I used the 3agic o3f the 3o3o3n." Floafa throws confetti everywhere.

"Waitwhat?" He asks.

"I died o3n the 3o3o3n. No3t yo3ur 3o3o3n tho3ugh. That's ho3w I'3 alive." She gives a thumbs up.

"Okthen." He walks away.

Everyone stays awkwardly silent, unsure of what to do or say.

"You died on a moon…and that's how you're alive?" Mineta asks.

"Yeah, pretty 3uch." Floafa responds.

"…Care to elaborate?" He is just done with Floafa's vague riddles and mysteries.

"I'll tell yo3u later." She smiles. "And at the sa3e ti3e I can check o3n yo3ur wo3und co3nsidering I kinda just **died**."

"I can just go to the nurse." He says.

"No3! I insist!" She smiles wider. "It wo3uld be fun!"

"Nah." He says.

Floafa glares at him. "That wasn't an o3ffer. That was a de3and."

"Bitch the nurse is better." He glares back.

They just glare at each other for a long time.

Mineta fucking leaves.

Floafa isn't taking this shit so she follows him.

"Stop following me you hoe." He says.

"LET 3E HELP YO3U GO3DDA3NIT!" She yells, bloosh.

"No." He says.

"I EXPECTED 3O3RE RESPECT AFTER DYING!" She crosses her arms.

"Fuck off." The cringey grape says.

Floafa growls. "Why? Why do3 yo3u do3 these things?"

"Fuck you that's why." He salts.

"Yo3u'll always escalate situations and…yo3u always treat 3e and o3thers like trash! Is that all I a3 to3 yo3u? JUST GARBAGE?!" Tears well up in her eyes as she says these words.

He stops, realizing what he's done.

"WELL?!" She yells, trying to hold her tears and anger back.

He walks away.

"ANSWER 3E!" She clenches her fists.

He continues walking.

She walks swiftly to catch up with him, turning him to face her. "ANSWER. 3E."

"Leave me alone." He says.

She shoves him. "FINE!"

"I DIDN'T NEED YO3U ANYWAYS!" She storms back to class, sitting down and being angry.

"Are you ok?" Kiri asks.

"Just **peachy.** " She says through gritted teeth.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"3ineta's being a cunt3uffin." She sighs.

"Mineta's an asshole." Kiri says.

"He just co3nstantly treats everyo3ne like trash and I do3n't kno3w why!" She yells.

"If he's being a dick, just break up with him." Kiri says.

"But I kno3w he's nice!" She yells. "He just never sho3ws it in public!"

"No he isn't." Kiri says.

"Yo3u do3n't kno3w hi3 the sa3e way I do3…" She sighs. "He really _is_ sweet! It's just like he's co3nstantly o3n his perio3d o3r so33ething!"

"Just break up with him. He's an asshole." Kiri says.

"But…I still lo3ve hi3." She looks down at her feet.

"That doesn't matter. If he treats you like trash, break up with him." Kiri says.

"3aybe I sho3uld…" She sighs. "Thanks, Kiri."

"You got my name right!" He smiles.

"Yeah…" She smiles back. "I guess I did…"

"So when are you going to do it?" Kiri asks.

"3aybe…later to3day? I do3n't want to3 do3 it o3n Christ3as eve because that wo3uld just be 3ean." She responds.

"Alright." He says.

The bell rings and they go to HEroICS?

But the only thing Floafa is practicing is how she's gonna break the news to Mineta.

And I guess her quirk too but she's not really focused on that so she just has like 3 cubes surrounding her.

"UWU!" All Might yells.

Floafa sighs, just staring at the ground.

She sits down.

Kaminari walks over. "Hi. You ok?"

"Hey, Cala3ari." She smiles at him. "I'3 just…thinking abo3ut stuff."

"What stuff?" He asks.

"See…I'3 go3nna break up with 3ineta to3day and I'3 no3t sure ho3w to3 tell hi3…" She sighs.

"Oh." He says.

"He's really sweet but he just do3esn't really…sho3w it." She stares into the horizon. "And I feel kinda bad fo3r this even tho3ugh he treats everyo3ne like trash."

"He doesn't deserve a girlfriend." Kaminari states.

"And I do3n't deserve to3 live after all the cri3es I've co333itted. But so33etimes stuff just…happens." She looks at him. "Like…we get go3o3d stuff just to3 have it ripped away fro33 us at the last seco3nd."

"Are we gonna kick him out of the squad?" He asks.

"I…do3n't kno3w." She responds. "We'll see when it co33es ti3e to3 3ake the decisio3n."

"I think we should kick him out." He says.

She sighs. "Yo3u're right…"

There's a small silence.

She quietly chuckles. "I do3n't deserve yo3u as a friend."

"Don't say that!" He says.

"See! Yo3u're so3 kind and o3utgo3ing and I'3 just…a 3urderer." She sighs.

"Murderer?" He asks.

"It's in 3y blo3o3d. I was hatched with an unco3ntro3llable blo3o3dlust and a thirst fo3r po3wer." She tenses up.

"Oh. Well that isn't your fault." He smiles.

"But the thing is…I enjo3y it." A small smile makes it's way onto her face. "Watching peo3ple belo3w 3e fight fo3r their lives as I ho3ld all the co3ntro3l o3ver their pitiful existence fills 3e with such jo3y."

"Oh." He says.

She sighs, hugging him.

He hug bacc.

"Yo3u're the best." She smiles.

"I am?" He asks.

"Yes!" She hugs him tighter. "Yo3u _are_ the best."

"Nobody has ever told me that before." He smiles.

"Who3 do3 yo3u usually talk to3?" She asks.

"Kiri, Bakugo, and Jiro." He says.

"Well that 3ight explain it." She laughs. "3o3irails?"

"What?" He asks.

"O3h! So3rry. I fo3rgo3t hu3an ro33ance is different than tro3ll ro33ance." She chuckles.

"Romance?" He asks.

"Er…well, 3o3irallegiance is when two3 peo3ple are, like, really go3o3d friends and so3 they vo3w to3 pro3tect eacho3ther and kinda act as a diffuser." She explains. "So3 like…3ega best friends but we cla3 eacho3ther do3wn."

"Oh. Ok." He says.

"So3…wanna be 3o3irails?" She asks, smiling.

"Sure." He smiles.

"Yay!" She beams.

"UWU!" All Might yells.

"Ho3w lo3ng have yo3u been there?" Floafa asks.

"I was here the entire time." He says.

"Well, that's great." She rolls her eyes.

BeLl Ring

All the children lunch.

The squad all sit at a table together which is starting to get cramped.

Hamster bitch comes back. "Hey can I j-"  
"NO3! FO3R THE LAST FUCKING TI3E GET O3UT O3F HERE!" Floafa yells.

This lunch she's drinking apple juice.

"Do it." Kiri says.

"N-No3t yet." She sighs, drinking her juice. "I have to3 wait fo3r the right time."

"I'm sorry, Floafa." Minty sayos.

"W-What?" She asks, perking up.

"I'm. Sorry." He repeats.

"3e to3o3, 3ineta." She sighs.

"Do it." Kiri says again.

"Listen." She looks Mineta in the eyes. "I…just do3n't think it's wo3rking o3ut between us."

"What?" Mint asks.

"I'3-…I'3 breaking up with yo3u." She sighs.

He leaves, crying.

"I- I did it." She seems almost shocked. "I actually did it!"

"He deserved it." Kiri says.

She smiles, feeling good about herself.

"Wait what?" Todo asks.

"To3do3…were yo3u even paying attentio3n?" Floafa asks. "I just bro3ke up with 3ineta."

"Oh. Why?" He asks.

"Because he's a dick." She replies.

"Oh." **T-poseo** says

"I feel like yo3u, Crystal, 3ina and Deku really weren't a part o3f this at all." She looks at the other two.

"What?" Deku is confuse.

"I just bro3ke up with 3ineta- HO3W IS EVERYBO3DY 3ISSING THIS?" She laughs. "SERIO3USLY! NO3BO3DY KNO3WS WHAT'S HAPPENING ANY3O3RE!"

"Oof." Crystal says.

"I bet no3bo3dy _also3_ kno3ws that Cala3ari and I are in a relatio3nship." Floafa smiles. "A plato3nic o3ne, o3f co3urse. He's 3y 3o3irail!"

"OwO?" Todo asks.

"O3H 3Y GO3D! DEKU CO3ULD LITERALLY BE PREGNANT AND NO3BO3DY WO3ULD KNO3W BECAUSE THIS FUCKING SQUAD NEVER TALKS TO3 EACHO3THER!" Floafa yells.

"Wait what?" Deku laughs.

Floafa snorts. "WHAT A3 _I_ EVEN SAYING?!"

"Are you high?" Mina asks.

"YeAH, PRO3BABLY!" Floafa yells.

"Oh." Mins says.

Floafa sighs, slamming her head on the table. "I still feel kinda bad…"

"Don't." Kiri says.

"I 3ean…I was the o3nly o3ne who3 ever liked hi3 and then I just kinda…to3o3k that fro33 hi3." She sighs.

"He deserved it." Kiri says.

"That's rude." She responds.

"He _did_ deserve it." Kaminari says.

"Mineta is a jerk." Todo says.

"Yo3u're right…as always." She grumbles. "He _was_ a big jerk! And he _did_ deserve it! So3 why a3 I getting so3 bu33ed o3ut- what's go3nna happen next Histo3ry class?"

"Just tell her that you broke up with him." Crystal says.

"Y-Yeah." Floafa laughs awkwardly.

*Bell sounds*

They all go to History I guess ok yeah.

They take their seats.

"hI cLASsS!" Midnight runs in.

Floafa raises her hand immediately.

"YeS?" Midnut asks.

"I bro3ke up with 3ineta!" Floafa yells.

"OH. TheN YoU'RE GOiNG To Be ShIp **Pp** ED WitTH SoMEONE ELse." Midnight says.

Floafa cocks her head to the side.

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHIPPEd wITH YuGA!" Midnight says.

"Who3?" Floafa asks.

Megnut points to a twinkling kid. lol

"O3h…" Floafa stares at the kid.

"Hello!" Yuga says.

"H-Hi?" She responds. "Why are yo3u…twinkling?"

"Because I'm fabulous!" He says.

Floafa chuckles. "Hi, Fabulo3us. I'3 Flo3afa!"

"Wow." He says.

She **beams** at him. "Ho3w are yo3u to3day?"

"Fabulous." He twinkles.

" **Agree to3 disagree-** I'3 having a pretty bad day to3day!"

"Why's that?" He asks.

"Wo3w! I didn't think yo3u cared abo3ut anything but yo3ur lo3o3ks- I just go3t back fro33… **dying** and no3bo3dy really see3s to3 care abo3ut that. I just had to3 break up with so33eo3ne, which was **great**." Floafa is dying inside. "And no3w I'3 shipped with yo3u." She complains.

"Oh." He says.

She sighs. "Yo3u understand…right? Yeah, yo3u're beautiful. But so3 far all yo3u've do3ne is 3ake 3y day wo3rse. Even, _less_ beautiful, if yo3u will."

She says this all with a smile, almost mimicking his expression at all times.

"Do3 yo3u ever even _sto3p_ s3iling?" She asks him, maintaining her own smile.

"Yes." He says.

"When?" She asks, a playful smile on her face.

"When I'm scared or upset." He says.

"O3h!~" She chirps. "And what scares o3r upsets yo3u?"

"Danger." He says.

She laughs. "Yeah. But is there anything in particular that wo3uld upset yo3u?"

"Losing my friends." He says.

"Yo3u have friends?" She asks, shocked.

"Yes." He says.

"Er…so3rry." She laughs. "I just do3n't really kno3w yo3u and-…based o3n 3y experience I just co3uldn't-…so3rry."

He frown.

She gasp. "Y-YO3U DID IT!"

"Yes." He says.

Floafa is shocked. "I didn't think yo3u co3uld actually do3 it!"

She shakes her head. "A-Anyways! Yo3u're very beautiful, but I'3 just…no3t lo3o3king fo3r a relatio3nship right no3w? W-We can still be friends if yo3u want! Yo3u can jo3in the squad!"

She beams at him, Waiting for an answer.

"Yes." He responds.

"Is…that all yo3u say?" She laughs. "Anyways-"

"I RECRUITED ANO3THER 3E3BER! I RECRUITED ANO3THER 3E3BER!" She yells to the rest of the squad.

"Yeet!" Crystal yells from the back of the room.

"YAY!" Floafa cheers, kinda just taking him to the rest of the squad. "This is o3ur beautiful new squad 3e3ber who3 I…can't re3e3ber the na3e o3f!"

"OwO." Todo states.

"What's yo3ur na3e?" She asks Yuga.

"Yuga." He says.

"Iö3go3!" She yells, laughing. "Iö3go3 Nano3!"

"What's with you and food?" **Calamari** asks.

Floafa smiles. "I'3 no3t even sure! I'3 always thinking o3f fo3o3d even tho3ugh I do3n't need to3 eat!"

She begins pointing to people and yelling food names. "Sno3w co3ne! Pepper3int! Co3tto3n candy! Seaweed! Ro3ck candy! Cala3ari! Yo3ghurt!"

Her eyes drift towards Mineta and she **very** , _**very**_ , _**VERY**_ quietly mutters. "And grapes…"

"Oh." Yuga says.

"Welco33e to3 the squad! Where being abno3r3al _is_ no3r3al!~" She happily chirps. "Heey! That's a go3o3d slo3gan!"

"OwO?" Yuga asks.

Floafa decides to talk to the grape. "Hey, 3ineta."

"What?" Mineta salt.

"Listen…even tho3ugh the relatio3nship didn't wo3rk o3ut I-…I still want to3 be yo3ur friend." She smiles. "O3ther peo3ple 3ight think yo3u do3n't deserve 3y friendship. And to3 that I say: They're right!"

"What?" He raises a brow.

"But, so33etimes we get stuff we do3n't deserve…and it 3akes us happy anyways." She smiles sweetly at him. "Fo3rgiveness, acceptance, friendship, lo3ve. No3bo3dy deserves any o3f it, really. But we give it anyways…to3 peo3ple _we_ think deserve it. So3…I think yo3u're deserving o3f 3y fo3rgiveness, 3y acceptance, 3y friendship…3y lo3ve."

There are tears welling up in his eyes. "That was the cheesiest and most beautiful thing I've ever heard."

"Friends?" She asks, smiling.

He's reluctant but he agrees, as all the salt in his body has been cried out. "Friends…"

Floafa goes back to the squad, feeling like a mighty good person.

"WHat th fuk?" Kaminari is high.

"Wat?" Floafa asks.

"WHy?" He points at Minty G.

"Why what?" She smoile.

"WhY Talk tO?" He asks.

"Fren." She beams.

"NoO." He says.

"Yes. 3y fran." She responds.

"Big oof." Kiri says.

Floafa is just smiling at the sky.

"Sniff." Crystal states.

"Sno3rt co3cnaie." Floafa wheezes.

"Bork." Crystal borks.

"Glub." Floafa glubs.

"*Chokes and dies*." Crystal says.

"Glub glub!" Floafa yells. "I'3 a squishy fishy!"

"Yeetus." Crystal says.

*Bellus ringod*

~The children are lunch. Becuae fuck class~

"So3…" Floafa states, drinking a glass of milk.

"YEe?" Denki asks.

"Uh…TITANIC!" Floafa yells, panicking.

"What?" Deku asks.

"That's 3y icebreaker." She smiles, doing finger guns.

"Oh." He sasy.

"So3…ho3w do3 yo3u…" Floafa stops her sentence, staring into nothingness.

"How do you what?" Deku asks.

"Sho3wer. Ho3w do3 yo3u sho3wer?" She asks.

"What?" He asks.

"Ho3w do3 yo3u…sho3wer?" She repeats.

"Soap." Mina states.

"What?" Floafa asks. "Ho3w tho3ugh?"

"Soap." Mina repeats.

"Yeah, but…what's it like? Ho3w do3 yo3u…?" Floafa asks. "I've never taken a sho3wer befo3re."

"You get in tHE ShOWOr, tURn IT On, tHen SoAP." Denki is high.

"But why?" She asks, cocking her head.

"Because STANK." He states.

"I literally do3n't even o3wn a sho3wer." She replies. "I never understo3o3d the3."

"Bitch search it up." He says.

"I do3n't even think I'd even _need_ a sho3wer. Ever." She is drinking milk. "Co3nsidering the fact that I literally used to3 live in the o3cean I just co3nstantly s3ell like _**salt**_."

A random bucket hits the ground, emptying out water all over the floor.

Floafa's face goes pale as she has nothing to say.

"It's a bucket." Denki states.

Floafa's face goes violet. "wHY IN THE NA3E O3F FUCK WO3ULD SO33EO3NE HAVE THIS AT **SCHO3O3L?!** "

"For cleaning." Todo says.

"tHAT'S DISGUSTING!" She yells, infuriated. "YO3U SICKEN 3E, TO3DO3!"

"How is it disgusting?" He asks.

She growls. "WH- WHAT DO3 YO3U 3EAN?! THAT IS THE 3O3ST PERVERTED THING I'VE EVER HEARD YO3U SAY!"

"How. Is. It. Disgusting?" He repeats.

Floafa cringes. "I do3n't want to3 talk to3 yo3u any3o3re. Yo3u disgust 3e."

Todo is confused. "What?"

*bribnt brgggn*

They go to next class which is Hroci.

Floafa goes to a spot and tries to concentrate on creating stuff but her mind is too focused on **buckets** for her to make anything other than a perfectly generic object.

Crusty Crab deis sinwds.

"Hello." A bitch walks over to Floaf.

"Hi?" Floafa looks up from her **cubes**.

"What's your name?" The bitch asks.

"What's _yo3ur_ na3e?" Floafa asks, continuing to practice.

"Momo Yaoyorozu." Momo says.

"Flo3afa. Flo3afa Partin." Floafa responds. "Yo3u're the o3ne who3 was…questio3ning 3e abo3ut 3y relatio3nship with 3ineta. Right?"

"Yep. That was me." Momo says.

"Well. I'll have yo3u kno3w we're no3t to3gether any3o3re." Floafa sighs, still trying to focus on her objects. "I bro3ke it o3ff."

"Oh. Why?" Momo asks.

"He was…treating 3e like trash and so3…I decided it was best that we…no3t see eacho3ther any3o3re." Floafa says, starting to tear.

"He was kind of a dick." Momo says.

"W-We're still friends tho3ugh…" Floafa is tears.

"Why?" Momo asks.

"Because…I _do3_ fo3rgive hi3 fo3r being a dick I just…do3n't kno3w if a relatio3nship is really the way to3 go3 abo3ut this…" Floafa is crying for no reason.

"He doesn't deserve it." Momo says.

"But I still like hi3…" Floafa responds.

"You will stop liking him eventually." Momo says.

"I 3ean…as a friend, o3f co3urse. But, I just think he's a nice perso3n o3verall." Floafa sighs.

"Still." Momo says.

"I 3ean…everybo3dy 3akes 3istakes." Floafa twiddles her thumbs. "And we all just need…seco3nd chances."

"He doesn't deserve a second chance." Momo says.

"But…lo3o3k at 3e! I fo3o3lishly died and _I_ go3t a seco3nd chance…no3t to3 3entio3n all the things I've do3ne that are _way_ wo3rse than just being 3ean to3 so33eo3ne." Floafa responds.

"What?" Momo asks.

"I've killed so3 3any inno3cent peo3ple! If anything it's _3e_ who3 do3esn't deserve friendship. _3e_ who3 do3esn't deserve a seco3nd chance." Floafa begins tearing up again.

"Oh." Momo says.

Floafa sighs, getting up and going over to talk to Denki.

"HI." Danko says.

"Hi…" Floafa responds, sighing.

She hugs Danko for comfort, tears.

"Why crai?" He ask.

Floafa mumbles something, hugging him tighter.

"What?" He asks.

"No3 wo3rds. O3nly hugs." She responds.

"Oh." He says.

tHEN SOMETHING EXPLODEs.

"What happen?" Denk ask Flof.

"I do3n't kno3w." She responds. "But I think so33ething explo3ded."

"bITCH LASAGNA!" Kiri runs by.

Floaf is startle so she hugs Denki tighter.

"T-SERIES!" Crystal yells.

Floafa lets go of Denki, absconding to talk to Bakugo.

"Hey, Bakugo3!~" She chirps, addressing the fUCK.

"WHAt DO YOU WANT?!" He is angery.

"I…just wanted to3 say hi." She smiles.

"GO AWAY BEFORE I SET YOU ON FIRE!" He yells.

Floafa laughs. "Do3 what yo3u please but I'3 no3t leaving! I wanna be friends!"

"GO. AWAY." He growls.

"No3!~" She beams at him. "I. Wanna. Be. Friends. And I'3 no3t leaving until I get what I want!"

"I SAID NO!" He yells.

Floafa pouts angrily. "Yo3u're 3ean, Bakugo3."

"GO AWAY!" Bakahoe yells.

"Why sho3uld I?" She asks. "I'3 rather enjo3ying this ti3e with yo3u! **3** "

He runs away.

She frowns. "3eanie."

She walks away to talk to Mina.

"Bakago3's a 3eanie." Floafa pouts.

"He gay." Mina says.

"I just wanted to3 be his friend." Floafa laughs.

"He gay for Kiri." Mina wheezes.

Floafa walks away towards the Deku.

"Hiya, 3ido3ri!" She smiles at him.

"Hi." He says.

"Whatcha do3in?" She asks.

"Standing here." He says.

"That's co3o3l!" She beams at him. "Standing is fun!"

"Not really." He laughs.

"I sho3uld pro3bably be practicing…but I just wanna talk to3 peo3ple!" She is a happy.

"Go practice…bitch." He laughs.

"Naaah! I've do3ne eno3ugh! I can 3ake half an o3bject!" She is silently triggered that he swore. "O3h! And also3- Do3n't swear again o3r I'3 go3nna wash yo3ur 3o3uth o3ut with liquid so3ap."

"O-Ok." He is frightened.

"Byeee!~" She absconds to the next person, who is Todoroki.

"Bye." He says.

She approaches the peppermint. "Hi, To3do3!~"

"Hi." He says.

"Whatcha do3o3in?" She beams at him.

"Practicing my quirk." He says.

"That's… **co3o3l**." She smiles. "O3r sho3uld I say that's ho3t?"

"...That was bad." He says with a straight face.

"O3nly the best bad jo3kes!" She laughs.

"Sure." He sigh.

"I get the feeling I'3 anno3ying yo3u." She chuckles.

"No. You're not annoying me." He says.

"Go3o3d!" She smiles.

"Why did you come talk to me?" He asks.

"Why no3t?" She replies.

"Why me of all people?" He asks.

"I like talking to3 peo3ple! It do3esn't 3atter that yo3u're perverted o3r that yo3u do3n't see3 to3 like 3e very 3uch! I have no3 friends!"

"Er…I'm not perverted." He says.

"It's fine to3 e3brace it!~" She chirps. "Anyways. I'3 go3nna go3 talk to3 o3ther peo3ple no3w byee!"

"Bye." He says.

She goes off to visit Yuga.

"Hey!" She yells, smiling.

"Hi!" He smiles.

"So3…I fo3rgo3t to3 ask." She beams at him. "What even _is_ yo3ur quirk?"

"I can shoot beams from my belly button." He says.

Floafa isn't sure what to say. "O3h…wait, what's a belly butto3n?"

"It's a thing humans are born with." He says.

"But… _what_ is it?" She asks. "A-And what do3es it lo3o3k like?"

"It's a small hole on your belly." Yuga says.

"What?! Why?" She yells.

"Why what?" He asks.

"Why do3 hu3ans have ho3les in their bo3dies?" She asks, alarmed.

"Uh…" Yuga is die.

"So3…hu3ans have a ho3le…here?" She pokes his belly.

"Bitch nah." He hop away.

"Wait…what?" She cocks her head to the side.

"Don't touch me." He says.

"Sorry." She smiles at him. "But…I just want to3 kno3w 3o3re abo3ut hu3ans."

"I don't know! Ask one of your friends." He dies.

"Yo3u are o3ne o3f 3y friends." She replies.

"That isn't me." He says.

"Can I see it?" She asks, giggling.

"No." He says.

"Aw o3kay." She smiles. "I'3 go3nna go3 talk to3 so33eo3ne else no3w!"

She runs off, scanning the area for her next victim.

"3INETA!" She yells, running towards him.

"WHAT?!" He yells, angery.

"TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT! NOW!" She yells.

"WHY?!" He yleleles.

"Iö3go3 to3ld 3e that hu3ans have ho3les in their bo3dy and I wanna kno3w 3o3re!" She yells, determined.

"I am not taking my shirt off." He says.

"Please! I wanna kno3w! I wanna kno3w!" She chants, hopping up and down impatiently.

"Ask someone else." He growls.

"But…" She sighs.

"No buts." He salty.

"Pleeeease!" She smiles at him. "I just wanna see!"

"No." He says.

"Fine." She sighs. "Bye!"

She fuckin **sprints** towards Bakugo. "BAKUGO3 TAKE O3FF YO3UR FUCKING SHIRT!"

"WHAT WHY?!" He yells.

"YUGA TO3LD 3E THAT HU3ANS HAVE HO3LES IN THEIR BO3DIES AND I NEED TO3 SEE!" She yells.

"SEARCH IT UP! I'M NOT TAKING MY SHIRT OFF!" He yells.

"NO3! TAKE O3FF YO3UR GO3DDAMN SHIRT O3R I'3 TAKING IT O3FF FO3R YO3U!" She yells, bloosh.

"NO!" He fucking runs.

~A couple more failed attempts later~

Floafa sighs, returning to Mineta. "I have asked **everyo3ne**."

"SEARCH IT UP!" Minta yells.

Floafa groans. "But I do3n't wanna!"

"Then you'll never know!" He says.

Floafa grumbles angrily. "Yo3u're no3 help!"

"F u." He says.

" **This is why we bro3ke up.** " She salts, leaving.

He leaves, hurt.

Floafa walks over to Denki. "Hey, Denki!~"

"SHITSHITSHIT-" He trips.

"Are yo3u o3kay?" She asks, concerned.

"I'msorrybutI'mnottakingmyshirtoffeither." He says.

"W-What?" She snorts. "No3! That's no3t why I'3 here!"

"But…why _is_ everyo3ne so3 against taking their shirt o3ff? I do3n't see what's so3 weird abo3ut it."

"It's kinda weird to just approach someone and yell at them to take off their shirt." He says.

"But…why? What's o3f value under peo3ple's shirts?" She asks.

"Nothing. Some people just like kEEPING THEIR CLOTHES ON." He laughs.

"Is it-…I 3ean…why?" She is confused. "I'd take 3y shirt o3ff right no3w!"

"Don't." He says.

"Why no3t? The o3nly thing under it is 3y grub scars, bello3wsac enclo3sures and 3y pro3trusio3n ha33o3ck." She scoffs.

"You will get in trouble." He says.

"Why?" She asks.

"It is against the rules." He says.

She sighs. "Da3n."

She just hugs him.

He hug bacc.

He sm _ **oil**_ s.

*bRiGgnINigniirngrI*

Then the next class is History.

Everyone gets to class and sits down, waiting for Midnight.

"AAAAaaaaaaaAa!" Crystal is high.

Midnight runs in and yells. "HIT OR MiSs?"

"I GUESS THEY NEVER 3ISS! HUH?" Floafa shoots up.

"YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND I BET HE DOESN'T KISS YA! MWAH!" Midnight yells.

"HE GON FIND ANOTHER GIRL AND HE WON'T MISS YA! HE GON SKRRT AND HIT THE DAB BY WIZ KHALIFA!" She hits the dab.

Floafa cheers.

"aLrigGHT Now gOo mEeT with YouR pARTnERs." Midnigg yells.

Floafa approaches the Midnight. "I-…I do3n't like Yuga…and I'3 90% sure he's gay."

"Ok." Mignig says.

"Bakugo will be shipped with Floafa." She says.

Floafa is about to say something but just smirks.

"Now go do whatever. BUT NO FUCKING IN THIS CHRISTIAN cLASSROOM."

Floafa raises her hand. "Do3es that 3ean we can fuck in the halls, 3iss?"

"No." Midnight says.

Floafa laughs, approaching Bakugo.

"Oh shit oh fuck-" Bakugo dies.

"Hey~ **3** " She smirks.

"No." He says.

"No3 to3 what?" She raises a brow.

"No." He hug her.

She bloosh, surprised.

He smile.

"Uh…Bakugo3 are yo3u feeling alright?" She asks, hesitant to hug him back.

"YEyEe!" He is clearly high.

She smiles at him, hugging him back. "All…right then?"

"OwO." He hugs tighter.

Floafa looks over at Denki for any support whatsoever. "H e l p."

"Nah. This is cute." Danko laughs.

Floafa just paps Bakugo's hair awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

" **Hawt.** " He die.

Floafa laughs, kissing him.

HE kiss BaCc.

Then the drugs wear off.

"WhaT THE FUCK?!" He yells.

"What?" Floafa asks.

"LEt GO OF ME!" He yells.

"Hey, _Yo3u're_ the o3ne who3 grabbed _3e_." She smirks.

"Wait what?" He asks.

She laughs. "Yeah. Yo3u just kinda…hugged 3e and said I was ho3t so3…"

"kATY PERRY!" Todo yells.

"WaItWaHttheFUCk?" He asks.

"Yo3u're a pretty go3o3d kisser~" She smirks, moving close to him.

He blooshees and moves back.

"Yo3u were being pretty cute." She says.

"Oh." He bloosh **hard**.

She moves **very** close to him, biting her lip and smorking.

"Stop." He says.

"Yo3u started it~" She purrs, kissing his neck.

"StoP." He repeats, backing away.

"Yo3u're no3 fun." She pouts. "Co33e o3n!~ We're shipped fo3r a reaso3n."

"Go AwAy." He bloosh.

"Please? Just fo3r to3day?~" She pleads. "It do3esn't have to3 3ean anything~"

"F-FINE." He blosh.

Floafa slams him against a wall, passionately kissing him.

He kisses back, starting to get a little "touchy feely".

She lightly tugs at the rim of his boxers, pulling herself closer to him.

 _ **r.**_

Nobody wants to say anything about it, because the two most violent kids in the class are…getting to know one another let's just say.

Then the bell rings, being a toTAl COCKbloKC.

Everyone gets to go back to their dorms or just fucking die.

Floafa takes Bakugo back to her dorm room, where immediately she kisses him.

"Will yo3u take yo3ur shirt o3ff fo3r 3e no3w?~" She purrs.

"I'll take more than that off." He replies.

Then they get frrrisky. _**OwO time to write this in my book of lemons ?**_

~U h m next day I guess? Owo~

Floafa wakes up next to Bakugo, both of them only wearing boxers.

She gets up, putting on her top and stealing his pants to wear for the day, absconding out the window.

She meets up with the squado. "Ayo3."

"Why?" Mina asks.

"Why what?" Floafa asks.

"Why?" Mina points at pants.

"Because I wanted to3." Floafa responds. "And also3 Bakugo3's go3nna be fo3rced to3 wear 3y skirt."

"WHy?" Mina asks.

"Because these are _his_ pants." Floafa snickers.

"Why?" Mina sksa.

Floafa just dabs.

Mina dabs back.

Floafa screams in fear.

"I AM SUPERIOR!" Mina T pOseS.

Floafa slaps her wordlessly.

"OOF!" Mina yells.

Floafa does finger guns. "No3w, let's go3 before Bakugo3 wakes up and kills 3e."

"Oof you're gonna die." Todo snaps.

"No3t if I can help it. I go3t the vo3id o3n 3y side." She smiles. "No3w let's go3!"

He gasp. "OwO."

They abscond to the class owo.

"bITCH WHAT THE FUCK?!" Bakuhoe is angery.

"Go3o3d 3o3rning to3 yo3u to3o3." Floafa smiles.

HE yeLL.

Floafa dies inside. "Ho3w lo3vely."

"GIVE ME MY PANTS BACK!" He yells.

"Do3 yo3u just want 3e to3 strip?" She asks, feeling a little weird. "Because I'3 no3t sure I'3 co33fo3rtable taking 3y pants o3ff in the 3iddle o3f the classro3o33."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" He angery.

"Well, ho3w a3 I suppo3sed to3 give the3 back then?" She cocks her head to the side.

"sWAP." He syas.

"Yeah, but do3n't we have to3 _take the3 o3ff_ to3 swap?" She facepalms. "Besides! Yo3u lo3o3k go3o3d in a skirt!"

"SHUT UP!" He yells.

"Answer 3e." She states.

"NO." He yells.

"Then I ho3pe yo3u enjo3y wearing 3y skirt." She begins doodling something, snapping a pic of him on her phone.

He storms out of the classroom.

She snickers. "That's what I tho3ught."

Mr. Owo enters the room and dies. "Hello welcome back to hell."

"I lo3ve hell." Floafa smoiles.

"OwO." Crystal states.

"AlRight go die." Mr. Owo says to the children.

Floafa approapches him, casually leaning on table. "So3…"

"What?" He asks.

"What-" She accidentally slips, hitting the ground. "fUCK."

She gets back up, forcing a smile. "What's yo3ur quirk?"

"I can erase people's quirks just by looking at them." He says.

Floafa isn't even sure what to say. "Go3o3d luck eraSING 3INE!"

"But if I blink then they can use their quirks again." He continues.

"So3…do3 yo3u just no3t blink?" She asks.

"I do. Just not when I'm using my quirk." He says.

"Ah." She gives a thumbs up. "That's actually pretty co3o3l."

"But my eyes do get pretty dry when I do that." He says.

"Huh." She states. "Yo3u're actually 3y favo3rite teacher."

"Wow thanks." He smiles.

She smiles back, bloosh.

He pulls some eyedrops out of his pocket.

"O3wo3?" Floafa asks.

"What?" He asks.

"Uhm…why?" She points to the dorps.

"My eyes get very dry when I use my quirk. And I use my quirk a lot." He says.

"…Are yo3u using yo3ur quirk?" She asks.

"No." He says.

"Interesting." She sits on tablr4tgm5jth6jy.

"It's actually pretty easy to tell if I'm using my quirk or not." He states.

"Ho3w do3 yo3u tell?" She asks, intrigued.

"My eyes go red and my hair raises." He says.

"What? That's co3o3l." She smoiles.

"Sometimes I just erase people's quirks for fun." He laughs.

"That so3unds like it'd be a fun quirk to3 have!" She beams.

"It is. But not when I'm in battle." He states.

"I guess." She chuckles. "3ine isn't very useful in battle o3ther than it gives 3e weapo3ns."

"What's your quirk?" He asks.

"I can just kinda…su33o3n stuff fro33 no3where…but 3o3st o3f the ti3e it's just…" She does a demonstration and it's just a _**perfectly generic object**_. "This."

"Ah." He says.

"I'3 o3nly go3o3d at 3aking very few o3bjects, like 3ugs o3r sunglasses." She admits.

"Oh." He says.

Floafa isn't sure how to expand on the conversation. "So3…"

"What?" He asks.

"Christ3as is to33o3rro3w." She smiles.

"And?" He asks.

"Uh…is anything happening fo3r Christ3as?" She awkwardly says.

"Yes." He says.

"…What?" She ass.

"We will celebrate Christmas." He says.

"Yeah but ho3w?" She asks, laughing.

"You will have no classes for the day and there will be a party." He states.

"No3 class? Aw." She frowns. "I kinda like sho3wing up here every day."

"What?" He asks.

"I 3ean…I like learning here. It's fun!" She beams at him.

"Learning? You barely do anything!" He laughs.

"That's why I lo3ve co33ing here!" She chuckles. "We learn the ways o3f no3t do3ing anything! And yo3u're the best at teaching that."

"Yeah." He says.

"I'3 go3nna get yo3u a Christ3as present!" She smiles.

"Oh." He says.

thEn bell.

Floafa waves to Aizowo, absconding to the next class which is NoNE othE rthNA hEORICS.

They all go off to do their thing excep Floafa who just wants to chat with people.

Mineta aporpches the Floafa.

Aizowo fuckin **glares** at him.

"Hi." Mineta is grape.

"Hello3." Floafa smiles.

Crystal is just there.

"So…do you wanna fuck hang yourself out after classes?" Mineta asks the Floafa.

Floafa smiles, putting her hand atop his head and avoiding those damn grapes. "O3f co3urse!"

Crystal narrows her eyes at the grape.

Floafa laughs, not noting that everyone **fucking hates** Mineta and leaving. "I'3 go3nna go3 ruin so33eo3ne's day! Bye!~"

She saunters off to talk to Iida for no reason.

" **W.** " She smiles.

" **W** hat?" He asks.

" **W!** " She repeats, beaming.

" **W?** " He asks.

" **W!** " She laughs.

"No." He super speeds away.

"Why do3es no3bo3dy lo3ve 3e?" She frowns, looking for someone else to talk to.

She walks over to Yuga, just staring at him.

"What?" He asks.

"Why do3es no3bo3dy lo3ve 3e?" She whines.

"FUCK COMMUNISM!" Crystal yells.

Floafa stares at Yuga, waiting for a response.

"Communism?" He asks.

She sighs, looking down. "No3bo3dy ever wants to3 talk to3 3e."

"UHhHhh." He dies inside.

She just hugs him. "I wanna be beautiful and co3o3l like yo3u! 3aybe then peo3ple will care abo3ut 3e…"

He fucking rUNs. "No."

Floafa is gonna cry. "O3k then…"

She walks over to Deku and just hugs him, crying.

"Why are you crying?" Deku asks.

"No3bo3dy likes 3e." She whines.

"They probably just want to practice their quirks." He says.

"B-But they…" She sniffles, continuing to sob.

"What?" He asks.

"Everyo3ne just leaves 3ee." She is an upset.

"They probably just have other things to do." He says.

"Do3 _yo3u_ have o3ther things to3 do3?" She asks, hopefully.

"Yeah but it's not important." He says.

She smiles, hugging him tighter. "Go3o3d."

She doesn't let go of him for the rest of the class.

Then brIIing. Bell goes.

The children go for feeding time.

The squad do their thing and all cram into one table despite the fact nobody can actually fit anymore.

Floafa is just touching her left arm, questioning why it exists.

Then it doesn't.

She stays silent, fearful of the fact hER ARM JUST FUCKING GAVE UP ON EXISTING.

"Guuuys?" She eventually calls to the rest of the squad.

"What?" Mina asks.

Floafa isn't sure what to say, she just kinda stares at the absence. "I-…help?"

"What happened?" Todo asks.

"I'3…no3t sure. It was there and no3w it's no3t. It just gave up…like 3e." She responds. "And no3w I'3 no3t sure what to3 do3."

"Oh." He says.

"W-What do3 I do3?" She asks.

"I don't know." He says.

"Well what do3 yo3u think I sho3uld do3?" She is concerned.

"Get a teacher?" He asks.

Floafa isn't sure how to do that so she just stays awkwardly silent.

"What happen?" All Might exists.

Floafa doesn't say anything, not really liking All Might.

She just gets up and moves to sit with Mineta. (Who I can only imagine sits alone)

"Hey." She smiles, feeling tired.

"He-" He begins. "WhaT hapPENed to yOur arM?"

She sighs, sitting down and just resting her head on his shoulder. "That's a lo3ng sto3ry fo3r ano3ther ti3e."

He bloosh from contact. "Oh."

She looks up at him and smiles, starting to feel more drowsy.

She notices his blush and laughs, only making him blush harder.

Then bell goes for History.

The children abscond and Floafa fUCKING DIES when they get to class.

She approaches the Bakugo.

"GO AWaY!" Bakugo is angry.

"Yo3u really _do3_ lo3o3k go3o3d in that skirt." She smiles, leaning on his desk.

"FUCK OFF. I HATE YOU." He salt.

"Thanks!" Floafa smiles.

"FUCK YO u." He waddles away.

"I'3 sure yo3u'd like to3." She laughs. "wAIT! YO3U CAN'T LEAVE 3E- Why are yo3u waddling?"

"Waddle waddle." He waddles away.

She just follows him. "Yo3u're no3t allo3wed to3 leave 3e."

"fINE!" He fUCKING RUNS.

Floafa sighs, approaching the Iida. "Iida, are yo3u a W?"

He does the W.

Floafa blushes, feeling **weird**. "O3h."

He super speeds away.

She is upset. "Why?"

"Why what?" Todo asks.

Floafa is spooked by him. "Why do3es no3bo3dy like 3e?"

"What makes you think that nobody likes you?" He asks.

"Everyo3ne keeps leaving 3e when I just wanna talk to3 the3." She is upsetti spaghetti.

"Is that why Iida just sped out of the room?" He asks.

"Yes." She frowns. "No3bo3dy likes 3e."

"He probably had other things to do." He says.

"In the 3iddle o3f class?" She asks.

"I guess." He shrugs.

"What do3 yo3u 3ean by o3ther things? Who3 just do3es stuff in the 3iddle o3f class?" She cocks her head to the side.

"Well, his brother is in the hospital. He might have went to visit him." He says.

"Well, what abo3ut o3ther peo3ple?" She asks.

"Who?" He asks.

"Bakugo3…Yuga. Whenever I talk to3 peo3ple they just leave 3e." She is an upset.

"Well…Bakugo's an asshole and Yuga is just…weird." Todo says. "Don't take it personally."

"Thanks, To3do3." She smiles, sauntering off to go speak with new humans.

Then class end owo.

They all go to English class.

Iida returns from Hell.

"Hello class!" The teacher smoil.

"Hello3…yo3u." Floafa responds, smile.

"EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT THE PROS AND CONS OF HAVING FRIENDS!" The teacher yells. "YOU WILL BE WORKInG IN PARTNErS!"

Floafa raises her hand. "What if yo3u do3n't have any friends?"

"Ask your partner." He says.

She nods. "Will we get to3 cho3o3se o3ur partners?"

"NOPE!" The teacher smiles.

"Floafa will be with Iida, Crystal will be with Kirishima." He reads a wheel.

Floafa smiles at Iida, laughing about the wheel.

Kiri smiles at CRUidFt.

After everyone gets their partners they go and meet up with them.

"Yay! No3w yo3u're fo3rced to3 talk to3 3e!" Floafa smiles.

"Oh." Iida says.

She hugs him, happy boi.

"Stop." He removes arm.

"Why?" She asks. "I wanna hug! I like yo3u!"

"Can we just start working on the essay?" He asks.

"Do3 yo3u no3t like 3e?" She frowns.

"I don't even know you." He says.

"Yeah, because yo3u leave every ti3e I try to3 talk to3 yo3u." She responds.

"Can we just start working on the essay instead of talking?" He asks.

"Why do3 yo3u leave 3e every ti3e I try to3 talk to3 yo3u, Iida?" She asks bacc.

"I have more important things to do." He states.

Floafa is just upset by this.

They start the essay.

Floafa's still really sad though and Iida doesn't seem to notice that he's being a cUC.

"Why are yo3u so3 3ean to3 3e?" She asks randomly in the middle of it, rolling up a random newspaper. "I like yo3u and yet yo3u're rude to3 3e."

"Work on the damn essay." He salts.

Floafa hits him on the head with the newspaper. "Fine, bitch."

They WORK ON ASSay.

"Do3 yo3u hate 3e?" She asks him.

"No, you're just annoying sometimes." He says.

She frowns. "Aw. I just wanna fuck be friends."

Crystal slams her face on the desk.

"Crystal are yo3u o3kay?" Floafa asks, leaving Iida because he's being a cunt.

"No." Crystal slams her face again.

"Sto3p it." Floafa says.

"Why?" Crystal asks.

"I do3n't want yo3u to3 get die." Floafa responds.

"What if I want to die?" Crystal slams face.

"NO!" Todo yells from somewhere.

"WHY NoT?!" Crystal yells bacc.

"nO!" He yells again.

"NO WHAT?" Crystal is confuse.

"Don'T DIE." Vsauce.

"What's happening?" Danko asks.

Floafa just goes back to Iida, grabbing a pencil and putting it against the place where her arm is missing.

Crystal keeps slamming her face on the desk.

"UH HUH! THIS 3Y SHIT!" Floafa stands up. "ALL THE GIRLS STA3P YO3UR FEET LIKE THIS!"

"Few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna happen like that." Mina continues.

"'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl!" Yuga yells.

"I ain't no hollaback girl!" Mineta fucking dies.

They all continue the rest of the song together.

Crystal looks like she gonna stab herself with a pencil.

"Pen island." Floafa states, trying to write with her left arm without her left arm.

Crystal fUcKIng StABS HErSELF.

"O3h no3." Floafa states, dying inside.

She pulls her other arm into her shirt, making her look armless.

She then disobeys consent and just fucking kisses Iida, running for her life.

 _ **r.**_

He super sped out room.

bEll.

 **H.**

Floafa returns to sit with the squad, just managing to space.

Crystal is still bleed.

Floafa laughs. "Help3e."

"wHY?" Cryat asks.

"I jUSt FuckINg KisSeD IIDA!" Floafa slams her face on the table.

"BitCH I FUCKING STABBED MYSELF!" Crystal salts.

"YO3UR WO3UNDS WILL HEAL." Floafa blooshes aggressively. "3INE WILL NO3T."

"YOUR SITUAtIoN IS NOT IMPORTANT!" Crystal yells.

"HE HAD A FUCKING **ERECTIO3N** FRO33 IT." Floafa wheezes. "I HATE 3YSELF."

"SO?! I HATE MYSELF ALL THE DAMN TIME!" Crystal snarls.

"DID YO3U NO3T HEAR THE FIRST PART?!" Floafa yells, blooshgin.

"I DID BUT I DON'T CARE!" CRust is sLAty.

"You did WHaT?" Todo is frightened.

"I KISSED IIDA." She yells.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" He yells.

"I'3 NO3T EVEN SURE!" She buries her face in her hands.

"JEsUS CHRIST!" Crystal slams her face on the tabel.

Floafa is dying inside.

"What's the date today?" Mina asks.

"Dec 24th?" Floafa responds. "Why the fuck do3es that 3atter I'3 having an e3o3tio3nal crisis here."

Crystal wheezes. "SToP."

"WAIt. ISn'TT JeSUs b_Day TommorSow?" Mina asks, clearly high.

"Yes. Jesus Christ was bo3rn to33o3rro3w why?" Floafa cocks her head.

"Jesus?" Mina points at Crystal.

"Yes. Jesus." Floafa replies. "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus. I'3 a Satanist."

"StOp." Crystal dies.

Floafa laughs, blushing about earlier.

"Kiribaku." Crystal wheezes.

Floafa punches her in the face, leaving.

"WhY THE FUCK?!" Crystal yells.

Floafa doesn't respond.

She just walks away to go sit with Mineta again.

"No." He says.

"What?" She asks.

"Go away." He says.

"Why? I tho3ught we were friends." She frowns, sitting next to him. "What's wro3ng?"

"I'm fine. Just leave me alone." He slats.

"Did I do3 so33ething wro3ng?" She asks. "I-I'3 so3rry."

"Go. Away." He says.

"Alright…" She sighs, walking away.

She returns to the squado.

"Why'd you leave?" Crystal growls.

"Fuck yo3u." Floafa responds.

"Why did you leave?" She growls again.

"Fuck. Yo3u." Floafa repeats, sipping some tea.

"Answer my question." Crystal is angery.

"I just did." Floafa continues drinking her tea.

"I hate myself." Crystal growls, slamming her face on table.

"I think 3ineta's angry at 3e." Floafa responds.

"So?" Crystal growls.

"And I'3 upset abo3ut it." Floafa continues.

"Get over it." Crystal says.

"No3bo3dy likes 3e any3o3re." Floafa sighs.

"That was a lie." Crystal growls. "People care about you. But nobody cares about me."

"To3do3 cares abo3ut yo3u tho3ugh." Floafa responds.

"Really? Or is he just lying to me?" Crystal growls.

Floafa shoves Todoroki towards her, just wandering off to do her own thing.

Todo kiss owowowowoowowowowo.

*Belbring*

The next cass is Herolicks

Floafa has returned to the squad, bummed out. "I've been thinking abo3ut stuff…and 3aybe…"

She trails off, staring at the ground.

"What?" Denki asks, being a good.

"3aybe du3ping 3ineta was a 3istake…" She sighs.

"No." He says.

"Yes." She replies. "No3w…everything's wo3rse."

"It won't get any different if you get back together with that prick." He says.

"Ho3w do3 yo3u kno3w that?" She responds, desperately.

"I know from experience." He says.

"Yo3u dated 3ineta?" She asks, laughing.

"NO!" He laughs.

"What do3 yo3u 3ean by 'experience' then?" She asks.

"I dated someone before." He state.

"O3k…were they 3ean to3 yo3u o3r…did yo3u just want to3 thro3w that o3ut there?" She chuckles.

"I…just wanted to throw that out there." He laughs.

"But…3aybe I sho3uld give 3ineta a seco3nd chance." She sighs.

"You shouldn't. He's had many chances already." Denki states.

"But…" She begins.

"No." He says.

"Yo3u'RE NO3T 3Y 3O33!" She yells.

"Yeah I am." He says.

"3y 3o33 fucking died." She replies.

"I'm your new mom then." He says.

"Well…fUCK YO3U, 3O33! I CAN DO3 WHAT I WANT!" She yells.

"YOU'RE GROUNDED!" He yells.

"EAT 3Y ASS." She walks on over to talk to the Mineta.

"NO." Denk follows.

"Hey, 3ineta!~" Floafa chips, approaching the grape.

"Hi." Minet smiles.

"We need to3 talk abo3ut so33ething." She gives a sweet smile.

"Floafa, stop." Danko says. "Now."

Floafa just glares at him for a while and then goes back to speaking. "Anyways. I wanted to3 talk to3 yo3u abo3ut…relatio3nships."

"No." Mineta says.

"No3no3no3. It's uh…" She blushes. "Abo3ut… _o3ur_ relatio3nship."

"Stop!" Daki yells.

"What is it?" Mineta asks.

"Uhh…" Floafa is bloosh.

Danki drags Floaf away.

Mineta is just left confused.

"wHAT WAS THAT FO3R?" Floafa yells.

"HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT." Danko says.

Floafa growls. "YES HE DO3ES."

"NO HE DOESN'T!" Denki yells.

"WHY NO3T?!" She is anger.

"HE IS SUPER FUCKING PERVERTED AND HE'S AN ASSHOLE!" He yells.

Floafa slaps him. "DO3N'T SWEAR!"

"DON'T GET WITH HIM!" He slaps her back.

"I CAN DO3 WHAT I WANT!" She yells.

He slaps her, accidentally electrocuting her.

Floafa growls, punching him in the gut and storming off.

She sits down somewhere and just cries.

Denki fucking dies.

Floafa just sobs alone for the rest of the class.

~Bell bring and the next class is Meth~

They all go to Meth class and sit down.

Floafa just slams her head on her desk and keeps it there.

Danko is dying inside

Floafa just doesn't fucking want to exist.

She very closely inspects her desk, crying.

"Are you ok?" Todo asks.

"No3…" Floafa sniffles, facing him.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I-…I think…" She awkwardly moves closer to whisper. "I think breaking up with 3ineta was a 3istake and no3w Denki's angry and…"

"I'm not angry." Denki states.

"Well, yo3u electro3cuted 3e!" She tear.

"It was an accident!" He says.

"And yo3u also3 wo3n't let 3e 3ake 3y o3wn decisio3ns in life!" She yells.

He a silent boi.

She sighs. "I'3 just…go3nna go3 early to3day."

She gets up and leaves.

"Oh fucc." Mina says.

~cHriS Man~

Floafa wakes up, putting on a reindeer onesie and absconding through her fucking window.

She meets up with the squado, smiling happily. "Go3o3d 3o3rning!~"

"OwO." Crusyrdsef states.

Floafa just hugs Denki, murdering him.

"AAAAAA!" He is dying.

She hugs him tighter, smiling. "3o3rning, Denki!"

"Morning-" He fuckin electrocutes.

Floafa is frighten so she just kicks away. "nO3!"

"Sorry!" He says.

"It's o3kay!" She beams at him, giving a thumbs up. "Let's go3 no3w!"

They all abscond and while their backs are turned Floafa gains a robotic arm.

Denki seaesdds. "WAHt?!"

"What?" Floaf asks.

"ArM." He points.

She looks over at it. "O3h yeah that exists."

"How?" He asks.

She shrugs. "No3w let's go3!"

"Where?" He asks.

"…To3 the party?" She responds.

"Yeet!" Crystal fuckin runs.

They all go to party.

Floafa just kinda walks over to a wall and stands there, just waiting.

She notices the decorations for Christmas, along with some mistletoe here and there courtesy of Midngiht.

"AAAAA." Crystal yells.

Mineta just stands next to Floafa cause he literally has no other friends.

There's just music playing and no talking being done between the two.

"So3…" Floafa states, looking out on the amount of people.

"PPP!" Henry announces, doing orange justice.

Mineta just kISSES FLOAFA.

"WhY THE FUCK EW!" Mina yells.

Floafa is just shocked and can't fucking speak.

Mineta points up.

 **FUCKING MIDNIGHT.**

There is mistletoe above them.

Floafa bursts out laughing. "3o3therfucker!"

Crystal laughs hARd.

"BITCH NO!" Deki yells.

"Cal3 do3wn, Denki." Floafa laughs. "It's co333o3n co3urtesy to3 kiss so33eo3ne under the 3istleto3e!"

"FUufxck!" He spazzes out.

Floafa just grabs a dranko danko, sipping it.

She immediately spits it out. "iS THIS ALCO3HO3LIC?!"

"Alcohol?" Crystal asks.

Floafa just stares at the drink, aggressively downing it. "I'3 GO3NNA 3AKE BAD DECISIO3NS TO3NIGHT!"

"Oh fucc." Crystal says.

Floafa is just drinking way too much alcohol for one 15 year old.

"Floafa stop. You're scaring me." Todo says.

Floafa just cheers, clearly past the point of "a little too much to drink".

"GO3F UKYO3RUSELF." She yells, her cheeks tinted violet from the alcohol.

BOom anOTHer MistLeTOE EXisTs.

Floafa begins laughing like a retard. "Do3n lo3o3kno3w bt. 3issileto3e"

"Waitwhat?" Crystaa looks up. "fUCk!"

Floafa points above Crystal and Todo. "No3w keeeys."

"DIE." Crystal says.

Floafa continues laughing, drinking **more**.

Cryst tries to escapae mistletoe.

Todo just kisses her, having to bend down because she's so short.

Floafa laughs, kissing Mineta again. "I lo3af u!"

Mineta goes red. "What?"

"Ilo3evyu." She repeats, hugging him.

He bloosh harder. "You're drunk!"

Crystal stands on top of a table and fucking attacks Todo.

Floafa picks Mineta up. "Po3pel o3nlly spek thetro3th whentheyr' drunk!~"

"WHY THE FUcK?!" Dank is confuse

Floafa looks over, confused. "Wat?"

"WHaT THe FUCk IS Happen?"

Floafa hugs Mineta close. "I lo3v thsi grap."

"NO POMEGRANATES!" Crystal nearly breaks Todo's back.

"No pomegranates?" Dank asks.

Floafa hugs her Mineta as tight as possible. "Yur 3yy grapeee."

Mineta bloosh. "N-No."

Crystal grabb drink.

Floafa puts Mineta down. "Water we suspo3ded t do3 fr next 6 o3r so3o3 ho3urs?'

Mineta shrugs, grabbing a drink or **t e n.**

"Wanna sprite cranberry?" Crystl wheezes.

"Nein." Floafa is upset by this.

She delivers a chrismtas present to Aizawa. "3ery Chrit3as."

"What the fuk?" He owos so hard.

"O3pen it." She states.

He opens it.

It's a white mug with "OwO" on it in black text.

Floafa laughs, absconding.

Mineta is still drinking.

"Ey 3inet." She laughs. "Wo3o3d driknign wine be weerid fo3r u? Cuz ur a grap an al."

"FUCK COMMUNISM!" Crystal yells.

"…Why?" He asks Floaf.

She laughs, hugging him. "3 bo3ard."

"Fuck off." Crystssd salt.

"Eyy, 3intea." Floafa moves really close to him /¬ w ¬/. "Wana go3bac to3 3y dor3333?~"

"No." Mintwa says.

"Plleeeeaaasse?' She asks, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"No." He says.

"But I 3iss yo3o3o3uuuuu!" She smiles, kissing him.

He bloosh. "N-No. You're drunk stop."

"So3 whaaat?" She giggles. "It's fiiine!"

"No. It's not fine. Stop." He says.

Floafa crosses her arms. "Buzzkill."

He continues drinking.

She's just talking to people about shit for like the next hour or so while Mineta just fucking **drinks**.

Floafa approaches him once more. "O3kayo3kayo3kay. So3…if I-…will yo3u sleep with 3e if I…uh…d-"

"Yes." Mineta responds. "I'll sleep with you no matter what."

She perks up. "O3kay then! That was easy."

She takes him by the hand and the two go back to her dorm room.

He pins her down on her bed, kissing her neck.

She moans, wrapping her legs around him.

He _swiftly_ yet messily removes his pants.

And then they do the nasty. O w O

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Todo is dying.

Everything is going fine until Denki notices the absence of a certain Floafa. "Where'd Floafa go?"

"HeLL!" Crystal dies.

"OH." He says.

"COOL CAT LOVES TO BOOGY WOOGY!" Crystal wheezes.

The party continues for the next **5 hours**.

~Nex day~

"THATS's horRIBLE! I LOvE BabIES!" Cool cat.

"OWOwOWO!" CryatL wheezes.

Floafa leaps out her window, wearing her own outfit because honestly fuck the school uniform.

She looks half-dead and walks over to the group.

"Cool cat fucking dies." Crystal OwOs so hard.

Floafa just sighs, not amused. "Co3o3l."

"Are you ok?' Crystl owows.

"No3." Floafa replies.

"What happen? Do you need a band-aid?" Crystal asks.

"I have a hango3ver." Floafa replies. "So3 shut the fuck up."

"Why are you out here then?" Crsyt ask.

"Because I care eno3ugh abo3ut-…I do3n't need to3 tell _yo3u_ , actually." Floafa says, taking Tylenol without a drink or anything.

"What?" Crystato asks.

"What what?" Floafa responds.

"What were you gonna say?" Crystal asks.

"It do3esn't 3atter." Floafa sighs.

"K." Crystal says.

"Why did you leave the party **5 hours early?** " Denki asks. "What were you doing?"

"3ineta." Floafa responds, snorting.

"That's gross." Crystal says.

Floafa just laughs. "Yep. No3w let's go3 to3 class."

The childreno abscond to class, taking their seats.

Mineta shows up later, looking somehow more dead than Floafa.

"Hango3ver?" She asks him, not even looking in his direction.

"Yes." He grumbles.

She hands him a bottle of Tylenol. "This'll help."

"Is this cyanide or something?" He asks, taking it.

"I wish. It's just Tyleno3l." She replies.

"I wish you would just die. Both of you." Crystal salts.

"That's rude." Floafa states. "Say so3rry."

"Why should I?" Crystal salts.

"Because-…I do3n't feel like arguing I'3 so3 _tired_." Floafa sighs, stretching out and yawning.

Aizowo enters with the fucking mug.

He takes a long sip of whatever the fuck is in the mug. "Fuck you."

"Wo3rds o3f wisdo33." Floafa laughs.

"Hahaha." He sarcasm.

"Ok listen up you little shits. Project." He states.

Floafa rests her head on the desk. "UwU."

"The whole class is involved. Everyone has to say 'OwO' at the same time." He says.

Floafa just pulls out her phone to record this for centuries to come.

"Ok go practice the 'OwO'." Aizowo says.

Floaf hugs Mineta. "O3wO3."

Birb head. "OwO?"

Floafa approach the birb man. "O3wO3."

"OwO!" A shadow thing yells.

"What's yo3ur na3e?" Floafa akss birb.

"Tokoyami." He says.

She stays silent for a bit. "Do3 yo3u have a nickna3e?"

"No. Call me Tokoyami." He salty.

"I'3 go3nna call yo3u To3kyo3." She giggles.

"Don't." He sass.

"But yo3ur na3e is to3o3 hard to3 re3e3ber." She whines.

"Write it down then." He ays.

"Can I just call yo3u To3ko3?" She asks.

"Sure." He says.

She smiles. "Well, To3ko3. What's yo3ur quirk?"

"Dark Shadow." He says.

"O3k, but what do3 yo3u do3?" She asks.

Boom a shadow birb appears.

"That's co3o3l." She states, just chill.

"Cool cat." Crystal wheezes.

"This is why yo3u can't 3ake friends." Floafa responds, salt.

"I am really hurt by that." Crystal OWOs.

"Eat 3y ass." Floafa responds.

"Aw." Crystal frowns.

"Anyways…" Floafa goes back over to the grape.

She smiles at him. "Hi!"

He smoile back. "Hey."

"So3…abo3ut last night." She bloosh.

"FUCK OfF." He says, blobsh.

"Is…is that go3nna be a thing?" She asks, her face violet as a grape owo.

His blush depper.

"O3-O3r are we just go3nna…pretend it didn't happen?" Her face gets bloosher.

"Noodles." He states.

"…That wasn't an answer." She sighs. "We sho3uld just pretend it didn't happen…I- I do3n't really wanna…"

"PPP!" Crystal wheezes.

"Sure…" He responds.

"A-And co3ver yo3ur face while yo3u're at it!" Floaf yells.

"Jeez! I'm not _that_ ugly!" He yells, bloosh harder.

Floafa covers her mouth with her hand. "N-No3 it's no3t that it's…yo3ur blush…"

"What about it?" He asks, bloooosh.

"Co3ver it o3r-…o3r I 3ight do3 so33ething I'll regret." She yells, flustered.

Mineta's mind is filled with dirty thoughts so he doesn't cover his blush. "Come at me!"

Floafa begins panting, a blush on her face.

She just bites Mineta's neck, causing bleeding.

He screams, trying to recoil but ultimately failing when her grip is too tight.

She fulfills her vampiric needs, drinking his blood.

He begins crying from the pain.

"Die." Crystal says.

"WHAT THE FUCK, FLOAFA?!" Kiri yells, concerned.

Floafa pulls away from Mineta, looking into his eyes.

She puts a band-aid on the wound and kisses it. "I'3 so3rry…"

Mineta has no words, only fear and sadness.

Floafa kisses him on the forehead, alarming some people in the room.

"I'3 so3rry." She repeats, patting him on the head.

"Gross." Crystal salts.

"Disgusting." Mina agrees with pup.

Floafa hugs Mineta, picking him up.

He's just too frightened to argue or fight back.

"Why the hell?" Todo asks.

"Why the hell what?" Floafa asks, nuzzling Mineta like a fUCKING DEDENNE.

"Why the hell are you back together with this coward?" Todork asks.

"We're… _no3t_ back to3gether?" She responds.

"Well why are you hugging him? And nuzzling him?" He asks.

"We're friends?" She laughs.

"Friends do that?" He asks.

"Yo3u wo3uldn't kno3w. Wo3uld yo3u?" She smiles.

"I have friends. I just don't do that stuff…at least not often." He says.

"But I'3 a girl, so3 I _do3_ \- WAIT WHAT?" She yells. "NO3T O3FTEN?"

"What?" He asks, hoping she didn't grasferfsdzxcccccccc.

"YO3U JUST SAID NO3T O3FTEN." She is confused.

"For what?" He plays dumb.

"Fo3r lo3ving yo3ur friends to3 death." She says, looking at Mineta who is clearly still terrified of her. "What friends have yo3u do3ne this to3, To3do3rk?"

"Do I have to say?" He asks.

"Yes." She replies.

"Momo and Deku." He says.

Floafa snorts. "O3h 3y go3d I never expected to3 hear that."

"What?" Tokoyaoi walks over.

"Hey, To3ko3yao3i." She smiles. "Pepper3int is just being gay."

"He's gay? Who's his boyfriend?" Toko asks.

Mineta has just gone limp, accepting his fate.

"Crystal." Floafa responds. "Crystal is his bo3yfriend."

"I'm not a boy." Crystal says.

"Ho3w do3 yo3u kno3w that?" Floafa asks.

She puts Mineta on the ground because he's too heavy.

He doesn't even move he just questions his existence and leans against her leg.

Todo picks the Floofer up. "Mine."

"That's gay." Floafa responds.

"No." Africa by Toto says.

"O3h shit o3kay then I guess yo3u're right." She states.

Crystal is fucking dying in Todo's grip.

Floafa sighs. "3ineta. Are yo3u o3kay?"

"No." Mineta replies.

~BLEL~

They all go to English class and sit the fck down.

"Welcome class- wait why is Todoroki holding that wolf girl?" The teacher asks.

Floafa is just dragging Mineta behind her, as he has lost all will to do anything. "Because he's a cuc."

"Give me an actual answer, Floafa." The teacher says.

"He fuckin gay for Crystal. That's what." She replies, still just dragging Mineta along like baggage.

"CUC." Mina yells.

"Floafa, let go of him." The teacher says.

Floafa looks down at Mineta. "Are yo3u o3kay with 3e dragging yo3u?"

"Yeah, how else am I supposed to get around?" He replies.

She laughs. "So3 I do3n't have to3 let go3 o3f hi3."

"Let him go." The teacher demands.

"But there's co3nsent." She responds.

"STOP TALKING BACK!" He yells.

"Eat 3y ass." She flips him off, picking Mineta up like her fucking child.

He smacks her with a yardstick.

"aY! YO3U CAN'T DO3 THAT!" She yells. "YO3U CUNT."

"YOU CAN'T FLIP A TEACHER OFF!" He is angery.

Floafa puts Mineta down on the ground, flipping the teacher off with both hands. "Suck it, Teach."

He keeps hitting her.

The two go on like this for a while until Floafa just chucks a water balloon at him and sits down, dragging Mineta along.

She sits him down on her lap, hugging him close to her.

He blushes profusely, clenching his legs together.

She remains oblivious to the fact she's turning him on.

The teacher has just stopped giving a fuck and proceeds to teach. "aLRIght. GO DO THE THING."

Floafa just lets Mineta take her seat as she goes over to speak with and **seduce** Iida.

"Hiii!~" She smiles at him. "Ho3w are yo3u do3ing?"

"Go away." He says.  
"I-…we're wo3rking to3gether? I can't?" She replies, laughing.

"Let me do it myself. Go away." He salts.

"Are yo3u e3barrassed abo3ut the last class?" She asks, taking a seat.

"I am not. Just go away. Please." He says.

She smirks, putting her hand on his inner thigh. "Having an erection is no3thing to3 be asha3ed o3f."

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU I'M NOT EMBARRASSED! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yells.

"So3…yo3u're no3t e3barrassed that I gave yo3u a bo3ner?" She chuckles, moving close to him. "That's kinky."

"Go away." He says.

"No3. We're partners fo3r a reaso3n." She smiles.

Iida goes to ask the teacher if he can work alone.

Floafa is offended by this. "No3! Yo3u're rude!"

"I told you to leave me alone multiple times!" Iida yells.

"But we're partners! I didn't just wanna leave yo3u!" She crosses her arms.

"We aren't partners anymore." He says.

She rolls her eyes. "Can I cho3o3se a new partner then?"

"Everyone else already has a partner." Presedent Mic statss.

"Can I be in a gro3up o3f three then?" She asks.

"Sure, but they have to be ok with it."

Floafa approaches Mineta and Bakugo, who are poorly working together. "I have to3 jo3in a set o3f partners. Can I jo3in yo3u guys?"

"No!" Bakugo says.

"Yes!" Mineta yells.

"No." Bakugo slaps Mineta.

"No." Mineta syas.

Floafa frowns. "Do3n't let hi3 bully yo3u like that! He's just an assho3le with no3 friends!"

"I have friends." Bakugo salts.

"Shut up." Floafa threatens.

"Anyways, you are not welcome in our group. Go ask someone else." Bakugo says.

"I wo3uldn't be surprised if yo3u beco33e a villain." She walks off to ask Crystal and Kiri.

"I wouldn't be surprised if _you_ became a villain." He salts back.

"It's o3n 3y to3-do3 list." She replies, glaring at him.

"Oh." Bakuhoe says.

Floafa approaches Crystal and Kiri. "Can I jo3in yo3u guys? Iida is being a cunt and so3 is Bakugo3."

"N-" Crystal begins.

"YES!" Kiri yells.

"Alright!" Floafa smiles.

"Nintendo." Crystal wheezes.

"Nina." Floafa responds.

"No." Crystal says.

"No3n't." Floafa responds.

"Aw." Crystal frowns.

Floafa sits down, smiling. "Alright. So3 what've yo3u go3t so3 far?"

They show her the shit they've been working on and she just nods in agreement.

She eventually just falls asleep in class on the desk.

Mineta walks over and just paps the Floaf.

Crystal slaps the Floaf.

Floafa jolts up, looking around. "WhAt thE fuUUCK?!"

"WAKe The FUCK uUUP!" Crystal yells.

Mineta is still there, just standing.

Floafa is just salty and she goes on her phone.

"Is that hentai?" Crystal looks over her shoulder.

"Yes." Floafa responds.

"Wait whaT?" Mineta is alarmed.

Floafa is just messaging someone about Mineta.

"Oof that is the worst kind of hentai." Crystal snorts.

Mineta is using Floaf as an armrest.

"Go watch your own hentai, Mineta." Crystal wheezes.

"No3. He can watch." Floafa laughs.

"OnO." Kiri laughs.

Floafa is now just doing whatever she wants on her phone like browsing memes.

"Go back to your partner, Mineta." Kiri says.

"Nah. He can stay. Bakugo3 is a huge assho3le." Floafa responds.

"We have to get work done though." He says.

Floafa sighs, putting her phone away. "Fine, Buzzkill."

Mineta goes back to his shitty, abusive partner.

Floafa groans, kicking her feet up. "This assign3ent sucks ass."

"Yeah but we have to do it!" Crystal snaps.

"It was the pros and cons of having friends. Right?" Floafa asks, looking at the ceiling. "I can list a bunch."

"Yeet." Crystal says.

"Let's see…" Floafa ponders. "Fo3r pro3s I'd say: Yo3u can talk to3 the3 abo3ut yo3ur feelings o3r so33e gay shit, they're fun to3 have aro3und, yo3u can discuss interests, they can lo3an yo3u cash and/o3r o3ther o3bjects…"

"And they don't stab you in the back." Kiri adds.

"So33eti3es." She responds.

"They don't hurt you." Crystal says.

"Again. So33eti3es." Floafa adds.

"Should we move on to the cons?" Crystal asks. "I know a lot."

"Co3ns: yo3ur friends can be to3tal lo3sers o3r jerks, they can be to3o3 clingy, yo3u can just no3t like the3…o3r they can bo3rro3w $20 and never give it back." Floafa lists, salty.

"They can stab you and leave you to die broken and alone." Crystal says.

"They can attempt to3 3urder yo3ur best friend by thro3wing them o3ff a building." Floafa adds.

"They can purposely leave stuff on stairs so you can trip and fall." Crystal says.

"They can fire a harpo3o3n gun in yo3ur ho3use, taking o3ff so33eo3ne's ar3…o3r they co3uld blo3w so33ething up in yo3ur ho3use." Floafa continues staring at the ceiling.

"They can call you names and tell you to end your life." Crystal says grimly.

"They can go3 o3n a killing spree and kill the rest o3f yo3ur friends." Floafa responds casually.

Kiri is concerned. "What?"

"Do3 yo3u have any co3ns, Kiri?" She asks.

"Your friends can beat you." Kiri says.

She looks over at Mineta. "I think we already said that o3ne."

"They can talk shit about you?" Kiri says.

"They can co3st yo3u yo3ur ar3…o3r an eye." She responds.

"…Who hurt you?" Kiri asks.

Floafa just stays silent. "So3 is that all the co3ns?"

"Yeah." Crystal says.

"Are you guys ok?" Kiri asks.

"No3." Floafa responds, smiling.

"Who hurt you?" Kiri is concern.

"That's nO3T i3PO3rTant!" She yells, forcing the smile to stay there.

"It is important." Kiri says.

"Tiffany." Crystal coughs.

"What wo3uld the ship na3e be?" Floafa ponders a ship.

"WHaT?!" Crystal is scared.

"Kiri-…Kiriafa?" Floafa asks her.

"What?" Crustass asks.

"Wo3uld the ship na3e be Kiriafa?" Floafa cocks her head.

"What ship?" Crystal asks.

"What do3 yo3u think?" Floafa responds. "Guess based o3n the na3e. Kiriafa."

"Oh…OH!" Crystal realizes.

"Yeah. That would be the ship name." She says.

"Kiri, do3 yo3u agree?" Floafa asks him.

"Do I agree to what?" He asks.

"That o3ur ship na3e wo3uld be Kiriafa." She responds. "Do3 yo3u agree?"

"Our ship?" He asks.

"Yeah." She responds. "Wo3uld the na3e be Kiriafa?"

"Sure?" He says.

"Alright." She smiles, writing something down.

"What?" A pikachu walks over.

"Kiriafa." She responds, still writing something

"Oh. Oh no." He says.

She laughs. "Why o3h no3?"

"Just no." He says.

"Why?" She asks. "What's the har3 in 3aking a ship na3e?"

"Why are you making a ship name?" He asks.

"Because I want to3." She replies, laughing ominously.

"You're weird." He laughs.

"So3 are yo3u. That's why we're 3o3irails." She smiles at him.

"Yeah." He smoil.

Floafa sticks a sticky note on Kiri's forehead that just says 'Kiriafa' on it. "Ye dun been clai3ed."

"Oh. Ok." He says.

"That's kinky." She replies.

"What how?" He asks.

"Lo3o3k at what it says." She laughs.

He reads the note and blooshes **hard**.

She can't help but laugh over it. "O3h 3y Go3d yo3u're blushing!"

He tries to cover his blosh.

"That is _ado3rable._ " She smiles. "O3h! And by the way, we can still see yo3ur blush."

He blosh **harder**. "Stop."

She smiles, turning his head to face her. "Sto3p blushing then~"

"I can't…" He says.

She smirks, leaning closer. "Yo3u're so3 easy to3 e3barrass."

"U-Uh…what are you doing?" He backs away.

She chuckles, moving closer again. "What do3 yo3u think I'3 do3ing?"

"Being weird?" He blosh, backing away.

She keeps moving closer. "No3. I'3 just do3ing so33ething…unusual."

He keeps backing away until he hits a wall.

"Have yo3u ever been kissed by an angel, Kiri?" She asks, pushing him against the wall.

He looks scared. "No."

"You are not an angel, Floafa." Cryst salt.

"Take the sign into3 3ind. Have yo3u ever tho3ught o3f what it really is?" She asks, kissing Kiri.

His face turns into a blueberry.

Floafa kisses him **harder** and more passionately.


End file.
